Welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for August. We trust that all y'all are enjoying the fact that half this year is over with and that things are going well on your part of the planet.
This month's issue isn't really much closer to being on time than the previous issues. That's because things are still rather hectic around here and the dust usually never settles. We're still keeping both oars in the water but sometimes it's a bit tough to do that when you can't find where you placed the oars. *SIGH*.
The Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho nestled in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Things are so dry here they're thinking about outlawing anything that can make a spark so folks don't accidently start fires. Reckon we'll just have to get used to eating sack lunches. And, it seems that "crispy grass" is the new green. What shall become of this?!
Success Lake has been drained well past the half way point. We know that the state is allowing the water to disappear. Unfortunately, and acknowledging the fact that our ranchers aren't getting enough water, we can't prove that it's going to them. It's strange that the government would rather waste this precious commodity than allow us to grow crops with it. Nevertheless, local folks have enough water left to get wet in and pull their boats and barges down to the lake for a good time on weekends. We get our irrigation water straight from the Tule River and not the lake so all is well. We just need for the Ol' Rancher to get off his duff and break out the hoses and give the place a good soaking. But....that's a lot like....WORK!
Oh, one more thing. "Clima agradable para Agosto" means, "Pleasant weather for August".
Thanks for dropping in at Rancho Relaxo, the chicken ranch being run by two old turkeys.
(Click on the pictures to enlarge)
The 25 amp power supply is that big black box at the center left of the picture. It can handle the big ICOM IC-735 transceiver that's not being used for now (not pictured). You can see the 10 amp power supply in the center right hand. It powers my Yeasu 2 meter mobile unit and the CB transceiver as well.
At the top of the picture is an MFJ-949E antenna tuner. For now, it's tuning a 5/8 wave 11 meter vertical antenna which (amazingly) can be tuned down to the 80 meter ham band! To the right of the transceiver is my "Ham Key" (brand name) fully automatic code key for CW operations. As soon a couple of obstacles are overcome, I'll have the 60' crank-up tower guy wired down so my signals will be maximized. I can then hang the big beautiful 105' off-center fed Windom horizontal dipole up high.
This one doesn't have a name yet so we're counting on friends and family to perhaps toss a few suggestions our way. Maybe "Heffalump" would work.
Tip O' The Day:
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut" (Will Rogers)
And, now a word from our sponsor:
This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “Vernie Venson’s Vutted Vigger Vampers”. Now, these are the best “Vutted Vigger Vampers” that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better “Vutted Vigger Vampers” anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of “Vernie Venson’s Vutted Vigger Vampers” at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Save Mart, Quick Mart, Rapid Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!
Rancho Relaxo Report:
Holy guacamole, Batman! It's August...already!! If that ain't that enough to sink your sampan, it's only 138 days until Christmas! *SIGH* Moving along........
This has been an amazing summer! I don't ever recall being here during such a cool and enjoyable summer season! The temps in the AM have been in the low-to-mid 60's and the daytime temps have fluctuated between high 80's and low 90's. As a rule, we hit 95 degrees during the last week of May then it gets hotter from there and triple digits is then norm.
I know that because that was when it was warm enough to brave the snow runoff in the Tule River. Some of us knuckleheads could then ditch class and head for "Oly Hole" on the Tule about 1.5 miles above Lower Coffee Camp. Not all that scientific but close enough when you're a senior in high school and are pretty well tired of school by then.
Anyway, the cooler temps allowed a fishing trip or two that wouldn't have otherwise happened. Of course, the earth moved (or something) and the proper seasonal temps are pouncing on us with a vengeance. Tomorrow's daytime high is...104 degrees...and we're all bracing for the impact. Wheew! At least we got a really nice break for a while.
Tehachapi: The other day (when lots of things happen around here), we had to go to Tehachapi, CA for a funeral. Connie's cousin, Mike, passed away so we really needed to be there. Due to miscommunications and such, we arrived quite late to the cemetery but not so late as to miss the core cousins. It was good to get to see them again. Almost all of our other cousins have "gone home" or are in other states.
Other than that kind of event, we don't have a connection with Tehachapi. That said, you do have to go to go to Tehachapi on purpose because it's a small town that has been bypassed by the new Highway 58 which is the main east/west highway out of the southern San Joaquin Valley. The highway used to go right through downtown which had an affect on businesses there.
There are many towns that are no longer noticed because the main highway bypasses them. Some of them are not much more than the proverbial "ghost town" and some have even ceased to exist (e.g. Route 66). So, they need all the help they can get. Even so and thankfully, Tehachapi has remained notable for no few things.
One is that there's a big prison about 8 miles west of town. I know. I know. That's not something that necessitates a lot of bragging but it does add to the local economy and it has made the town a very lively, healthy, and pretty place. In fact, the place is thriving!
Since I hadn't been to downtown Tehachapi in 20 years (I drove right past it on the new bypass highway many times) it was almost a shock to see the changes! What a great little town! It gave me pause to remember things that I had long forgotten like.....they made a movie there!
Some (as in, some of us really old people) may recall the 1967 Walt Disney production "The Boy Who Flew With Condors". It's a true story about a local Tehachapi teenager who learned to fly sailplanes. The filming took place at the Tehachapi airport. Later, one of the leading cast members (none of whom were professional actors) built the sailplane airport 2.5 miles from the Tehachapi Municipal Airport (KTSP) .
You can tell that the movie was filmed a long time ago before the California Condors were almost extinct. Here's more about the film as told by the local newspaper (https://www.tehachapinews.com/lifestyle/pen-in-hand-the-boy-who-flew-with-condors-when-a-tehachapi-teen-starred-in/article_b62d185c-8565-11ed-b7a4-a7213feb4fe0.html).
Less than a year after the release of the movie, I met one of the pilots who flew one of the camera ships. He related that he was flying in the famous "Sierra Wave" while piloting a Piper PA-18 Super Cub. He stated that he was flying in an updraft with the aircraft pointed vertically down with full throttle and his VSI (vertical speed indicator) was only showing 200 fpm downward! Other stories tell about pilots in WW2 who would feather the props on their fighter aircraft and soar like a glider in the super waves. One of the planes was a twin-engine Lockheed P-38!
There are other points of interest like the "Norbertine Canonesses of the Bethlehem Priority of St. Joseph" (try saying that with a mouth full of peanut butter) also about 8 miles out of town. But, truly, it's the town itself that's worth the price of the ride. Check it out on Google Maps and take a virtual look at the cool places to eat, shop, and visit they have there. They even have a train museum.
And, if you're ever on Highway 58 and have a few minutes to work with, check out the Tehachapi Railroad Loop about 3 miles west of town (Google Maps). It's only about a mile off the highway. This is where you can watch a train loop around and then crossover itself. It's the primary railroad track out of the south valley so it's always busy.
Some of the "quite mature in age" may also remember the 7.3 Tehachapi earthquake that happened in 1952. I was a teenager in the '60's and folks were still recalling its devastation.
Golden Corral: To get to Tehachapi from here requires transiting Bakersfield. This is a good thing because, when you pass through Bakersfield, you must return using the same route. Would you like to guess which favorite all-you-can-eat-buffet is located on West Ming Ave in Bakersfield? YUP! Colden Corral!
It was actually a toss up between Golden Corral and Zorba's on N. Chester in Oildale (think: buffet vs great burgers and fries). Zorba's has been a favorite of ours since the late '90's. Not having eaten the morning of the funeral left the Ol' Rancher rather "hongry" (much like "hungry" but with emphasis) so Golden Corral won the coin toss. Old people are (mostly) practical. It was great that the old fork flinger remembered to not eat until he made money but he really did eat too much.
Ground sick: Speaking about flying, I really need to turn some cash into noise by burning some 100LL aviation fuel. I’m getting “ground sick” (sick of being on the ground). There aren't any aircraft for rent between Bakersfield and Fresno. So, the Ol' Fly Guy can't rent a plane and head to the beach. It's doable but, by the time you drive to Bakersfield, "wake up the plane" (i.e do the preflight inspection/walkaround and such), fly for an hour or so (at 200 dollars per hour), then put the plane to bed, you spend half a day for a one hour flight. It's tough to whack a half a day out of our schedule.
It really is a hoot to just pack up the plane, fly to Oceano, pitch the tent and camp out near the ocean. Or, fly to Kern Valley Airport at Lake Isabella and spend the night at a rustic motel in Kernville where there are lots of fun things to do (including eating, of course). I've done these things but there's no law that says I can't do them again!
I spent a lot of my youth with my feet off the ground, my head in the sky where the sun shines (other times my head was parked in another place where there is much less sunlight) and wending my way through the footless halls of space. It's a natural element for me and it's greatly missed. Plus, I remember all of the really great planes I've gotten to fly or fly in.
One of my favorites is the WACO YMF-5 biplane. She sports a 300 hp Jacobs radial engine. You never forget the rumble of that powerful round engine throbbing in your soul. I was getting checked out by "Attitude Aviation" in Livermore (the instructor was Rhett Butler...you have to love his parents). I hadn't flown a trail dragger in a long time (and certainly not a big ship like the WACO) so, after a few hours of instruction, we switched to a Super Decathlon so I could get back up to speed. Others are the Howard DGA-15P from the 1930's. Bennie Howard was a race pilot who built a number of these big babies. The DGA-15P has an even bigger round engine on it. It has the big 450 hp Pratt and Whitney R-985 brute motor on the nose. I'll have to check the "N" number but I think the one in the picture is the same one that I got to fly while in Memphis, TN. It belongs to a FED-X pilot who is a friend of Connie's brother (who was a FED-X pilot). Another is the Meyers OTW. The one pictured (I took the picture) is owned by Connie's brother, Roger, who lives in TX.
Other memorable ships include the Christen Eagle, the Decathlon and Super Decathlon (the Super is my pick. Great ship!), Champion Citabria (biannual flight review), the venerable Piper J-3 Cub (at least three of them), Piper PA-18 Super Cub, Piper PA-38 Tomahawk, the Aeronca Champion (7AC, 7DC, 7EC - a true favorite. Many hours in them), Aeronca 11AC Chief, Ercoupe 415, the North American T-6/SNJ (flown from the rear seat), Bolkow 208 Junior (left seat), Beechcraft King Air B200, Aero Commander 500 (twice), Meyers 200, Mooney M20E-Super 21, left seat), the North American P-51 Mustang (the aircraft pictured is "Ridge Runner" and is the same plane I flew in back in '87), Boeing B-17 (a birthday present from Connie. The one pictured is the same aircraft I got to fly in), Max Holste Broussard (similar to the DeHaviland DHC-2 Beaver. Flown from the right seat), Vans RV-4 (two of them), Vans RV-6A, Cessna 195 (many times), Ryan PT-22 WW2 trainer (rear seat stick time), the Evektor Sportstar light sport plane which I LOVED to fly, the Globe Super Swift, Luscombe 8A, Luscombe 8E (my first fifteen hours of instruction were in these two birds), Cessna 310P (think Sky King), Piper PA-23 Apache, Piper PA-20 Pacer, Thorp T-18, and even the Challenger II ultra-light ship.
This list doesn't include the less-memorable planes that still are a great joy to fly: the Cessna 150 (I've flown a handful of them. I may get to fly the "straight tail" model in the near future), Cessna 152, Cessna 172 (at least six that I remember), Cessna 175, Cessna 180, Cessna 182RG, Cessna 177 Cardinal, Cessna 206, Cessna 210, Piper PA-28 Cherokee 140/150/160 (at least 5), Piper Archer, Piper Comanche (180 and 250), Piper PA-30 Twin Comanche, Piper 235 Dakota (my high-performance endorsement), a Beechcraft Bonanza (three that I can recall), Twin Beech Baron (two that I recall), and a twin engine Piper PA-44 Seminole (took my multi-engine training in one at the Long Beach Airport).
Note that I wasn't PIC (pilot in command) on some of these birds but I did get to fly them from the right/rear seat. I didn't log any of the time. On some of them, I was a wide-eyed grinning passenger.
Guess you could say that the Ol' Wingnut likes to fly. Thanks for bearing with my "sentimental journey" (you WWII bird watchers will catch that one). Reckon they call that "nostalgia".
Wrapping it up: Well, the chickens are chickening, the doggies are dogging, the freezers are freezing, the refrigerators are friging...frigging ...um....refrigerating, and the freeze dryer is doing its thing. We're moving along albeit somewhat more slowly than we'd like but all is well here at the ranch.
So....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo (aka “Dos Acres”): home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else); together we are the Yo-Yo twins who are always having to return to the rancho for something: home to one duck that we try to keep in a row (which is difficult since he's retarded): where the air always smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to us and where...you just never know.
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