Things are settling down somewhat due to only dealing with the two oinkers and a single princess pooch. We're going to make it easier yet as soon as we can. A couple of vehicle issues have kept us on our toes, though. To compensate, we've made a point to take at least a short siesta once per day if at all possible. Siestas are much more productive than merely taking a nap, dont'cha know. We can't yet explain the science but it seems to work for us. But, you just know that having such a regular break is a pretty much a pipe dream around here. It's a start, though, and it's greatly appreciated.
The really lousy part of this wonderful cool weather is that it will all be concluded in only about three weeks from now. In fact, we're already starting to get faded green areas in places and even had to use the A/C in the Coop de Ville a couple of times!!. We were lamenting that fact only a couple of days ago. We have that same lament every...single....year. At least the fog was at a substantial minimum this season.
There is a chance (though a pretty slim one) that we may take the Yokhol Valley drive again. That's something we haven't done in 5 or 6 years. It's a marvelous round trip of only about 65 miles (which is about the same distance from Ranch Relaxo to Bakersfield). It takes us six miles above Springville then over the hill and down to Exeter where we sometimes stop for lunch. The ol' cameraman usually shoots a ton of pictures (400 on one occasion!) and is ready for a nice burger or taco break. The scenery and landscape is phenomenal from any angle. But, it only lasts for perhaps a week then the glory fades as does any beautiful rose. We'll see.
Anyway, the Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho (which doesn’t even come close to meeting modern industrial standards) nestled in the beautiful vibrant green foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Thanks for stopping in at Dirty Bird Central, the ex-chicken ranch being run by two old turkeys.
(click on pictures to enlarge)
Even though the snow level dropped to about 2,500' and Camp Nelson got 3' of the white stuff, we didn't get any of it here at the rancho. In only a couple of days, the weather warmed and all low-level precipitation ceased for the season.
Contrast the cooler nicer winter picture with this flashback photo from a couple of summers ago. This is smoke and haze from on the nearby fires. The picture is shot from the same place behind our house. The entire area smelled like smoke for days. Lots of complaints because any wash hung out to dry smelled terribly.
This is an actual old tow truck based here in Springville. It's owned by Roady's Towing downtown.
We really hadn't planned to let our front yard turn into a silage crop. It got ahead of us when the rain caused green things to explode in growth. Thankfully, things are back to normal. The lawn was mowed and the weed-eater was put to work. The back yard is a huge mess but that should be straightened out soon.
This good friend and brother, Jerry Hall, and his band, "Trick Shot". Jerry is on the left, then bass man and singer, Bill Hughes, then lead guitar player and singer, Randy Fowler. They are a C&W fixture in this area and have been for decades. Theyh do have a drummer but he wasn't needed for this particular gig.
They've played all over including at Buck Owen's "Crystal Palace" in Bakersfield. I remember dancing to their music in 2003 at what was then "Carrows" on Highway 190 at Jaye St. (now Denny's). Not only are they a great entertainers with great music, they're great guys!
Here they are playing at "Sierra Hills" retirement center on far west Henderson where my mother lives. She invited us to see them and we were quick to accept! They did a super job and everyone had a swell time!
Here's our two Kuny-Pot Belly cross piggies, Piglet and Squeeler. Piglet is the black and white one. They are noshing on a box of whacked up veggies of all sorts and kinds. They seem to have stomachs that are larger than their bodies. Can't quite figure that out. I've never seen when they are hungry and begging for chow. Seriously.
But....the Ol' Rancher is getting out of animal husbandry and taking a break from feeding ravenous critters. It's a lot of work that I haven't been complaining about until now. It's just too much work to haul 6-16 boxes of blemished and out-dated veggies to our chow-wrecking crew twice per week. A main issue is that someone has to cut down and then load the boxes into the trailer and haul them to the dump. They're worse than rabbits and proliferate at about the same rate or more. That's a $25 hit to take them to the dump. It doesn't take long for such activities to eat a hole in your wallet. So, it's time for the piggies to go. The chickens went last month. There's a gent who will be taking them off our hands and will be returning them as completely transformed into BBQ sized slabs.
Tip Of The Day:
"You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice"
And, now a word from our sponsor:
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Rancho Report
Well, I'll be hornswoggled! It’s March…again! If that doesn’t just keep your skillet good and greasy, it’s only 297 days until Christmas! Moving along.....
One of those days or One of those days
Sometimes, you just have "one of those days". That just
happened. We had one and it was a doozy. The day started out as originally planned and, by noon, most of nothing had been accomplished.
By the end of the day, the remainder of nothing was finished. It wasn’t that we weren’t trying:
not at all. It’s just that we had this interruption then that interruption. If it wasn't a long phone call, it was some sort of challenge with Wooley Pulley, the trailer, or having an unexpected run into to Hooterville (a two hour tie up). After that, another exigency barged into the timeline. By day’s end, we were worn out and too tired
to lead a banzai charge. Our ability to tend the ranch had been displaced by
some sort of activity or another; nothing got done and we were a day behind. *SIGH*.
The next day was better.
Gnats to You or No Fly Zone
From time to time, we get a lot of produce and fruit at the rancho. That's a good thing. But, once in awhile, some sort of fruit may get left in a bowel on the counter and that's when things get... interesting. When this happens, nature simply does what nature does. It kicks into high gear and make sure that all of the gnats in the county get a text message that there is fruit ripening at Rancho Relaxo. The bugs come in from clear across the county. We know this because there can't possibly be that many gnats that show up from just this one small burg in the foothills.
Well...you just know that Connie the Canner is a real "no bugs, m'lady" gal and her kitchen is a "no fly zone". It just isn't allowed. Zero tolerance. “You die!”. She's been seen tracking down a fly with a hand towel and whacking it into oblivion. She has a sign on the back door with a large fly on it that's being squashed with a swatter that says, "Don't even try!".
So, you can imagine what happened when she found a gaggle of gnats swarming around some over- ripened fruit on her counter! She didn't go full Seal team but she did have her combat boots on! Armed with a tea towel, she managed to significantly reduce the gnat population. All of that swinging scared the rest of them into hiding. It was that way for about three days until the last of intruders were sent crashing down in flames. There will be no more ripening fruit on the counter. No...not any.
Piggie report:
The Ol' Rancher is pretty much over the piggy vibe. The rancho just isn't set up or configured correctly to account for pigs. The Henhouse Hilton is now a piggy palace and that isn't a good thing. It was drying out nicely when…it rained the most that it has rained in the previous 4 months. Now, the coop is flooded again and the mud is just as deep as it has ever been and it's barely less polluted than the Ganges.
Wanna guess who gets to wade through all of that? My....but that's fun. Burying your overalls in a hog bog really isn't a good practice and slipping and sliding isn't either. The weather will be warm soon so "this to shall pass". In any case, the porkies have to go and I’m getting’ hungry for ham steaks.
As bad as the Ol' Rancher wants them gone, the piggies are only 5 months old. Since they are a Kuny-Kuny and Pot Belly cross, they are a smaller pig. This means that we wouldn't get all that much meat. However, it costs us very little to feed them (though it does cost in time and money to haul off all the boxes the feed comes in (8 to 16 boxes twice per week). In a couple of months, they'll be much larger and we can get more out of the deal. But, the rancher is tired and needs a break. We'll see.
Home Home on the Range or Some Like It Hot.
Our big beautiful vintage O'Keefe & Merritt range has had an issue for a few months. That's a real stressor for Connie the Baker when she has no oven in which to bake her goodies! The issue was that the oven wouldn't come on even though the pilot light did stay on. The thermocouple was replaced which should have resolved the matter: it didn't do that. That meant that the oven safety valve was faulty. Great. The OEM replacement valve was...gulp....$375.00 (free shipping. Ain't that nice?)!! We tried to find a substitute but that ended up as a big flop. What can you do but grab a 45-70 buffalo rifle bullet and bite it.
When the new valve came in a month later (due to being back-ordered), it was installed with a new thermocouple. Connie the Canner breathed a sigh of relief. The pilot light was on and steady, the new thermocouple head was properly positioned in the flame, so the gas valve button was pushed. What could possibly go wrong now since everything was shiny new? The sound of gas was presented and a match was lit and the oven came on. After 20 seconds or so the red safety button was released and ......the oven went out. That happened three successive times. Great. That really was a poser since all oft the parts involved were new. Ovens are pretty simple critters and you don't have to break a lot of brain cells when dealing with them.
"Grapevine Sally's" was called for tech support (that's where we go the new valve). The owner of the place was quite cordial and willing to help. After apprising him of the situation, he was stumped, too. Great. Two stumped mechanics are not better than one. The only thing he could suggest is purchasing the longer 48" thermocouple recommended for the "RoberShaw" OEM safety valve. UGH. That didn't make sense because "a thermocouple is a thermocouple". However, the Ol' Rancher has always stood by a modification of the deductive reasoning used by Sherlock Holmes. Holmes says: "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth". The Ol' Rancher's version is: "When you have done everything except what the more experienced guy than you has recommended, just shut up and take the recommendation".
Taking his advice was wasn't a blow to my ego but it was a blow to my wallet. A new 30"-36" thermocouple is about $12-$15. The 48" thermocouple recommended by "Grapevine Sally" is....$48.00 plus tax and shipping. Ouch.
Here's the good news. When the solid gold thermocouple came in (ok...maybe it was only gold plated), it was immediately installed. The magic red button was pushed on the valve and the match was lit. The oven came on as expected. The button was held for about 40 seconds and released and......the oven stayed on. Done deal!
Connie the Baker put the oven to work straightaway! Since then, it has hardly had time to cool down!! Don't think the Ol' Rancher didn't enjoy the freshly baked biscuits!! Whoo, Doggies! Everyone at church go a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies, too!
Wiring Wooley Pully or Let there be lights
The wiring on our trusty trailer ended up being compromised when,
after a brief encounter with the high spot in the church driveway, the wiring connector got wrecked (long
story). It needed to be dealt with ASAP since we use it to haul piggie food and
chicken chow in it (such foods being one and the same).
So, the other day (when lots of things happen around here),
a determination was made to fix the dang thang (no relation to the small berg of
the same name in Vietnam). However, after a mighty large chili dog, potato salad, baked
bean, and potato chip lunch, no one at the ranch had the energy to proceed with
such a demanding project. It was doubtful that we could have handed out cotton candy to the kids. So, it was siesta time at El Rancho Relaxo de Tortuga.
After sleeping off the post-prandial fatigue, we woke up but still weren’t banging on all 8 cylinders. That meant that we probably needed
a “Cereal Nap”. Now, to the underinformed, a “cereal nap” is when you wake up
from a nap and have yet to discover enough energy to continue on with the day. In
such cases, you simply eat a bowel of cereal and go back to bed for a back-to-back
nap. What a grand idea!
Just as the Ol’ Rancher and Connie the Canner,
were ready to succumb to the Sirens of slumber, the stupid clock happened to
present the time right in front of my blurry eyes; it was late afternoon and it
wouldn’t be long until sunset would deprive us of enough daylight to continue
with the wiring gig. Yes, there are large LED lights that can be used but night
time also brings chilly weather with it. Chilly weather can wait. Warmth is our
friend. Nevertheless, the same old 45-70 buffalo rifle bullet was bit again and the wiring project continued into the sunset.
FYI: bullets really don’t taste good but an ol’ rancher has to do what an ol’ rancher
has to do.
Is that the end of the story? Nope. Not at Rancho Relaxo where, you just never know. The wiring harness was expertly repaired and the shrink tubing was in place and tidied up. The trailer was hooked up to the van and the lights were turned on: no trailer lights! Great. Enough is enough. There would be no further troubleshooting that day.
A couple of days later, the task was re-addressed. The entire female wiring harness was rebuilt and all of the trailer wire was inspected (I just love to lie down on a creeper and crawl around under a trailer, don't you?). The job couldn't have been done better. What happened? Did I mention that this was Rancho Relaxo where.... you just never know? Nothing happened, that's what!!
OK... more troubleshooting. The fuse block diagram was obtained from the Internet and the fuses were checked. No blown fuses. That means that the relay may be blown. Before it gets pulled, the male connector, though inspected and seemingly without issue, will be replaced (thereby eliminating another possible issue). The connectors are fairly cheap (about 7-8 bucks each) and it'll only take 30 minutes or so to rewire a new one in place. I have one in stock. If that doesn't work, the relay is the culprit (thanks, again, Mr. Holmes).
So....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo (aka “Dos Acres”): home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else); together we are the Yo-Yo twins who are always having to return to the rancho for something: home to one duck that we try to keep in a row (which is difficult since he's retarded): where the air always smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to us, and where...you just never know.
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