Thanks to Linda Lissner for her contribution in the "name the stupid looking rooster" contest. Thanks, also, to other contributors who cracked me up with their suggestions!
THE TEXAS FAM. This is son, Jeff, with wife, Sandra. The newly weds on the left are grandson, Randall, and his wife, Hannah. There's a ton of talent hiding between those 8 ears. Perhaps, one of these days I'll brag on them. If I do, be sure to grab some popcorn and a cold drink cause it'll take awhile.
They wanted to come to California so the rest of the fam could meet Hannah. It was a great time for all because Randall and Hannah got to meet their paternal great-grandmothers as well as "regular" family members. They got to see most of them. Jeff's brother, Michael, is still in Longview, WA and wasn't able to come down. Jeff would loved to have gone up to see him, too, but they didn't have sufficient time to work with. Anyway, everyone's in love with Hannah so it looks like she's a "keeper".
It has been very unseasonably cool as of late and we are all rejoicing like crazy! As a native to this area, I can attest the fact that it just doesn't get cool during this time of the year. Usually, you walk outside at 7 AM and it's like walking into an oven on purpose. It won't last, of course, but the respite was a real blessing!
Our Maytag washer is going to need an overhaul so we purchased a backup unit. Pictured is a like-new LG monster capacity washer. It came from an estate sale. The previous owner only had it less than a year. He paid around 900 dollars for it; we got it for 200 dollars.
The repair kit for the Maytag is less than 60 dollars and will be here in a few days. I rebuilt our Maytag dryer so I guess I'll get to rebuild the washer. The outer tub bearings and shaft need to be replaced. It doesn't sound like too big of a deal.
Here's the new "ruler of the roost". This big boy is a white Leghorn, rooster and he is proving to be the "cock of the walk". He took full charge of the place when his six toes hit the ground. There are also three other rooster but he's keeping them in line. He doesn't have a name yet. Y'all got any ideas?
Here's Feral Fawcett advising Abbie to watch her step and that she will not put up with any doggie nonsense. The fact is, Abbie pays attention!
Here's our super watchdog in her new stealth guard position behind a garbage can. I'm quite sure that no one can see her with her eyes closed and one ear to the ground. I just wonder if I need to apprise her of the fact that she can't see them either.
Well…it’s July. Doesn’t that just make you want to grab your trombone and join in the celebration of the arrival of the estival solstice?!
Actually, it has been unseasonably cooler around the ranch and the old folks are rejoicing! We’ve had a couple of days where we didn’t even use “Ol’ Swampy”, the evaporative cooler, until way late in the day. Even then, it wasn’t for very long. Just using fans was sufficient. We loved it!
There’s only 172 days shopping days until Christmas! That is, unless the food, fuel, and fun supply chain collapses into heap of flames and ashes. We might all want to stow away some Christmas cookies and a fruit cake just in case.
It’s time to buzz the tower.
Everything is moving along here at the Rancho (albeit, it is running rather rapidly). We’ve chewed up half of this year already and last year’s agenda has hardly been touched. The Ol’ Rancher and Connie the Canner are in good health, in good spirits, and our soul is prospering. So, they’re quite pleased with that.
We’re still getting ready for the big October yard sale. It means that we are moving stuff from here to our hangar all the while sorting and pricing other things to take later. Some things are being tossed out and others will be kept. Any way you slice the cupcake, it’s a huge undertaking. Thankfully, we have a couple of trailers that make that part of life much easier.
The long and the shorts of it: Latest “Flash Tip” of the day from Rancho Ran: do not …do not …take your weed eater for a stroll while wearing shorts. The end.
The other day (when lots of things happen around here), I found my missing “Under Dog Super Energy Pills” (which, wonderfully and cleverly, happened to be disguised as a cup of home-brewed Starbuck’s coffee). This led to my being able to just up and grab the ol’ “Echo” weed eater and “git after it”.
“It” was the job of weed whacking the front and rear yards that had just been mowed the other day (before the other day). The weeds were about as high as an elephants eye (and, we all know how high that is and how to sing the song, eh?). This meant that there was some real work to be done (where’s Maynard G. Krebs when you need’im?!).
After fueling and priming the thing, and giving the starter cable a strong yank to give life to the motor, it was time to fling some string and whack some weeds. In about a half an hour, the big two-cycle motor was kicked off. The job was finished but my legs looked and felt like they had been clobbered with a fragmentation grenade! That was brilliant! You would have thought my legs had acute acne. Ugh.
Not to self: “Don’t do that again, dummy”.
Chickening Report or Eggsactly!: Thanks to my cousin, Heather, we now have10 new layers and another rooster! They’re all in good health and are laying eggs like pros! And, y’all just know that eggs are our friends around here.
It didn’t take long for our three other dirty birdies to establish the necessary entente with the new birds. The trick is to incorporate them at night. When they awake together, they think they’re cousins and just go about their scratching and pecking as usual.
Having a bunch of new birds requires that I sharpen up on my “Chickenese”. I think I’m doing OK because they do stay calm when I talk to them in their native language (I hope the neighbors ain’t watching). I still think that they think I have an accent, though.
In any event, I declare that there will be no more egg shortages at Rancho Relaxo. We’ve got eggs!
Gallos Galore or Rooster Rich: Not long ago (but later than the other day), we had one new rooster and only a couple of hens (Feral Fawcett and Rooby Dooby, the hen formerly known as “Speck”, the tiny chick).
When our cousin, Heather, sold us 10 layers and gave us a rooster to boot, we then had two roosters. Then, shortly after that, a local “bird brain” gave us two of their cockerels. They had ordered female chicks but ended up with a couple of males. So, we now know have four roosters and 12 layers in the “Huevos Hotel”! It’s beginning to look like we’ll have our egg ranch restored soon!!
The thinking is to have one or more of our ladies hatch out a bunch of chicks for us. We can use them to sell, barter, or what all (it's all about having options). It’s not likely that we’ll use them as meat birds because we simply don’t have to. If times get really rough, it’ll be no problem doing that, though.
Processing a chicken isn’t a big deal but it does take time. Time, as you may recall, is at a premium around here so we try to use it wisely. That, and it isn’t really cost effective when retail chicken prices are still fairly low (for now. Read the supply chain comment above). Why bother with a really big mess when you don't have to?
One way or another, Rancho Relaxo will have chicken noodle soup available.
Some of our long-time customers have been longing for the return of “Rancho Relaxo Eggs” and always ask us to call them when we have some to spare. It looks like they need to guard their phone because, after Connie the Canner commits to water glassing a goodly supply of them, and as soon as our herd expands, she’ll start selling them.
You may want to make note that “water glassing” is a method of long-term storage for eggs. With this method, eggs can be preserved for at least nine months. We’ve already proved it so can attest to its efficacy.
What’s cool is that folks are still saving their egg cartons for us! Is that neat or what?! Looks like there will be no shortages around here.
Crash! Boom! Bang! Or Stormy Weather (thank you, Lena Horn): The other day, early in the morning and then again later in the day, we had lots of boom, bluster, flash, crash, and lots of “mad rain”. One of the Valley’s occasional summer electrical storms struck this area. It came without warning which left Rancho Ran scrambling to snatch a couple of tarps to cover a few things that were unprotected from the sneaky storm.
As you may have noticed from previous reports, “mad rain” is when you get just enough rain to make your car muddy but not enough to wash off the mess. It makes you mad because you then get to drive a four-wheel mud hole.
As you may guess, the Coop de Ville had to be hosed down at the local DIY car wash place on the next trip to town. We’ll wash the Camry later. The local car wash no longer takes cash so we started using the DIY place down by our church. Besides, why pay 12 dollars for a clean car when you can do it for 4? I cheap!
What a grand and grandkids time!: Not long after grandson, Randall, was married, his mom and dad, Sandra and Jeff Minnick, rounded him and his new wife, Hannah, up and they headed west. On the way out, they stopped at the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas and a number of other interesting places. Though having flown to CA before, Hannah hadn’t seen any of the land in between her home state of Texas and California. This was certainly a treat for her!
We hadn’t seen the “kids” in a few years so it was super to hear that they were coming! Our first plan was actually to see them first in Texas, go to OK and IL, then head back to CA where we would likely get to see them a second time at our place. Since that didn’t pan out, we still got to see them when they came to see us!
Jeff’s mother, Vickie, and his sister Jennifer, live in Visalia with their families so they wasted no time visiting them and getting to introduce them to Hannah. It was a grand occasion over there, too, since they hadn’t seen any of the “kids” for quite some time. There wasn’t enough time to make it to Washington to see brother, Michael, because they just had a week to work with.
They stayed here in Springville for a couple of nights which gave us plenty of time to visit and enjoy a huge breakfast the next morning. Since there was a Keurig coffee maker and an espresso machine handy (of course), there was no shortage of really good coffee (have I mentioned that coffee is our friend?).
That’s especially so after getting the smashing deals on coffee at “Falling Prices” in Porterville, We managed to get a huge supply of Starbucks, Peets, Lily, Lavazza, Café La Llave, Tossimo, Senseo, Kicking Horse, Intellegensia, Coffee Fool, and Ethical Bean, coffees. So, reckon we had options, eh?
We even sent the Minnicks home with a nice sized box of Nespresso coffee pods (Sandra has a Nespresso coffee maker) and K-Cups (she has a big Keurig, too). The next Saturday, after going to "Falling Prices", we ended up bring home even more coffee than we sent with them. Amazing.
Anyway, it was great to see the fam again and to meet our sweet-as-a-peach new granddaughter-in-law. She has all our votes as a “keeper”! She’s as sharp as a tack and is fluent in “Ameslan” (American Sign Language). She’s even featured on YouTube!! Is that cool or what?!
After a nice quick breakfast, they departed for parts east. They made it home safe and sound. We thank God for that.
Of course, it was hard to see them leave because we aren’t sure when we’ll get to see them again. It would be a lousy deal if the next time we got to see the grandkids was when their kids were graduating from college. Ugh.
LG Clothes Washer or We’ve Got Options: Connie the Canner is a busy lady (as if y’all didn’t know) so when it comes to switching hats and becoming Connie the Washer Woman, she doesn’t miss a beat. This means that if her fairly new Maytag “Bravos” washer is acting up, she takes the matter quite seriously.
In fact, that’s what happened. On the spin cycle, her washer started sounding like a Boeing B-17F with a full bomb load getting ready to take off to bomb Berlin. Its screeching presentation was about as welcomed as the rupture of a California subduction fault.
As a quick aside, we’re “Boomers”. We were there when America built quality products. One of those products was the Maytag washing machine. In fact, one of the commercials for Maytag was one in which the Maytag repair man was about as lonely as a miner with no mule in Death Valley. That means that we expected Randall and Hannah to inherit our fully functioning Maytag washer. Period.
We didn’t expect it to have issues so soon (as in “engineered obsolescence”) with either the washer or the dryer. The Maytag dryer (we bought them as a set) was even newer when we had to overhaul it. Now it’s the washer’s turn to go on the fritz.
So, then, imagine the grunting and harrumphing in the laundry room when this alien noise started screaming at us from our expensive clothes drowner. We tried to find the Maytag repair man’s phone number but it wasn’t available. I guess I shouldn’t wonder since he’d be something like 110 years old about now.
Plan B: Our friend “Duck Duck Go” (search engine) briefed us on the fact that our disconcerting noise was due to the failure of the outer tub bearings. Actually, I knew what the issue was just from the sound. However, I didn’t know just which and where those bearings were and didn’t know what was required to fix it and with which tools.
In a few minutes, it was discovered that all that was needed was an inexpensive “bearing and shaft replacement kit with bearing tool”. No problem. The part was ordered and should be her an a few days.
Repairing it shouldn’t much of an issue. I’ve already overhauled the Maytag dryer which, like the washer, should never have failed in so few years. It’s not likely that I’ll purchase a Maytag product again since both units failed. Still, being forced to place my faith in foreign made products fries me to no end. It’s truly sad to say that, in too many cases, “Made in America” is no longer a desirable thing.
On the whole, fixing the washer shouldn’t be a big deal. You just pull the thing apart and stack the pieces in a corner. Then, you use the bearing puller tool to yank the old bearings off. After that, just reinstall the new shaft and new outer tub bearings and then pat yourself on the back for being a qualified Maytag repair man (…uh…please don’t call).
Plan C: The washer hasn't complete gone down. But, if the mechanical malady completely disables it and we have to wait for parts, Connie’s clothes would start piling up. This is not good. Pillowing piles of shorts, shirts, pants, and panties are not allowed on her washing watch. What to do? Well, you just look for a deal on another washing machine and circumvent to issue, that’s what.
In a day or so, we stopped at a local yard sale that was being conducted by a friend of ours. He buys estate sale “tailings” and then promotes his own yard sale. Connie had seen a nice looking LG washer a week or so before and wanted to see if it was still there. Can you imagine the look on her face when she saw that was, in fact, still there? She looked like she had just won the "Lotto".
But, there’s a backstory. What had happened was that someone had purchased this gorgeous 900 dollar washing machine for the astoundingly low price of 200 dollars! Then, for whatever reason, the guy brought it back!
We asked John, the Yard Sale’er, what the deal was. He apprised us that he didn’t really know other than the guy said something along the lines of “It didn’t work right”. He told us that we could have it for 200 dollars and that, if anything was wrong with it, he would gladly refund the money. That worked for us!
It only took a short time to load the big washer onto Wooly Pulley and haul it home. In a day or so, we hooked it up outside on the patio and tested it. Sure enough, it didn’t work right. It was not filling correctly because the water pressure was too low and it was leaking water out of the drain pipe at the same time.
After taking off the cold water input hose and checking the input, it was easy to determine that the filter was completely occluded. No problem; the filter was cleaned and nominal water pressure was restored.
Then, the drain pipe was placed higher up so that it wouldn’t allow siphoning and all was well. Connie the Washer Woman tested it and it was running as good as new! She was quite pleased with it! Her only (semi) complaint is that the tub is so deep she has to stand on her tiptoes to reach the bottom! She loves this thing!
Well....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo: home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most authority: home of the Yo-You twins and home of a retarded duck: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else): where the air smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to me and where...you just never know.
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