Friday, December 5, 2025

RANCHO MUY FRIO (VERY COLD RANCH)

 

Welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for December. Well...it's another surprise since this month's edition isn't late. It's amazing what happens when you give a little effort to being ahead of the game. Things aren't quite as hectic around here now that the weather has cooled down. In fact, it's almost too cool because it takes forever for the water in the chicken coop to evaporate. It's actually dangerous in there because water and waste make for ice-like floors. That ain't good! In any case, we haven't run out of things to do around here. There's lots to do what with family, church, computers, chickens, and challenges of all sorts. 

It hasn't rained....again....but, we are having some of the usual winter "high fog". That's a lot better than the "Tule Fog" that can get really nasty at times (especially in the mornings and evenings and along Highway 99). I've driven in fog so dense that you have to stick your head out of the car window to listen for oncoming traffic because you can't see them. Really....who wants to be T-boned by an idiot who blows through the stop signs at your intersection?! Thankfully, we've only had a couple of mornings with "regular" dense fog. 

Anyway, the Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho (which doesn’t even come close to meeting modern industrial standards) nestled in the dang-near-close-to-being-truly-green foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains (come on rain!). Thanks for stopping in at Dirty Bird Central, the chicken ranch being run by two old turkeys.

Click on pictures to enlarge





I'm still not at all sure why we were recently targeted by a mass invasion of turkey vultures. Rancho Relaxo smells but....not that badly!









To the right is a view of Interstate 5 coming down the last hill of the Grapevine. 

Here's a shot of breaking out into the valley. To those of us who live in the San Joaquin Valley, it's a very comforting sign that we are getting close to home. 









This is another attempt at the Ol' Rancher's "awful ice cream art". I'm not sure if I'm just naturally awful at art or I'm a brilliant artist who uses great talent to skillfully make such awful art. This one is called: "The Really Cool Soul Singer"....who has many personal problems. I tried water colors but...they just don't taste as good. 











This is an early morning shot of one corner of a small cemetery near Rancho Relaxo. We came to visit Connie's parents' graves. You can tell that we live in the foothills.  





Tip O' The Day

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose. But, 

you can't pick your friend's nose. (anonymous) 


And, now a word from our sponsor:

This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “Gertie Gordon's Gladded Gibber Gobbers”. Now, these are the best “Gladded Gibber Gobbers” that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better “Gladded Gibber Gobbers” anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of “Gertie Gordon's Gladded Gibber Gobbers” at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Save Mart, Quick Mart, Rapid Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!

Well, tie me kangaroo down, sport! It's December...again...so soon! Doesn’t that just make you want to head to Oberpfaffenhofen and dine on kartoffelpuffer?! 91.6 percent of the year is gonzo! If that doesn’t just put cracks in your plaster, it’s only 19 days until Christmas!! Moving along.....




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