VERANO EN EL RANCHO (SUMMER AT THE RANCH)

 

Welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for September. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! (best Gomer Pyle). This edition of Rancho Relaxo is on time! I would have thought that Musk would have been on Mars before that happened!

We trust that all y'all are enjoying the fact that .67% of this year is over with and that things are going well on your part of planet Earth. This month's issue is actually on time despite the fact that things are still rather hectic around here and the dust usually never really settles (less dust on some days than others though we kick up as much as we can). We keep on truckin' though we're riding a trike. *SIGH*. 

Things are still as dry as buffalo bones on the prairie. There have been a few small grass fires locally but we've been spared the devastation of massive forest fires this year. California is fighting 20 fires as of this writing. It appears that the entire west third of the US is on fire but we are extremely thankful that we're not having to huff smoke all day, day after day.

Anyway, the Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our dry-as-garlic- toast humble rancho nestled in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Thanks for stopping in at Dirty Bird Central, the chicken ranch being run by two old turkeys.

Click on pics to enlarge

This is "nostalgia month". Let's run through some vintage Rancho pictures. 

Here's a batch of new chicks from about ten years ago. Every time we say that we aren't going to raise chicks, their fluffy cuteness overwhelms our logic and we cave forthwith. These are probably the buck apiece chicks from the feed store and are likely to be Rhode Island reds. 

This is Maggie "the wonder dog". She was an amazing faithful pooch that we still miss even after ten years. She was so low maintenance that it was unreal. Her preferences were opposite of most doggies. She preferred to sleep on the ground or patio concrete than in "Maggie's Mansion" (the big new dog house). She loved her "Maggie bones" which were simply large dog food treats rather than wet/canned dog chow. She had a box of them from which she would saunter over and grab one whenever she was hungry. We only had to keep her "bone box" filled. 

The toy in her mouth is "Maggie's lips". She was a hoot. She rarely barked and loved all visitors. 

This is "Lovey Dovey" who, for three consecutive years, faithfully brooded her clutch of eggs either on the front porch of the on the patio. Here, she's nesting in one of Connie's hanging flower planters. Even when we exited through the back door, she never flinched or abandoned her nest. After three years, we didn't see her again. 

This is about ten years ago when pastor John Appiah, from Ghana West Africa, was visiting the rancho. We haven't just stepped off a UFO. We're wearing bee suits and checking the rancho bee hives. We still have bees but haven't harvested any honey since the first couple of years. Why? It's a TON of work!  We'll get back to the honey business when the need is greater than what our tired airframes can handle. 

This is our "Rancho Rocket" not long after it was built many years ago. It has a 1.5 hp Honda motor and will crank out 20 mph even if you're in a hurry and have a tailwind. It gets about 75 mpg. It's still in the back yard under a tarp. The carburetor needs to be flushed but, other than that (so far), she's rideable. 

This shot is also about ten years ago. It's Grandma Honey with a couple of newbies in the family. 

Here's the six pups from Abbie's first and only litter. They are an interesting mix of Walker Treeing Coonhound and Australian sheep dog. Believe it or not, once they were weaned, it only took a week to find homes for them. One family from Bakersfield actually took two of them!

Speaking of Abbie, here's our loveable pooch not long after we got her from the former owners in Visalia. She's about six months old here. She has napping down to an art here and she's not forgotten any part of how to do it perfectly. 

Having an espresso machine at Rancho Relaxo is no secret. In fact, it's a staple. We've had two big beautiful Breville  espresso makers and a really nice Klarstein espresso machine. Add to that, we have had numerous small espresso makers that got worn out over time. 

This little guy is a super neat vintage "Benjamin and Medwin" stovetop espresso maker. Good friend and brother, Jackson Wallen, loves to collect such things so I gave it to him. 

Yes, it does snow here. Every 20 years or so, we do get a bit of snow in these parts. This shot is from several years ago. 

This is Connie the Canner's big healthy 22 quart pressure cooker. We call it "Puffer Belly". This thing has done a lot of work in the previous ten years or so. The only things bigger than this big beaut is our water still for purifying water and "Big Bertha", the freeze dryer. 

Here's a couple of shots of Morro Rock at Morro Bay, CA. Probable from about ten years ago or so. Once in a blue moon, we head to the coast and spend a couple of days taking in the fresh ocean air and knocking over the fish and chips places. The latest excursion was earlier this year but we are way overdue for another trip. It's only about 160 miles from our front door so there's really no excuse not to go on over there and cool off. 

Tip O' The Day: 

"People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing" (Will Rogers)

And, now a word from our sponsor: 

This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “Oona Olson's Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers”. Now, these are the best  "Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers” that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better “Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers” anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of “Oona Olson's Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers” at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Save Mart, Quick Mart, Rapid Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!

Rancho Relaxo  Report: 

Well, put that ol' gray bonnet on and bake my biscuits brown! It's September! And, it's only 113 days until Christmas! *SIGH* Moving along........

This is still an amazing summer! It has only been until this previous week that we had any really hot weather. The temps in the AM had been in the low-to-mid 60's then climbed to the low '70's. The daytime temps have jumped to 103 degrees. The good news is that the heat is supposed to drop in just a few more days. And, the drop will be significant. Instead of having to endure triple-digit heat, we'll be having October weather in early September! Cool!! Of course, we all know that weather is fickle so things can change within a few days. We'll see. 

The spice of life:

The other day (when lots of things happen around here), I had 5 rosemary starts and some "grass" clumps (probably chives) that I put in a 10”pot of water with just enough water to cover the root balls. The thought was to use hydroponics for a few days so they could hydrate and then they could be put in smaller pots with some fresh potting soil.

Imagine the surprise a few days later when it was time to replant them only to find them deader than a snollygoster while the grass was growing and prospering!  It may have been that they were root-bound but they surely weren't water deprived. As crazy as it sounds, it looks like being in water didn't help the matter. There is likely going to be more of those so I'll change my evil brown thumbing ways and try something else and hope that my great ideas don't kill any more of them.

Chickening report:

And, on the sixth day, God also made chickens. And, God said, “It is good….finger lickin' good!” (the Book of Third Randy).

The Ol' Rancher has to admit that dead-and-deep-friend chickens are his friends: such good friends that he and Connie the Canner just about wore out a local "Funky Fried Chicken" store in Porterville when they ran a chicken breast special for $4.99. At the special price, you also get a dab of fake mashed potatoes (about four tablespoons), a tad of fake brown gravy (about three tablespoons), a biscuit (my, but they're good!), and, of course, your choice of regular recipe or crispy. 

We went there at least three times that I can think of and were going to do it again. But, it was Wednesday and they were having a country fried steak special for $5.99. So, we got that instead. If the chicken special is still current when we get back to town, we may just up and do the special again! "Always pamper the old people", we always say! 

As for the living chickens, they are all doing well and are happy and healthy scratching and screeching for a living.. We are still getting a regular supply of wonderfully tasty farm-fresh eggs, too! Of course, the girls are getting a great balanced diet so that helps. There are a few ideas that have been floating around to help supply them with more protein but there'll likely need to be a....day off....so they can be implemented. 

When the coop was built, it was solid and ready to do the job we desired of it. However, over time, the chickens have modified the ground extensively for their personal dust bath needs and other scratching requirements. So, the ground is no longer level hardly at any place in the coop. Add to the uneven ground the potential for flooding and the place just isn't at all safe. In fact, it may qualify for a hard hat and hip boots zone. This means that you have to enter the chicken coop with the caution of a bomb disposal expert. It just ain’t safe in there! Ask me how I know!!

Several years ago, the coop had been flooded and had not totally dried out. For whatever the physics and chemistry (I'll let you guess), when you add water to a chicken coop, the floor becomes exceedingly slick. Then, there are obstacles to consider. There are two 4' long "A frame" chicken roosts, a 5' tall roosting tree, a large cage, a 4' x 3' hutch, an 8 gallon water tank, and a couple of hanging feeder cans that are mostly used for flooded environments when you can't put food on the ground. Then, there's the water hose which presents itself as a snaky snare to the unwary. Add a few extraneous items like spent corn cobs and you have a real tangle of a mess. 

So, the ol' chicken wrangler was carefully wending his way through the deeply muddy coop when, in the blink of an eye, he went down hard between the two "A frame" roosts. It felt like I had been body slammed by Hulk Hogan! That was a nasty lesson to learn so you can bet that all caution is used so that the chronologically-gifted chicken dude won't be found in another muddy heap and wailing for help. 

Ham Operation Report: 

After weeks of trying to establish communications on the 40 meter ham band and to confirm that my transceiver was fully functioning on the 10 meter, 15 meter, and 20 meter bands, a solid contact was made on 40 meters with Canada station, VE7WG, about 1,000 miles away. I was running an ICOM IC-706MKIIG at about 50 watts to my 19' roof-mounted vertical. We had reciprocal signals which confirmed that my station was functioning nominally even though it's stuck in a "bowl" surrounded by hills and mountains on three sides. 

The issue had been that few operators were even on the air. The one's that were on the air didn't seem to hear my signal and it just didn't make sense at all. This time was a holiday weekend and there were a lot of operators on the air so a contact was made. 

The bet is still that the horizontal dipole will out perform the vertical by a considerable amount but more so on the lower bands (40M-80M-160M). We'll see. Things are coming together but slower than "Lightning", the janitor, on "Amos and Andy".

The VHF/UHF modes are functioning well. The Comet dual-band vertical antenna is still earning its salt. That's a plus. So, that's the latest from station WA6IXI. 

There you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo (aka “Dos Acres”): home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else); together we are the Yo-Yo  twins who are always having to return to the rancho for something: home to one duck that we try to keep in a row (which is difficult since he's retarded): where the air always smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to us and where...you just never know.