RANCHO TOSTADO

Here's a shot of the front of Rancho Tostado looking north from the front yard. Directly behind me is Highway 190 just across a small ditch full of tules. I miss my green lawn!

And the correct temperature is.....102 degrees, a mere 5 degrees short of the forecast. Reckon someone threatened to shoot the weatherman, eh?

Looking south from the front porch. We are continually thankful for the big fruitless Mulberry tree that cuts some of the heat.

From the front porch again and looking SE at the driveway. Most of our flowers look like they've been hosed with a flame thrower.

Here's a shot of our vineyard. They're doing as well as can be expected. I drip irrigate these little guys to keep them alive. We just picked up  some more vines so will be planting them soon. They were on closeout at a local supermarket so we just hauled a bunch of them home along with some nectarines that were less than half off. .

This is looking north again but from the back yard and toward the well house. This area used to be rather lush and verdant. Looks like Achmed and his herd of a thousand goats has passed through here!

Looking north again from the back yard towards the mountain that separates us from the town of Springville. We're actually south of the town but have to travel east first then make the turn north to get there.

 This shot is just to the west of the one above. It shows our "back 40" including a few of our 23 or so orange and tangerine trees. It also shows the fire suppression water storage tank. In the middle of the shot are a pomegranate tree and a plum tree (difficult to see them).  Just above the oranges in the background is our neighbor's home. He's a doctor. Doctor's are our friends.






Well, Virginia; it looks like another month has blitzed by here at Rancho Tostado without being noticed ("rancho tostado" being the Mexican colloquialism for "burnt alley"). Connie and I were so busy that we forgot to check the calendar and let a perfectly good month slide by without getting to use much of it as a day off. I think we were able to squeeze in a couple of short naps, though.

 I suppose that isn’t a huge complaint. After all, all work and no play does make for some great yard sale deals, eh? In fact, just the other day while out and about on the job we stopped at a “moving sale” (our favorite type) and purchased a few things (you just knew I was leading you here now, didn’t you?). It was later in the day and the weather was quite warm (102 deg. is pretty warm) so we didn’t want to stand and melt into the nice man’s yard and leaving him with a big mess to clean up, don’tcha know. So, we didn’t dally. However, he advised us to check back later in the day on Sunday (the next day) and he would make us a deal. OK…we can do that. He may just as well have said, “Y’all come back and I’ll throw money at you and…by the way….please don’t duck”.

 The next day was a long one. We had to pick up folks for church, have church, drop off folks from church, and attend to two computer clients prior to actually going home. When we finally did get close to home at 4 PM, we remembered to stop back by the moving sale that was still being conducted in the mucho heat and mucho humidity. As we got out of the car, Connie and I saw a lot of stuff that we had wanted from the day before still waiting for us to haul it off. In fact, it appeared to us that no one had even been to his yard sale at all since we left! There was a ton of really good stuff still remaining! We discussed what we thought we would offer him and arrived at the 100 dollar mark. This “lowball” figure was because we really didn’t want to be moving tons of stuff in the heat and it was going to be hotter yet during the remainder of the week. UGH.

 When we got there, the gentleman was taking a nap (like we had wanted to do in a really big way) and was awakened by his Australian shepherd who faithfully went in to fetch him. He came out and was glad to see us. Without solicitation he said, “Why don’t you just buy everything?”. He said, “I’ll sell it all to you for 100 dollars”. I immediately said, “Sold! Your yard sale is now officially ended”. My! That was easy!

The next day he advised that he had a shed that needed to be emptied so we bought the entire contents for 20 dollars. Looks like there are way over 100 DVD Movies, an antique clock from 1896, and other goodies! The story gets better; he said that he need to empty the house out and sold us just about everything in his house for another two hundred bucks!

 We haven’t catalogued things yet but it looks like we should at least feel a bit guilty for being so blessed. Naw. We got over that temptation rather quickly.

 Some of the things include a Black and Decker vacuum food sealer (which makes a nice addition to our other sealers), a nice low-mileage Rival toaster oven (I’ve wanted one for awhile), a new campfire camping grill, hand tools (shovels, hoes, etc), miscellaneous hardware, table and chairs, two aluminum ladders, bric-a-brac, misc stuff, junk, and what all. It looks like some of it will go to eBay, some to Craig’s List, and some for our October yard sale. We certainly will keep a lot of the other goodies for the ranch hands.

There was even a late model HP workstation computer in the storage shed that I upgraded and just now sold (a few days later) for 200 bucks. Just the one item paid for 1/2 of our investment. Well! Bless my bippy! Where I come from they call that "Such a deal!".

Speaking of yard sales, recently, we found ourselves at a yard sale in Hooterville (the colorful term of endearment for my backward hometown of Porterville. Even the entire city counsel walks around backward at City Hall). I saw a 32” LG flat screen TV on a table. I asked the nice lady what the story was concerning it. She advised that it would only stay on for less than a minute then it would shut off. The price was a piddling ten bucks so I snatched it up and hauled it to Minnick’s Computer Services where it soon had the back cover off. Ol’ Ran, never a TV repair man, Googled the matter and came up with a definitive clue: the power supply had an issue. Come to find out, it had a single “blown” 1000pf 16v electrolytic capacitor. No worries. I ordered a bag of those off eBay for 8.00 and waited for the ship to come in. When it did, I de-soldered the old cap and soldered in the new one. I glued the set back together and set it on my table where I had the 26” monitor parked. It works like new! The total cost for the big beauty was ten bucks plus a 16 cent (YEP!) capacitor! I am now officially spoiled and will never again be satisfied with my dinky 20” monitor!

 Part of being busy this month is the fact that I’ve conducted 7 funerals in as many weeks. Two of them were for close relatives. Most know by now that my brother, Steve, died on July 3^rd. His funeral was on the 12^th. Then, my aunt, Bobbie Helen, died a few days later and her funeral was on the 25^th. One of the funerals was for the husband of a lady who had been a member of our church many years ago. We had his funeral on a Wednesday. Three days later, her only son died at her home. His funeral was about a week later.

 If that isn’t interesting enough, the mother of one of the men in our church just died and it appears that I’ll be conducting an 8^th service. I’ve conducted more funerals in less than two months than in the previous several years combined. And, we have reason to believe that there may yet be others in the not-too-distant future. Let us pray not.

 An old song asks, “Whatcha gonna do when the creek runs dry, honey?” Our creek, the Tule River, for the second year in a row, has dried up and is at “zero flow”. That’s unheard of. We don’t have time to “sit on the bank and watch the crawdads die” (same old song) but we can pray for rain. Our area is dryer than double-toasted roofing tile. This is not a good thing.

 People’s wells are drying up too. Some of the farmers/ranchers are having their existing wells drilled down to the 300’ and 400’ levels. Having to pump water instead of getting it from the rivers/canals is costing a fortune (the utility companies are dancing naked in the streets with glee). As an interesting side note: the Valley floor has sunk more than 3’ since the time I was in high school. This isn’t not a good thing either.

 The old folks at Rancho Relaxo still have water at around the 40’ mark that we can tell. It has something to do with the water table at our specific location. Not sure of the specifics but we’re quite pleased with that fact. Our irrigation/ditch water (that comes from the Tule River) is being rationed at the rate of “four on; four off”. We can trickle a bit of water so as to keep most of our trees and garden damp but can’t keep the lawn greened up because we don’t have the pressure to run a sprinkler. I’m going to overhaul the system and see if I can maximized water flow to our dirt. I’ll probably do this ….on my next ….day off. Uh-huh (I just checked and the water pressure is up a bit so there is hope).

 As an emergency option (options are our friends), we had our ditchwater routed to our main water system at the pump house and fire suppression tank. If a water crisis happens, and there is water in the ditch, we can throw a couple of valves open and have river water on tap. It will be filtered through three course filters and then a full residential filter. There won’t be any chunks in our water. As a last resort, we also have access to our 3,200 gallon fire suppression water tank. We would likely have to boil that stuff but at least it wouldn’t have crawdads in it.

 The summer heat has been brutal on Connie’s green beans. She was looking forward to something other than brown beans but she lost the bet. She finally threw a sun screen over them and the newly planted ones seem to be doing well. The tomatoes seem to be thriving but not like last year. We’re going to overhaul the entire system after this growing season (on my day off, no doubt).

 The okra is a tough ugly mess. It has turned into OSB probably because of the heat. It's so tough that we're thinking about using it as 12ga shotgun ammunition. It would really hurt the Taliban if dropped from 16,000' too. So, I may be looking at a contract with the Air Force soon.

We really can’t much use it in or for anything. However, I boiled the heck out of it (not much heck left in it so far) and used the product as a thickener and flavoring agent. Tastes great too.

 One thing we’re doing with the veggies we grow and that other’s give us from their gardens is to make soups to can. Connie has given me the honor of whomping up a few recipes for stews and soups that can be stowed for winter stores. I can do that! There was some closeout whole chickens at Smart and Final the other day so, at half price, we simply had to cart off a few of them. They ended up in large pots full of vegetables made with savory chicken stock brewed by the chief knife slinger, Ol’ Ran.

 OK….enough for now. I have to get back into the saddle and rope another sick computer. Don’t touch that dial (you don’t know where it’s been!).

Rancho Ran and Side-cook Connie the Canner

 

 

 

Sad Day At The Ranch

Some times it’s difficult to avoid how reality can screw up a really fine day. I had intended to post a jovial and jocular update complete with a few pictures of Lovey Dovey and such (she’s back for a third go-around). It’s not happening this time.

 Most of you know that my brother, Steve, passed away Wednesday, July 3^rd. He had been seriously ill for years but is now at rest. Now, it’s a complete course change for my mother who, at age 85, will want to move to a smaller home with far less upkeep to worry about.

 May I blather for a bit? Thanks. I don’t often do that but just need to stroll down memory lane for a few minutes. I remember when my folks brought Steve home from the hospital like it was yesterday. He was born on December 6^th, 1953 so I suspect that they turned my mother loose with the new package three days later (which, as I recall, was about the norm for back in the old days). I see the house where we lived at the time (it was torn down to make room for a new one about 15 years or so ago). I see the small bedroom/living room and the small kitchen and even remember the landlord's name. The day was a dingy gray winter one typical of this area.

I was crowding my 5^th birthday so I suppose I was old enough to remember a few things. I recall a few dydees and such and, of all things, a breast pump. Reckon I thought it was some sort of a horn or something.

 Steve was a good kid and a reasonable baby brother. I didn’t get much guff from him since I was big enough to whack him if he tried anything. Unlike middle brother, David the Knothead, he never did give me any grief. He was just always a pleasant young boy who seemed to mind his P’s and Q’s.

 Dave, well….there’s another story altogether. Dave seemed to track down trouble with a magnifying glass and a pickaxe. He was as much a numbskull as he was troublesome. He gave me some grief one time when he was about 9 years old. He just wouldn’t give it up and hassled me until I just bopped him one. We were good buds for a long time after that.

 Then, his diagnosis of “numbskull” progressed to “brain dead”. If you know anything at all about medicine and life, you know that it takes a lot of determination to advance from one stage to another like that. “Determined Dave” would have been another good name to call him as it surely fit him like a glove.

 When he was about 16 years old, he chose me off one day. Now…..I was a pretty easy going fellow even back in my days of proving how big of a dork I could be. But, I didn’t take to being challenged like that. He swung at me with predictable results…..I bopped him a good one. It wasn't in my heart to hurt the kid since I was taller, bigger, and had about a 4” reach advantage on him and very easily could have just mopped the dance hall floor with him. I just wanted to get his attention and did. He didn’t feel like making up this time. He was a practiced thug and thought he was tough and getting his butt handed to him wasn't going to change him or his mind any time soon. In fact, he died a thug. So, we didn’t get along much at all after that. Must have pranged his pride or something. He came to stay with us for a few months in Rockford in the early '70's. He was still set on being an idiot so we had to have him leave. I was working for the city and didn't need my drug-using drug-dealing brother around to mess up my life.

 In '77, he attacked me in Fresno one evening when he came over to visit. Long story short: he jumped a coffee table and began to pummel me. I tried to stand but the couch slipped out from under me. I fell over…backwards and upside down…..behind the couch. He jumped me and started beating me up. I can't speak for anyone else but I don’t take to pummeling very well and took exception to his aggression. All that was necessary to end the losing streak was to regain my footing. When I did, I merely strapped a front choke hold on the kid and brought him to his knees. Funny to think that I just couldn’t hurt the boy and found no reason to do anything but control him and keep him still. In fact, I didn’t even strike him a single time though I could easily have made him eligible for a long stay in the hospital within a few seconds. As crazy as it sounds, I wasn’t even mad at him and took no offense in the fact that I took 16 stitches as the “loser” of the bout.

 A few months later, at 3AM, he grabbed my dad’s pistol and was going to kill us all. I had to wrestle him down and disarm him. The pistol discharged in the bedroom where my 3 kids were sleeping (long story) but I was able to overpower him and pull the cylinder pin. I still have the scar in the middle of my left hand that was inscribed by the iron sight (you lock the cylinder with your hand and place the web of your thumb and forefinger between the hammer and the firing pin). Wanna know something interesting? I was on the 9th day of a fast yet had more than enough strength to handle the exigency.

Guess I pumped more memories from the “thought well” than I anticipated. Funny how we humans work.

 Moving along.....when I left for Rockford, IL late in ’69, Steve was still a mid-teener boy growing up. I didn’t spend much time with him prior to the move since who would want their baby brother following them around, eh? By the time I returned to CA in ’74, Steve was a grown man with his own life to tend to and I just didn’t get to see much of him. I ran into him once in awhile up in Fresno when I lived there but he had moved to Turlock with his new wife and both of us were working full time (I was working 100 hours minimum per week at the time).

 He moved, I moved, I moved back, he moved back but a different town again, and he finally moved to P’ville after he and his second wife split while living in Grand Junction, CO. I had moved back to P’ville from Longview, WA shortly before that. Then, a few years later, we both were divorced and both were living at my mother’s place. It worked for everyone since she had plenty of protection from a couple of big boys (Steve’s 6’3” and I’m 6’2”) and a large house that the boys took care of.

 For reasons that I still don’t totally understand, Steve simply wasn’t familial. I don’t know what that was about. He was not at all interested in being a brother or anything else. Granted, we didn’t have a lot in common but….hey…..he could have invited me to go fishing with him in his boat.

 Holidays, for all intents and purposes, didn't exist with him. He didn’t attend family functions (few as there were) and didn’t attend the local music functions (though they were plentiful). I can sort of understand that since he had been a talented musician until he cut the fingers off of his left hand and could no longer play. In fact, he was a better bass guitar player than I am and I had a head start on him! But, you can’t just hole up and work on the world’s best moon tan and expect success.

 I don’t know…..I just don’t get it. I still don’t know my brother and still didn’t have much of a connection with him. There was just no way to get inside his corral…..just no avenues of communication available. I would have loved to have my brother back but it didn’t happen.

 I had him back for a short time, come to think about it. He had spent a couple of weeks in the hoosegow (an English version of a Spanish word. For years I thought it was ……Chinese!) for being a bad boy (he finally outgrew that). His time in "school" humbled him and was part of the family for awhile. The humility quickly wore off and he was back to being a disinterested sourpuss and curmudgeon in training.  His world never changed.

 Well….I suppose I’ve gotten that off my chest. Thanks for listening. I still wish that I could have said, “Good-bye” and let him know that I cared.

 It’s HOT here in the Valley. No big surprise there. We’ve racked up some blazing days in times past so we feel normal even at the 103 degree mark. We don’t like it….but we do accept the reality of the matter and add another ice cube to the fire and stay in front of a fan.

 That hot part isn’t the hard part; the hard part is the drought. We have plenty of water but the politicians and Enviro-Nazi’s refuse to pump water down from the Sacramento Delta to this area because…..are you ready for this?..........some of their precious Delta Smelt …..FISH …..will die (it’s supposedly on the endangered list)!! Now……watch the math on this: they could easily just set up a fish hatchery and breed millions of their stupid smelt….millions of them!! It wouldn’t cost all that much!! Instead….they’re withholding water from much of the Valley and it will cost BILLIONS of dollars and food prices are going to skyrocket!! It’s that simple!! Since it is that simple, then obviously, the drought is natural but the “water shortage” is man-made. It’s engineered and it’s so obvious as to be sickening. To hold us hostage because of a fish is nothing short of evil.

 Kalifornia now has so many tree huggers, fish huggers, homo-huggers, and insanity huggers (they love their nuts) that sane people (and their businesses) are leaving the state in droves. That would be people like dear friends of ours who are moving to Florence, OR and who had to call a moving company. Can you imagine their shock when they were advised that the move would take much longer than they thought because the moving company was struggling to catch up with demand?  

To make matters worse and to help destroy the trucking industry, the Dems now have a new law requiring older trucks to have emission control similar to that found on personal autos. Since the new equipment will cost about.....GULP.....$35,000 per tractor/truck, most guys are throwing in the towel and retiring or changing professions. Apparently, a large number of these trucks are part of the moving industry and the new laws are making a mess of things and killing a large part of the industry. This, just as engineered, is leaving ...another shortage and a huge .....rise in prices.....right when we don't need them (the shortages are stacking up...a real "ko-inky-dink", right?). Few states are as hostile to business as California. But, that's how socialists (anti-capitalist and therefore anti-business) deal with things. 

So many people are flooding out of the state that it’s frightening and has spurred the state legislature into considering some sort of “action”. What “action” am I talking about? Get this….they’re actually talking about a “moving penalty” (of course, it’s not a “tax”…uh-huh) to penalize business and people for leaving!! 

What’s their thinking? It's basically, “They are leaving to avoid….’paying their fair share’ (their openly published wording)…..so we will fine them for leaving”. 

California, it has been predicted by the those gentle folks, the demographers, will be Caucasian-free in fewer than 50 years. That will leave the state to those "southerners" who are dependent upon the government for everything and all will be well in the new socialist police state (my, my. Another coincidence). Those meddling white folks (you know; those who expect the government to obey the law and to protect them as is their oath of office) will be gone and there will be peace in the land. All of California will be a new "Tijuana by the Bay" (my....I can't wait).

These are, of course, Democrats, making all these rules and engineering our course to oblivion. The Republicans have had little power in the state for a long long time. It's not unlike Detroit or Chicago: you can't blame Republicans for anything since there aren't any. What few we have show up and keep their seats warm but are as about as noticed as a lesbian in downtown LA.  

Even Arnie wasn’t a real Republican (can you spell, "RINO"?). The fact that he was married to Maria “Shrew Girl” Shriver should have enlightened even the dimmest bulb. You would have thought that having to buy her a new broom every year to ride into town would have prompted him to dump her for a real wife.

Arnie was a “Fiscal Conservative” (and not a really good one, at that); after that, he was purely Democrat. He openly stated his views on politics and none of it was concurrent with conservatives or Republicans (which is exactly why he got elected in a state afloat with Marxists). Not being from this country, he told us to our faces that he found no reasoning or way that would lead him to save California from the tsunami of illegal aliens and did nothing to save us from utter defeat. Thanks, Governator, but I don't like stiff cheese.

 Can you imagine: trying to legislate people’s movements and strong arming them for changing locations?! That’s how the Communists in Russia and China do things!! That’s so far from Constitutional that even the very thought of such a thing should earn you a few days in jail! Yet…that’s the norm from the White House down to the local level. 

In that same true Marxist fashion, Obama is, yet again, circumventing "we the people" and "taking care" of the immigration reform matter by executive order and bypassing Congress altogether. We the people have spoken....we don't want his immigration reform which will allow ten million illegals to be here legally and givie them full access to our country (including voting so that the Democrats will never again lose an election) and the equivalent of full citizenship without having to be naturalized!!!!

 Long-time Torrance, CA business, Toyota USA, is moving to Texas where sanity is closer to being normal.  They’re taking their tax dollars and jobs with them. No one is filling their shoes so far, either. Sheese….this rant is starting to sound like I should have posted it on “Randy’s Rant Roost”. I used to post my stuff there but have left it unattended for too long.

 Speaking of Torrance, We had the grandkiddies up for a few days. That was nice. It’s not often that we have 5 youngins overlowing the house. They had a blast! I taught the two eldest kids to drive my Ford 8N tractor. The eldest boy, 11, is a natural at just about anything he does. His sister, almost 10, is the same. She’s absolutely fearless when it comes to doing new things. She will not allow her big brother to overshadow here in the slightest!! Being fearless is also the best way to stay alive on a tractor. She owned that tractor and broke it like a bronco.

 I wanted them to drive the lawn tractor too but it recently suffered a mechanical issue with its starter. I just ordered another one online. By checking around a bit, I was able to save more than 50% on the price (and that including shipping!). One of these days, we’ll hook up the boat and take them all boating and fishing.

 We’ve had the boat for a couple of years now and haven’t even gotten it wet. I don’t recall what it costs to register the boat but it isn’t all that much. A fishing license, on the other hand, is dreadfully expensive! If you include a “second rod” endorsement/ticket, the cost for two licenses is 126.00! That’s ugly. Crazy!

 Add to that the fact that we have more than 100 rods and reels and tons of tackle and you have to scratch your head in wonderment as to what Ol’ Ran is thinking. In fact, I’m scratching my head in wonderment as well! I just picked up another 4 beautiful rods and reels that have hardly been use and they’re the nice expensive ones too! How could I pass up almost 100 dollars worth of fishing gear for ten bucks?

 The “tons” of tackle is hardly an exaggeration. I’ve purchased much tackle online. However, the real deals come from yard sales. At one particular yard sale, there were two tackle boxes loaded with good stuff. Next to it was a coffee can full of extraneous lures, hooks, swivels, and the like. The guy wanted 25 dollars each for the boxes and whatever for the coffee can. I asked him if he would take 40 bucks for both boxes and, after a bit of hemming and hawing, he said, “Yes”. Then I asked if he would toss in the can full of stuff and he said, “Yes”. He couldn’t believe that he said, “Yes” to both proposals and was shaking his head as to why he took the deal! But, he took the money and I took the tackle.

 At one sale, I saw a milk pail full of reels. There were ten level winds, and three closed face reels. All had mud on them but Ol’ Ran knows that a bit of soapy water will take that right off. The reels were the “real deal” and included Abu Garcia Ambassadors, a Shakespeare, a Diawa, and even Shimanos! I asked the nice lady how much she wanted for the entire bucket full of stuff. She mentioned that she really needed to get rid of those things and said, “How about a dollar for the lot of them?”. I almost broke a finger getting to my wallet! She threw in the pail, too!

 For now, we’re storing the rods and reels in the rafters upstairs in the barn. There seems to be sufficient space up there to do that. Otherwise, they are certainly in the way. I’ve overhauled a few of them and have them ready to go fishing ……some day.

 One problem is that, due to the drought, there’s no water in the river. The Tule is at “zero flow” again this year and things are not looking good at all for the trout. I like baked trout but not when the cooking is done on the river rocks and the sun is providing the heat! We'll go fishing in the lake since it's only a few miles from here.

Speaking of “heat”, it’s supposed to be up to 106 in a few days. So far, we’ve managed to get by in the 80’s and 90’s and even some of that had a bit of breeze added to it. That meant that we’ve only had to use “Ol’ Swampy” the evaporative cooler and not the watt-guzzling A/C units. We’re OK with the swamp cooler until the temp hits 100 or so. Things get ugly really quickly then and we turn on the A/C. I refuse to melt when I have options.

 Anyway…..that’s what’s happening at Rancho Relaxo. Thanks for everyone’s thoughts and prayers. More when I can.

Rancho Revivo

Well! Look who's back!! Lovey Dovey hijacked one of Connie's pansy baskets in which to begin her next efforts to insure that Rancho Relaxo has no shortage of doves. Bless her little feathery heart!

You almost can't see her but she's in the far basket with her head just barely visible.



Here's one of Lovey Dovey's babies. He sat in his nest wondering what happened after his momma and sibling flew the coop. He sat on the wheel barrow (15' from his nest) for about a half hour then, he too, took wing.

From left to right: Pastor Paul Breski and his wife, Sherry, Pastor John Appiah of Ghana Africa, Pastor Henry Aguilar of the Springville First Baptist Church, Sis Connie the Canner, and Pastor Brother Cousin Rancho Ran at the Porterville Free Will Baptist Church. We all like to refer to ourselves as the "Chicken eatin' neck huggin' Baptists".

Well.....I'll BEE! It's Pastor John Appiah and Ol' Brother Ran in their space alien outfits! If you get an outfit you can be a space alien too! John had never seen bee hives or bee suits (or probably better, "sting prevention suits"). He helped check out the bees and saw the wonderful honey in store. We gave him some to take home to his family. He couldn't put the stuff down!

Pastor John (aka "Pappa John" "Pappa" being a social status in Ghana) ministering. He taught Sunday AM (here), and Mon., Tues., and Wednesday evenings. It was our first revival meeting in over a decade. It will not be our last one.

Pastor Roy Bradford of Roseville with Pastor John Appiah.

It has been a busy month here at the Rancho (yeah. I know…that’s real news).  There have been many things experienced and a few things accomplished. But, the highlight has been the honor and privilege of hosting Pastor John Appiah from Ghana Africa in our home for a week.

Pastor John was my host when I went to Ghana. I had met him almost ten years earlier and had finally gotten to go there not quite two years ago. Now, it was time for him to come here and that has been a true blessing, to be sure.

 We picked up Bro. John in Kerman (ten miles west of Fresno) at Pastor Roy Bradford’s father’s home. I had known both he and Roy since about 1993 in Longview, WA. Roy and I had ministered together up there and his dad, Lee, was there from time to time and ministered as well. Kerman is a bit more than half way from Roy’s so that was the closest practical place to “midway” that there was. From there, we came back to Rancho Relaxo so that Bro. John could …(ahem)…relax… for a couple of days prior to ministering in our church. And, minister he did.  

 However, we didn’t come straight home. No, siree. It was lunch time so we headed straight to the “Home Town Buffet” situated at the far north end of the “Manchester Mall” on N. Blackstone Street in Fresno. I mean, just how could we not take our dear brother, John, to lunch at a “Home Town Buffet”?! It would be an understatement to say that we didn’t leave the place hungry.

 A week prior to the revival events, Connie and I had contacted Bro. Henry Aguilar of the Springville First Baptist Church to see if he would interested in having Bro. John speak and minister to his congregation. He was delighted at the prospect and immediately had us invite Bro. John to speak in their Sunday evening service! Then, he even invited us all to their Saturday afternoon picnic at Bartlett Park! Boy! Did we ever take him up on that! Few folks can swing a picnic like the Baptists and we at the Porterville Free Will Baptist Church can attest to that! We were not going to pass that one up! And, after the church service that Sunday evening, Bro. John invited Bro. Henry to Ghana! Would you believe that Bro. Henry had wanted to go to Africa for a long time?! We’re calling that one a “God thing”, to be sure!

Our Sunday morning service was excellent and our folks loved Bro. John and welcomed him like a long lost cousin. It was beautiful. After a super service, we treated him to a great pot-faith lunch at our fellowship hall. Everyone got to chat with and learn about him and his travels. It was grand!

We finished the revival with Bro. John ministering on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings. His ministry was recorded except for Monday evening when the computer program crashed and the recording was not recoverable (can you spell, “GRRRRRR”?). After a nice day off on Thursday (well, mostly), we loaded the Rancho Hoopie on Friday morning and headed to Roseville for that evenings meeting at Bro. Roy’s church.

 Bro. John ministered on both Friday and Saturday nights. I was then privileged to speak on Sunday morning and then Bro. John spoke again on Sunday evening. After Sunday morning's service, we had “hugs all around” and blessed one another then Connie and I departed for the Rancho.

 Roy and Bro. John will continue to minister on the streets of Roseville and in church for another week until time for Bro. John to head back east again. Bro. Roy and his wife, Liz, are planning a trip to Ghana in September to minister with Bro. John and his people. Perhaps we can remember them all in prayer that the fullness of the will of the Lord be done in all things.

 Are we sad that our African brother is gone? You bet we are. Bro. John is a servant of the Lord, a man who waits on the Lord and is led by His Spirit. He was a blessing the entire time he was here. I have met few men like him and it is a rare privilege to get to know him and receive of his ministry to America and to his brethren here. Yet, we are rejoicing that the Lord is prospering him and opening effectual doors of ministry in every place. The Lord willing, Connie and I will, in due season, take up the invitation to go to Ghana together to minister there. We didn’t have peace about her going the first time but it may be that she can go this next time. We will wait upon the Lord as happened the previous trip (I waited 7 years).

 On the trip home, we had to drive through Fresno. It just so happens that one of our favorite supermarkets is on West Herndon not far east of Highway 99. That would be the “WinCo” market and we did take awhile to knock that place over. Unlike the last time around we still had daylight and it wasn’t nearly closing time. Previously, the two travelers were already tired but after shopping that late, we were almost immobilized.

Actually, we made out fairly well this time and only hauled off a few things. The previous time, a few months ago, we could have used “Wooly Pully”, the little 5’ x 8’ trailer. We stuffed things into every nook and cranny of the Hoopie like she was a well laden buckboard wagon. This time I majored on getting coffee that I just can’t find anywhere else (or that I’ve already tried everywhere else). It was a real treat! They have a “WinCo” in Longview, WA and that’s where we first encountered them. Put “WinCo” on your list of “must go” places. You’ll be glad you did, neighbor.

Guess who’s back? Lovey Dovey! Only about a week after her babies fully fledged and flew the coop, she parked her feathery body on the same nest by the back door! We had wondered if doves had more than one brooding time per year and it looks like that they do! For some reason, after only two days, she found the previous nest uncomfortable or what all so she switched from the back porch to the front porch. She set up camp in one of Connie’s hanging flower baskets and called it a day. We can hardly wait to see the little fuzzy babies sticking their heads with their punk hairdos out from under their momma! It’s not likely that Connie will be able to water her pansy pot while the birdie is there so she will sacrifice the flower for the cause.

Connie’s long time friend, Aubrey Cassidy, and his wife, Sandy, came to visit from Florida! They come to the west coast from time to time to see friends and relatives on the way. She met Aubrey while he was in the Navy and she was working at the Naval Exchange in San Pedro back in the late ‘60’s. Her brothers are all friends with them as well so they stopped in Kingsbury, TX to see Roger too. We made a point to knock over the “El Tapatio” restaurant here in Springville for lunch while they were here.

We are in the throes of a drought here in the land of fruit, nuts, and flakes. It’s pretty severe and will likely cost the entire nation since Californy is the breadbasket and milk producing kings of the country (and you thought it was Wisconsin that was the milk and cheese capital. I don't recommended that you apply for a spot on Jeopardy). The Ol’ Ranch is looking pretty brown and it’s not even summer yet! Guess Ol’ Farmer Ran will have to put on his rubber boots and grab the hoses and sprinklers again.

My day already starts around 6 AM or so (I prefer the “or so” part and can get away with it once in awhile). But, it appears that I’ll need to change my clock to 5 AM so that I can at least get a start on drowning our drought. At least we do have irrigation water….for now.

Stay tuned for the next episode from Ol’ Rusty Ran and his sidecook, Dusty Connie and their adventures here at the Dust Bowl Ranch. There’ll probably be some canning going on.   

Rancho Springo

Meet "Lovey Dovey". She's our new neighbor and hopes to raise her young here.

To the right is "Maggie the Wonder Dog" doing what she usually does....watching the world go by an inch at a time. Notice the raised hackles, ferocious stance, and glistening fangs all set to defend her turf. Between her and the Lord, we feel pretty safe.

To the far left is garden box #1 then #2. #3 is barely visible to the right and #4 is in the rear. Box #2 is also bearing a thriving crop of Bermuda grass. Guess what will be happening on our next day off? Did you know that some of those grass plants have roots 12" long?!

A little better shot of box #4. We just reloaded with 6 bags of fresh compost.

This is actually the neighbor's pomegranate tree but he does all he can to ignore it.....so do we.

This is the #3 box but looking from the other direction toward the back of the house. It is filled to brim with strawberries. Yes...they do taste wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful. That's a small apple tree standing guard. Notice how it leans into the job thereby showing great interest in its charge.

Box #1 with its newly planted tomatoes. Connie has since planted many more tomatoes. A friend just gave us a bunch of his "volunteers" from last year's crop and he had no room for them. We have them. Look out, canning jars!

These are the peas in box #2. Connie is pea'ing all over the place. There are more to come so we'll have a continuing harvest for awhile. It won't get cold here until mid-December so stuff grows on and on. We had tomatoes growing almost until Christmas last year.

Can you spell C-O-M-P-O-S-T ? We're trying to do our best to feed our dirt so that it's not just dirt or just compost; it's SPAYSHAL dirt and compost. Uh-huh. This batch was from Lowe's.

Our bees be happy. This is the "Leaning Tower of Beeza" in case all you unlearned individuals didn't know. They are all happy and healthy that we can tell and the ant issue has been permanently resolved. We placed the legs of our pallet/stand in coffee cans half filled with water and oil. Works every time. I haven't checked for honey yet but since the bloom has been decent, my guess is that we will make out like Pooh Bear this year.

The pole barn with "Heffalump" the big white trailer in the foreground. The aluminum fishing boat, El Rafto, is next, and the "Ranch Rino" is after that. The last stall is supposed to be for the little trailer but there's just too much STUFF blocking the way. I'll have to get a man right on that. Looking south towards the back of the barn.

Here's the ex-burn pile. You can see how it did a really professional job of blocking the sunlight and protecting the dirt from getting any vitamin A or other nutrients. A few passes with the scraper and the stage will be set for a healthy patch of dirt. The oranges in the rear don't look too badly after having been abused for awhile. I need to get a man right on that issue too.

Aqui....Senora del Rancho Relaxo. She was covered from scarf to sandals in garden materials so I was tempted to call her "Dirty Connie". I thought better of it.

The "Jack" of the shack: an ICOM IC-R7000 VHF/UHF receiver. It's a beaut. It awaits but the erecting of the antenna, a spot in the shack, and someone to read the manual to program it. The position of "King of the Ham shack" is reserved for the soon-coming Ham radio HF transceiver.

Even our carport anchors are blooming! Ain't it great! Leave it to "flower child", Connie!

Just "peachy"!

The wishing well near the front driveway.

It's a good thing that our house isn't for sale. The walk up would sell it in a heartbeat! We got flowers!

 

Well….spring has sprung and it’s mucho greeno around here (at least for awhile). It’s actually pretty in these parts in the spring. Those folks who move to Springville (named after an artesian well and not the season) from other parts of the country in the spring realize in a few weeks that they are on another planet when the sun comes to town. We have to take pictures and glue the memory of verdant hills to our noggins because this glory will fade only too quickly. If we had no such hope for a new spring next year, we would all move to someplace better like Oklahoma or the Serengeti.

 This is also to say that we’re in the middle of a drought. It’s not the only drought that Kalifornia has experienced. But, it is one of the worst ones. Our rainfall for the season is the 7^th driest on record. What rain that did fall was so meager that we had to stand out in it for an hour to get wet (well….maybe not that long but it seemed like it).

Despite the hardships, we do have “critters” here. A glance around the place shows the place crawling with coyotes, bunnies, worthless yard-mining pocket gophers, frogs, snakes, an occasional bear, deer, goats, cattle, dogs, cats, bees, ants, and worthless, stinking, hole-digging, garden destroying, plum eating, pestilent, lousy, furry, ground squirrels. We call these vermin, Rancho Fuzzers. They make for great target practice but you can’t eat the buggers. They are making our property look like a molybdenum mining operation. I’m looking for some C4 and caps to help with the matter.

 These bugs and buggers are so prosperous that I can’t help but think they’re all on food stamps. In Kalifornia, the food stamp program is simple: if you can show up, you can load up. And…..you don’t even have to speak …..English (which is why the coyotes are grinning when I see them, I suppose).

 Connie has been up to her armpits in compost, plants, and seedling starts. She loves showers so all is well. Also in the ground are her bell peppers, a Mexican province full of tomatoes, and even her peas. "Ol’ Pea’in’ Connie", we call her. Has kind of a nice ring to it, eh? I’m wondering what would happen if she planted leeks so she could…..take a leek. Well…maybe not. I’m wanting to say that I would probably have to buy back some of my body parts from the Gypsies if I got involved with that gig. In any event, there will be no end to the canning of love apples and our salsa supply will be unlimited! Zowie!

The strawberries are already set and prospering. The zucchini should be ready for the dirt shortly as will be a few other items that can be canned or frozen. Nothing like fresh veggies when making a nice hot soup.

 

We have a new “pet” at the ranch. She’s a cute little gray dove! We call her “Lovey Dovey”. She and her mate built a nest right at our back door on the steel shelf rack that we have parked there. There are a couple of items we won’t get to use for the duration since she’s camped on top of them. I’ve got options and back ups though. We haven't seen the male bird in awhile. If she starts collecting food stamps at our address, we'll know what happened.

Of course, we don’t just crash our way out of the back door since it opens up only a few inches from her nest. So, we just slip quietly out and she just sits motionless on her eggs. We know what she’s thinking, though: “Don’t look at me. I’m not here. My camouflage is working well and I’m invisible. You can’t see me…..don’t try to touch these eggs, you big white gorilla! You don’t even want to see me when I’m mad! I’ll rip your head off, peck your eyes out, and then I'll hurt you!!”. 

Spring has seen another improvement: the “burn pile” that we’ve been babysitting for four years is finally gone (never do today what you can put off until next season, I always say). More accurately, it has been me doing the honors since Connie declined to be part of the job. She said that it had something to do with me being more qualified at trash tending or words to that effect. Did she just call me “trashy”?

A friend and neighbor of ours hired a gent to haul off some stuff and recommended him to us. He has a pick-me-up truck with side boards and a trailer so we hired him to remove the pile to help alleviate our suffering (and I wasn’t getting paid to baby sit piles of anything). It worked out a lot better having him do it, I should think. I was almost dreading the fiery blaze and huge column of smoke and seeing me with my hose flailing about trying to douse the mess with a 5/8” garden hose. It was easy to envision a nearby oak tree turning into a flaming signal flare for the fire department to come and haul me off to the rubber room.

At dear Connie’s behest, I converted the second story family room back into a second story family room. It had been an overflow area for the computer shop and had been overtaken with…growth. Hey, you’d be surprised to know just how fast computers and eBay items can multiply! Anyway, the area is livable now which is a good thing since Pastor John Appiah from Ghana Africa is going to be staying with us for a week or so in May. He’ll have the huge bedroom up stairs in which to camp and won't have to stumble over a bunch of computers, parts, and pieces.

Little by little the office/radio shack/fishing tackle depot in the barn is starting to look less and less like a wrecking yard and more and more like a usable space. The warming of days is now seeing a laptop in place on the big office desk and it is replete with a nice three- piece set of powerful speakers. A printer is staged for installation. Nearby and nearly ready are the VHF/UHF monitors/scanners and the short wave radio equipment.

My big 25 amp and smaller 5 amp power supplies are ready for use. Just need to coordinate the equipment. I may just run a mobile CB unit from the smaller one and hook it to a mobile antenna for now.

The short wave gear consists of a Kenwood R600, an old Realistic DX-440 receiver (it works great even though it’s 25 years old!), a sweet Tecnam PL-660 portable multi-band S/W rig, and a 15 year old Realistic DX-380 multi-band S/W AM/FM receiver (it's small but quite a performer). I use a couple of powered S/W RF amplifiers to feed these guys. I would like to set up a big high performance general coverage receiver some day soon and string a nice long-wire antenna to it. After that will be the Ham and CB radio station. If I can mount my discone (sic) antenna, I’ll haul out my big Kenwood IC-R7000 VHF/UHF receiver. That big baby is something else! The place ought to look like a space station any day now but Connie was wondering if that was a good thing. I just told her I didn’t know. It’s probably a cry for help.  

Ideas abound for antennas but mounting them is not going to be an easy task. My G5RV dipole will need to be strung between the gable of the house to the gable of the barn. That may not be viable since the coax cable will be hanging down half way and will be in the way. A nice trapped vertical antenna gable-mounted on the barn is a good idea but that may not happen due to the barn architecture. The gambrel roof is probably too steep to mount antennas on and it isn’t flat at all on top.  I may have to erect a tower alongside the barn and shove a beam antenna way up high. From there, I can string other antennas. A ground-mounted vertical is a possibility but, there again, the logistics are limiting the matter. We’ll see. It’s amazing; we have two acres to work with and no room for an antenna farm. *SIGH*. What is a communicator dude to do?

A client recently upgraded his computer system and threw all of his “old” stuff at me (I had sense enough not to duck). It included a really really nice three piece set of speakers (now in the radio shack) and I was perplexed as to why he would part with them. I’m blessed so I didn’t argue with the nice man. He also tossed a large and expensive flat screen monitor my way too! Expensive large screen monitors are my friends!

This big baby is a square one and was replaced by a new 16 x 9 format screen. However, the big square ones are required when someone is using a graphics program and need to keep the proportions correct (the 16 x 9 format doesn’t always do that and things may get skewed a bit). I have a big 19” square Sony similar to it and a few of the smaller ones so I’m good to go with graphics and such.

The Ranch Rino is getting a new battery soon. Ol’ Rancho Ran forgot to ready it for the winter and it croaked (silly me). After that, it will need a bit of work on the exhaust manifold so that the neighbors in Springville, Porterville, Strathmore, Lindsay, Exeter, Farmersville, and Visalia won’t be complaining of the noise. The plan is to use the drag scraper to level off the area where the burn pile was and cover up the ground squirrel burrows. Have I said how much I hate ground squirrels?

Connie has the place flowing with flowers. She’s quite the …um….flower girl, don’tcha know (I could be cruisin’ for a bruisin’). It’s so flowery that it’s a bee’s paradise! In fact, our bees are happier than ducks in a new pond! She’s going to make sure that the Ranch is pretty but also so our bees won’t forsake us in favor of better digs. That also means that we won’t run out of that marvelous Rancho Honey any time soon.

Our front porch and railing area are lined with flower pots bursting with colorful flowers and the anchor bowls for our car port are filled with happy pansies. She has other kinds of bloomers but it would be difficult to recount them for now (read: “Brother Ran wasn’t paying attention so he doesn’t know”).

One of our yearly jaunts in spring is to head up the road a piece (but not a fur piece) and take the Yokhol Valley Road from 6 miles north of Springville into Exeter (30 miles from Springville). The route is most scenic as it meanders through the foothills. But, it’s much more so during the springtime when the wildflowers blanket the hills almost like snow. Most are white or gold but the purple lupines decorate the roadside with much zeal.

Usually, we take a zillion pictures of the beauty and glory (OK! OK! Maybe not quite that many…but not by much). This year we may not go because of the drought. Most likely there will be a lot of flowers but it would be difficult to imagine there being the glorious splendor of previous years. Who knows….we may take the back road to town before too long or the glory will be gone altogether. This place is just plain ol’ Melba Toast dry by May. It was 91 degrees today!

Stay tuned. More to come from El Rancho Relaxo De Tortuga, a designated “Sweat Free” zone.