VERANO EN EL RANCHO (SUMMER AT THE RANCH)

 

Welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for September. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! (best Gomer Pyle). This edition of Rancho Relaxo is on time! I would have thought that Musk would have been on Mars before that happened!

We trust that all y'all are enjoying the fact that .67% of this year is over with and that things are going well on your part of planet Earth. This month's issue is actually on time despite the fact that things are still rather hectic around here and the dust usually never really settles (less dust on some days than others though we kick up as much as we can). We keep on truckin' though we're riding a trike. *SIGH*. 

Things are still as dry as buffalo bones on the prairie. There have been a few small grass fires locally but we've been spared the devastation of massive forest fires this year. California is fighting 20 fires as of this writing. It appears that the entire west third of the US is on fire but we are extremely thankful that we're not having to huff smoke all day, day after day.

Anyway, the Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our dry-as-garlic- toast humble rancho nestled in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Thanks for stopping in at Dirty Bird Central, the chicken ranch being run by two old turkeys.

Click on pics to enlarge

This is "nostalgia month". Let's run through some vintage Rancho pictures. 

Here's a batch of new chicks from about ten years ago. Every time we say that we aren't going to raise chicks, their fluffy cuteness overwhelms our logic and we cave forthwith. These are probably the buck apiece chicks from the feed store and are likely to be Rhode Island reds. 

This is Maggie "the wonder dog". She was an amazing faithful pooch that we still miss even after ten years. She was so low maintenance that it was unreal. Her preferences were opposite of most doggies. She preferred to sleep on the ground or patio concrete than in "Maggie's Mansion" (the big new dog house). She loved her "Maggie bones" which were simply large dog food treats rather than wet/canned dog chow. She had a box of them from which she would saunter over and grab one whenever she was hungry. We only had to keep her "bone box" filled. 

The toy in her mouth is "Maggie's lips". She was a hoot. She rarely barked and loved all visitors. 

This is "Lovey Dovey" who, for three consecutive years, faithfully brooded her clutch of eggs either on the front porch of the on the patio. Here, she's nesting in one of Connie's hanging flower planters. Even when we exited through the back door, she never flinched or abandoned her nest. After three years, we didn't see her again. 

This is about ten years ago when pastor John Appiah, from Ghana West Africa, was visiting the rancho. We haven't just stepped off a UFO. We're wearing bee suits and checking the rancho bee hives. We still have bees but haven't harvested any honey since the first couple of years. Why? It's a TON of work!  We'll get back to the honey business when the need is greater than what our tired airframes can handle. 

This is our "Rancho Rocket" not long after it was built many years ago. It has a 1.5 hp Honda motor and will crank out 20 mph even if you're in a hurry and have a tailwind. It gets about 75 mpg. It's still in the back yard under a tarp. The carburetor needs to be flushed but, other than that (so far), she's rideable. 

This shot is also about ten years ago. It's Grandma Honey with a couple of newbies in the family. 

Here's the six pups from Abbie's first and only litter. They are an interesting mix of Walker Treeing Coonhound and Australian sheep dog. Believe it or not, once they were weaned, it only took a week to find homes for them. One family from Bakersfield actually took two of them!

Speaking of Abbie, here's our loveable pooch not long after we got her from the former owners in Visalia. She's about six months old here. She has napping down to an art here and she's not forgotten any part of how to do it perfectly. 

Having an espresso machine at Rancho Relaxo is no secret. In fact, it's a staple. We've had two big beautiful Breville  espresso makers and a really nice Klarstein espresso machine. Add to that, we have had numerous small espresso makers that got worn out over time. 

This little guy is a super neat vintage "Benjamin and Medwin" stovetop espresso maker. Good friend and brother, Jackson Wallen, loves to collect such things so I gave it to him. 

Yes, it does snow here. Every 20 years or so, we do get a bit of snow in these parts. This shot is from several years ago. 

This is Connie the Canner's big healthy 22 quart pressure cooker. We call it "Puffer Belly". This thing has done a lot of work in the previous ten years or so. The only things bigger than this big beaut is our water still for purifying water and "Big Bertha", the freeze dryer. 

Here's a couple of shots of Morro Rock at Morro Bay, CA. Probable from about ten years ago or so. Once in a blue moon, we head to the coast and spend a couple of days taking in the fresh ocean air and knocking over the fish and chips places. The latest excursion was earlier this year but we are way overdue for another trip. It's only about 160 miles from our front door so there's really no excuse not to go on over there and cool off. 

Tip O' The Day: 

"People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing" (Will Rogers)

And, now a word from our sponsor: 

This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “Oona Olson's Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers”. Now, these are the best  "Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers” that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better “Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers” anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of “Oona Olson's Ooder, Oomer, Ooper Oozers” at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Save Mart, Quick Mart, Rapid Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!

Rancho Relaxo  Report: 

Well, put that ol' gray bonnet on and bake my biscuits brown! It's September! And, it's only 113 days until Christmas! *SIGH* Moving along........

This is still an amazing summer! It has only been until this previous week that we had any really hot weather. The temps in the AM had been in the low-to-mid 60's then climbed to the low '70's. The daytime temps have jumped to 103 degrees. The good news is that the heat is supposed to drop in just a few more days. And, the drop will be significant. Instead of having to endure triple-digit heat, we'll be having October weather in early September! Cool!! Of course, we all know that weather is fickle so things can change within a few days. We'll see. 

The spice of life:

The other day (when lots of things happen around here), I had 5 rosemary starts and some "grass" clumps (probably chives) that I put in a 10”pot of water with just enough water to cover the root balls. The thought was to use hydroponics for a few days so they could hydrate and then they could be put in smaller pots with some fresh potting soil.

Imagine the surprise a few days later when it was time to replant them only to find them deader than a snollygoster while the grass was growing and prospering!  It may have been that they were root-bound but they surely weren't water deprived. As crazy as it sounds, it looks like being in water didn't help the matter. There is likely going to be more of those so I'll change my evil brown thumbing ways and try something else and hope that my great ideas don't kill any more of them.

Chickening report:

And, on the sixth day, God also made chickens. And, God said, “It is good….finger lickin' good!” (the Book of Third Randy).

The Ol' Rancher has to admit that dead-and-deep-friend chickens are his friends: such good friends that he and Connie the Canner just about wore out a local "Funky Fried Chicken" store in Porterville when they ran a chicken breast special for $4.99. At the special price, you also get a dab of fake mashed potatoes (about four tablespoons), a tad of fake brown gravy (about three tablespoons), a biscuit (my, but they're good!), and, of course, your choice of regular recipe or crispy. 

We went there at least three times that I can think of and were going to do it again. But, it was Wednesday and they were having a country fried steak special for $5.99. So, we got that instead. If the chicken special is still current when we get back to town, we may just up and do the special again! "Always pamper the old people", we always say! 

As for the living chickens, they are all doing well and are happy and healthy scratching and screeching for a living.. We are still getting a regular supply of wonderfully tasty farm-fresh eggs, too! Of course, the girls are getting a great balanced diet so that helps. There are a few ideas that have been floating around to help supply them with more protein but there'll likely need to be a....day off....so they can be implemented. 

When the coop was built, it was solid and ready to do the job we desired of it. However, over time, the chickens have modified the ground extensively for their personal dust bath needs and other scratching requirements. So, the ground is no longer level hardly at any place in the coop. Add to the uneven ground the potential for flooding and the place just isn't at all safe. In fact, it may qualify for a hard hat and hip boots zone. This means that you have to enter the chicken coop with the caution of a bomb disposal expert. It just ain’t safe in there! Ask me how I know!!

Several years ago, the coop had been flooded and had not totally dried out. For whatever the physics and chemistry (I'll let you guess), when you add water to a chicken coop, the floor becomes exceedingly slick. Then, there are obstacles to consider. There are two 4' long "A frame" chicken roosts, a 5' tall roosting tree, a large cage, a 4' x 3' hutch, an 8 gallon water tank, and a couple of hanging feeder cans that are mostly used for flooded environments when you can't put food on the ground. Then, there's the water hose which presents itself as a snaky snare to the unwary. Add a few extraneous items like spent corn cobs and you have a real tangle of a mess. 

So, the ol' chicken wrangler was carefully wending his way through the deeply muddy coop when, in the blink of an eye, he went down hard between the two "A frame" roosts. It felt like I had been body slammed by Hulk Hogan! That was a nasty lesson to learn so you can bet that all caution is used so that the chronologically-gifted chicken dude won't be found in another muddy heap and wailing for help. 

Ham Operation Report: 

After weeks of trying to establish communications on the 40 meter ham band and to confirm that my transceiver was fully functioning on the 10 meter, 15 meter, and 20 meter bands, a solid contact was made on 40 meters with Canada station, VE7WG, about 1,000 miles away. I was running an ICOM IC-706MKIIG at about 50 watts to my 19' roof-mounted vertical. We had reciprocal signals which confirmed that my station was functioning nominally even though it's stuck in a "bowl" surrounded by hills and mountains on three sides. 

The issue had been that few operators were even on the air. The one's that were on the air didn't seem to hear my signal and it just didn't make sense at all. This time was a holiday weekend and there were a lot of operators on the air so a contact was made. 

The bet is still that the horizontal dipole will out perform the vertical by a considerable amount but more so on the lower bands (40M-80M-160M). We'll see. Things are coming together but slower than "Lightning", the janitor, on "Amos and Andy".

The VHF/UHF modes are functioning well. The Comet dual-band vertical antenna is still earning its salt. That's a plus. So, that's the latest from station WA6IXI. 

There you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo (aka “Dos Acres”): home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else); together we are the Yo-Yo  twins who are always having to return to the rancho for something: home to one duck that we try to keep in a row (which is difficult since he's retarded): where the air always smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to us and where...you just never know.

 

CLIMA AGRADABLE PARA AGOSTO

Welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for August. We trust that all y'all are enjoying the fact that half this year is over with and that things are going well on your part of the planet. 

This month's issue isn't really much closer to being on time than the previous issues. That's because things are still rather hectic around here and the dust usually never settles. We're still keeping both oars in the water but sometimes it's a bit tough to do that when you can't find where you placed the oars. *SIGH*. 

The Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho nestled in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Things are so dry here they're thinking about outlawing anything that can make a spark so folks don't accidently start fires. Reckon we'll just have to get used to eating sack lunches. And, it seems that "crispy grass" is the new green. What shall become of this?! 

Success Lake has been drained well past the half way point. We know that the state is allowing the water to disappear. Unfortunately, and acknowledging the fact that our ranchers aren't getting enough water, we can't prove that it's going to them. It's strange that the government would rather waste this precious commodity than allow us to grow crops with it. Nevertheless, local folks have enough water left to get wet in and  pull their boats and barges down to the lake for a good time on weekends. We get our irrigation water straight from the Tule River and not the lake so all is well. We just need for the Ol' Rancher to get off his duff and break out the hoses and give the place a good soaking. But....that's a lot  like....WORK! 

Oh, one more thing. "Clima agradable para Agosto" means, "Pleasant weather for August". 

Thanks for dropping in at Rancho Relaxo, the chicken ranch being run by two old turkeys.

(Click on the pictures to enlarge)

This is the current temporary station configuration for WA6IXI. The transceiver is an ICOM IC-706MKIIG. It's a slick little rig that covers all of the Ham bands and VHF/UHF as well! A lot of guys run it as a mobile unit but this ol' Hamster is happy to run it as a base station. If there is a need for it in the van, it takes no time at all to hook it up. It runs from 5 watts up  t o 100 watts output power. It heats up pretty quickly when running that much power, though, so the power setting is usually at 50 watts output. 

For 2 Meters and 440Mhz, it's paired with a magnetic mount dual-band VHF/UHF antenna on the roof of the van (the Coop de Ville). For the 10 Meter band, it's hooked to an 11 Meter/CB antenna then tuned with an antenna tuner. 

The 25 amp power supply is that big black box at the center left of the picture. It can handle the big ICOM IC-735 transceiver that's not being used for now (not pictured). You can see the 10 amp power supply in the center right hand. It powers my Yeasu 2 meter mobile unit and the CB transceiver as well. 

At the top of the picture is an MFJ-949E antenna tuner. For now, it's tuning a 5/8 wave 11 meter vertical antenna which (amazingly) can be tuned down to the 80 meter ham band!  To the right of the transceiver is my "Ham Key" (brand name) fully automatic code key for CW operations. As soon a couple of obstacles are overcome, I'll have the 60' crank-up tower guy wired down so my signals will be maximized. I can then hang the big beautiful 105' off-center fed Windom horizontal dipole up high. 

Here is the big beautiful replacement for Big Bertha who was tired of having to work for a living and who just up and quit. We just ran or first batch of strawberries and this big baby was up to the task. Not only that, it has 7 trays instead of 6 so it actually gets more work done than the other box! I can dig it!

 This one doesn't have a name yet so we're counting on friends and family to perhaps toss a few suggestions our way. Maybe "Heffalump" would work. 

 

Tip O' The Day: 

"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut" (Will Rogers)

And, now a word from our sponsor: 

This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “Vernie Venson’s Vutted Vigger Vampers”. Now, these are the best “Vutted Vigger Vampers” that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better “Vutted Vigger Vampers” anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of “Vernie Venson’s Vutted Vigger Vampers” at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Save Mart, Quick Mart, Rapid Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!

Rancho Relaxo  Report: 

Holy guacamole, Batman! It's August...already!! If that ain't that enough to sink your sampan, it's only 138 days until Christmas! *SIGH* Moving along........

This has been an amazing summer! I don't ever recall being here during such a cool and enjoyable summer season! The temps in the AM have been in the low-to-mid 60's and the daytime temps have fluctuated between high 80's and low 90's. As a rule, we hit 95 degrees during the last week of May then it gets hotter from there and triple digits is then norm. 

I know that because that was when it was warm enough to brave the snow runoff in the Tule River. Some of us knuckleheads could then ditch class and head for "Oly Hole" on the Tule about 1.5 miles above Lower Coffee Camp. Not all that scientific but close enough when you're a senior in high school and are pretty well tired of school by then.

 Anyway, the cooler temps allowed a fishing trip or two that wouldn't have otherwise happened. Of course, the earth moved (or something) and the proper seasonal temps are pouncing on us with a vengeance. Tomorrow's daytime high is...104 degrees...and we're all bracing for the impact. Wheew! At least we got a really nice break for a while. 

Tehachapi: The other day (when lots of things happen around here), we had to go to Tehachapi, CA for a funeral. Connie's cousin, Mike, passed away so we really needed to be there. Due to miscommunications and such, we arrived quite late to the cemetery but not so late as to miss the core cousins. It was good to get to see them again. Almost all of our other cousins have "gone home" or are in other states. 

Other than that kind of event, we don't have a connection with Tehachapi. That said, you do have to go to go to Tehachapi on purpose because it's a small town that has been bypassed by the new Highway 58 which is the main east/west highway out of the southern San Joaquin Valley. The highway used to go right through downtown which had an affect on businesses there. 

There are many towns that are no longer noticed because the main highway bypasses them. Some of them are not much more than the proverbial "ghost town" and some have even ceased to exist (e.g. Route 66). So, they need all the help they can get. Even so and thankfully, Tehachapi has remained notable for no few things. 

One is that there's a big prison about 8 miles west of town. I know. I know. That's not something that necessitates a lot of bragging but it does add to the local economy and it has made the town a very lively, healthy, and pretty place. In fact, the place is thriving!

Since I hadn't been to downtown Tehachapi in 20 years (I drove right past it on the new bypass highway many times) it was almost a shock to see the changes! What a great little town! It gave me pause to remember things that I had long forgotten like.....they made a movie there!

Some (as in, some of us really old people) may recall the 1967 Walt Disney production "The Boy Who Flew With Condors". It's a true story about a local Tehachapi teenager who learned to fly sailplanes. The filming took place at the Tehachapi airport. Later, one of the leading cast members (none of whom were professional actors) built the sailplane airport 2.5 miles from the Tehachapi Municipal Airport (KTSP) . 

You can tell that the movie was filmed a long time ago before the California Condors were almost extinct. Here's more about the film as told by the local newspaper (https://www.tehachapinews.com/lifestyle/pen-in-hand-the-boy-who-flew-with-condors-when-a-tehachapi-teen-starred-in/article_b62d185c-8565-11ed-b7a4-a7213feb4fe0.html).

Less than a year after the release of the movie, I met one of the pilots who flew one of the camera ships. He related that he was flying in the famous "Sierra Wave" while piloting a Piper PA-18 Super Cub. He stated that he was flying in an updraft with the aircraft pointed vertically down with full throttle and his VSI (vertical speed indicator) was only showing 200 fpm downward! Other stories tell about pilots in WW2 who would feather the props on their fighter aircraft and soar like a glider in the super waves. One of the planes was a twin-engine Lockheed P-38!

There are other points of interest like the "Norbertine Canonesses of the Bethlehem Priority of St. Joseph" (try saying that with a mouth full of peanut butter) also about 8 miles out of town. But, truly, it's the town itself that's worth the price of the ride. Check it out on Google Maps and take a virtual look at the cool places to eat, shop, and visit they have there. They even have a train museum. 

And, if you're ever on Highway 58 and have a few minutes to work with, check out the Tehachapi Railroad Loop about 3 miles west of town (Google Maps). It's only about a mile off the highway. This is where you can watch a train loop around and then crossover itself. It's the primary railroad track out of the south valley so it's always busy. 

Some of the "quite mature in age" may also remember the 7.3 Tehachapi earthquake that happened in 1952. I was a teenager in the '60's and folks were still recalling its devastation.   

Golden Corral: To get to Tehachapi from here requires transiting Bakersfield. This is a good thing because, when you pass through Bakersfield, you must return using the same route. Would you like to guess which favorite all-you-can-eat-buffet is located on West Ming Ave in Bakersfield? YUP! Colden Corral! 

It was actually a toss up between Golden Corral and Zorba's on N. Chester in Oildale (think: buffet vs great burgers and fries). Zorba's has been a favorite of ours since the late '90's. Not having eaten the morning of the funeral left the Ol' Rancher rather "hongry" (much like "hungry" but with emphasis) so Golden Corral won the coin toss. Old people are (mostly) practical. It was great that the old fork flinger remembered to not eat until he made money but he really did eat too much. 

Ground sick: Speaking about flying, I really need to turn some cash into noise by burning some 100LL aviation fuel. I’m getting “ground sick” (sick of being on the ground). There aren't any aircraft for rent between Bakersfield and Fresno. So, the Ol' Fly Guy can't rent a plane and head to the beach. It's doable but, by the time you drive to Bakersfield, "wake up the plane" (i.e do the preflight inspection/walkaround and such), fly for an hour or so (at 200 dollars per hour), then put the plane to bed, you spend half a day for a one hour flight. It's tough to whack a half a day out of our schedule. 

It really is a hoot to just pack up the plane, fly to Oceano, pitch the tent and camp out near the ocean. Or, fly to Kern Valley Airport at Lake Isabella and spend the night at a rustic motel in Kernville where there are lots of fun things to do (including eating, of course). I've done these things but there's no law that says I can't do them again!

I spent a lot of my youth with my feet off the ground, my head in the sky where the sun shines (other times my head was parked in another place where there is much less sunlight) and wending my way through the footless halls of space. It's a natural element for me and it's greatly missed. Plus,  I remember all of the really great planes I've gotten to fly or fly in.

One of my favorites is the WACO YMF-5 biplane. She sports a 300 hp Jacobs radial engine. You never forget the rumble of that powerful round engine throbbing in your soul. I was getting checked out by "Attitude Aviation" in Livermore (the instructor was Rhett Butler...you have to love his parents). I hadn't flown a trail dragger in a long time (and certainly not a big ship like the WACO) so, after a few hours of instruction, we switched to a Super Decathlon so I could get back up  to speed. Others are the Howard DGA-15P from the 1930's. Bennie Howard was a race pilot who built a number of these big babies. The DGA-15P has an even bigger round engine on it. It has the big 450 hp Pratt and Whitney R-985 brute motor on the nose. I'll have to check the "N" number but I think the one in the picture is the same one that I got to fly while in Memphis, TN. It belongs to a FED-X pilot who is a friend of Connie's brother (who was a FED-X pilot). Another is the Meyers OTW. The one pictured (I took the picture) is owned by Connie's brother, Roger, who lives in TX. 

Other memorable ships include the Christen Eagle, the Decathlon and Super Decathlon (the Super is my pick. Great ship!), Champion Citabria (biannual flight review), the venerable Piper J-3 Cub (at least three of them), Piper PA-18 Super Cub, Piper PA-38 Tomahawk, the Aeronca Champion (7AC, 7DC, 7EC - a true favorite. Many hours in them), Aeronca 11AC Chief, Ercoupe 415, the North American T-6/SNJ (flown from the rear seat),  Bolkow 208 Junior (left seat), Beechcraft King Air B200, Aero Commander 500 (twice), Meyers 200, Mooney M20E-Super 21, left seat), the North American P-51 Mustang (the aircraft pictured is "Ridge Runner" and is the same plane I flew in back in '87), Boeing B-17 (a birthday present from Connie. The one pictured is the same aircraft I got to fly in), Max Holste Broussard (similar to the DeHaviland DHC-2 Beaver. Flown from the right seat),  Vans RV-4 (two of them), Vans RV-6A, Cessna 195 (many times), Ryan PT-22 WW2 trainer (rear seat stick time), the Evektor Sportstar light sport plane which I LOVED to fly, the Globe Super Swift, Luscombe 8A, Luscombe 8E (my first fifteen hours of instruction were in these two birds), Cessna 310P (think Sky King), Piper PA-23 Apache, Piper PA-20 Pacer, Thorp T-18, and even the Challenger II ultra-light ship. 

This list doesn't include the less-memorable planes that still are a great joy to fly: the Cessna 150 (I've flown a handful of them. I may get to fly the "straight tail" model in the near future), Cessna 152, Cessna 172 (at least six that I remember), Cessna 175, Cessna 180, Cessna 182RG, Cessna 177 Cardinal,  Cessna 206, Cessna 210, Piper PA-28 Cherokee 140/150/160 (at least 5), Piper Archer, Piper Comanche (180 and 250), Piper PA-30 Twin Comanche, Piper 235 Dakota (my high-performance endorsement), a Beechcraft Bonanza (three that I can recall), Twin Beech Baron (two that I recall), and a twin engine Piper PA-44 Seminole (took my multi-engine training in one at the Long Beach Airport). 

Note that I wasn't PIC (pilot in command) on some of these birds but I did get to fly them from the right/rear seat. I didn't log any of the time. On some of them, I was a wide-eyed grinning passenger. 

Guess you could say that the Ol' Wingnut likes to fly. Thanks for bearing with my "sentimental journey" (you WWII bird watchers will catch that one). Reckon they call that "nostalgia". 

Wrapping it up: Well, the chickens are chickening, the doggies are dogging, the freezers are freezing, the refrigerators are friging...frigging ...um....refrigerating, and the freeze dryer is doing its thing. We're moving along albeit somewhat more slowly than we'd like but all is well here at the ranch. 

So....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo (aka “Dos Acres”): home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else); together we are the Yo-Yo  twins who are always having to return to the rancho for something: home to one duck that we try to keep in a row (which is difficult since he's retarded): where the air always smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to us and where...you just never know.

RANCHO RELAXO POR JULIO

 

Welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for July. We trust that all y'all had a great and peaceful Fourth of July! We stayed home and rested (well, actually, we stayed home and finished some of our 'home work"). 

This month's issue is much closer to being on time but things are still rather hectic around here and the dust usually never settles. We’re still busier than Abbie trying to get to a lizard hiding behind a fridge on the patio. 

The Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho nestled in the toasty brown foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. We're somewhat tempted to be envious of those folks who think they are suffering drought conditions after 22 days without precipitation. This actually happened to me when I was living in Longview, WA. We experienced a three week period without rain. The local newspaper was in fear that their beloved green region would be converted into a desert within mere days. I think they were toying with the idea of buying water from Canada! 

Anyway, our lake, Success Lake, is full to the brim and our local folks have pulled their boats and barges out and waxed them up and are ready for the summer days ahead. We have plenty of "ditch water" for irrigation around here, too. My trees need a big drink of water prior to the scorching heat that's sure to hit soon.

Thanks for dropping in at Rancho Relaxo, the chicken ranch being run by two old turkeys.

Click on pictures to enlarge them.

We do chickens here! We're getting plenty of eggs as of late so there's no shortage. That means there's no need to increase the size of our flock at this time. However, there was a brief thought as to whether or not we would allow two or three of our girls to go "full chicken" on us. It would be only too easy to end up with 20+ new chicks in about a month. And, we have four cockerels who are quite the happy lot to be tasked with preserving the flock. But, for now, we're just too busy to chicken sit that many chicks because they need to be in the house until they get big enough to be transferred to the small hutch within the coop. After four or five weeks, they would be introduced in the general population. Maybe later when it cools off. 

This is one of our feathery pretty boys and it's his turn to be the cock o' the walk and ruler of the roost. I really don't think he'll get as large as Ol' Henry the Henbanger II but he is the real deal rooster and he rules with confidence. The other cockerels bow their beaks when he's around. 

Meet the new "baby" in the family. It's a vintage Takamine G530. Frankly, I like the "Taks" but I've never run into one that usable for Bluegrass music. I toured with a Bluegrass band so, for me, a guitar has to have a certain bright-but-deep tone to it. My vintage ('87) Martin D16M and vintage ('72) Yamaha FG-150 both fit the bill very well. But, this baby has what it takes! If it hadn't displayed such brightness, it would have been on Craig's List in a heartbeat. This little box is a keeper! 

Oh, I forgot to mention the price. We were at a yard sale (natch!) and the nice lady there had had it in her closet forever. She had a new love interest and knew that she was never going to get around to playing guitar. She just wanted it gone. The price of "gone-ness"? 40 dollars!! Zowie!! The vintage Fender Precision bass guitar was stowed and the new git-box was parked on it's stand next to my Yamaha and my Fender Telecaster in the living room. She has a new set of medium D'Addario Bluegrass strings on her, too. 

 This shot doesn't do the scenery justice.  This pic was taken on Ave 138 less than a half mile from Reservation Road. It's looking north toward Success Lake. When you enlarge the picture (click on it to enlarge), you can see the top of Shafer dam just above the top of the trees in the foreground. You can see the spillway gate control structure at the left on top of the dam. 

Ave 138 is the road that goes by "Golden Hills" trailer home park and then over the hump and on to Reservation Road. 

Welcome home, Big Bertha!! Actually, this is a replacement freeze dryer since our machine needed parts that had to be shipped in from the outer rings of Saturn. So, "Harvest Right" gave us the option of taking a refurbed machine instead of enduring an insufferable wait. We accepted the deal and have yet to open it. Setting up the machine requires the same muscles and brawn that shipping it out took so we're gluing together the reinstallation dynamic as we can (where are all the strong young backs when you need them?). We just got a couple of large boxes of green bell peppers so we can't wait too long to get rockin'. One more thing: Big Bertha was a 5 tray all-black box. This new one is a 6 tray stainless steel box. We're keen to see and use the differences. Having the extra tray will be neato since it will help with the work load. Let the freezing begin! 

We hope you don't mind but we just had to brag a bit on grandson, Jeffrey, and his sharp looking western wear git up. He's a fine young man and we're mighty proud of him! 

 

Tip O’ the Day: “Always remember; it’s the pilot that arrives at the scene of the crash first” (anonymous but probably not Church Yeager)

And, now a word from our sponsor: 

This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “Jolly Judy’s Jaggie Jally Joogers”. Now, these are the best “Jaggie Jally Joogers” that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better “Jaggie Jally Joogers” anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of “Jolly Judy’s Jaggie Jally Joogers” at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Rapid Mart, Quick Mart, Save Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!

Holy frijoles, Batman!! It’s July already! Half the years is over with! If that doesn't just beat the band, it’s only 173 days until Christmas! No wonder I'm seeing more gray in my beautiful thinning brown hair! On with the show.....

Chickening Report:

Egg production was down for a while and for whatever reason other than starvation. We pamper our birdies no matter what (meaning that they are quite well fed). So, when we only get a few eggs, we can’t help but wonder why. There was never a satisfactory reason so we just told them that, if egg production didn’t start ramping up, I would see to it that they all fit nicely into a hoagie roll at "Subway". It must have worked because they straightened up and started laying right. Our production skyrocketed. That was mighty pleasing, to say the least. The weather may have had a part in the matter but probably not since our spring has been exceptionally and wonderfully temperate. 

Feeding time is always the same. They start with a large scoop of chicken scratch and/or layer pellets which have a bit higher protein content. After that, they get large boxes of produce trimmings from a local supermarket. Talk about a balanced diet! They get fruits and veggies galore. There are also the leftovers from our dinner table, too (the doggies get the meats and a bit of fat once in awhile). 

To get to the back of the coop where the layer boxes are, I need to very carefully wade through the bird herd. It's a bit of a jungle gym in there what with all the chicken roosts, watering cans, and such. They think that the live in "Starvation Heights" so they crowd around me looking for even more chow than what has been brought out. I've had to learn to do the Hen House Hop and the Chicken Schmidt Waltz to keep from mashing one of them. Even though care is taken, it isn't uncommon to hear a screech from one of them when they get a foot hung under a big rubber boot. No chickens have been harmed so far. 

Not cold; not cool or Reefer Madness

Not long ago, but longer than the other day, one of our refrigerators started getting warm. The ice box part on top was fine. "No worries", says I. That presentation has been seen before at the ol' rancho. The protocol is to first haul everything out of the top box and into awaiting ice chests. After that, you use a blow dryer (a heat gun does a better job in less time) to melt the accreted ice which builds up in the channel(s) between the upper and lower boxes. 

After that, you just restack everything and all is well: except when it isn't well. In this case, the bottom box refused to get cold. That didn't make me wave flags and dance for joy at all. The next step is to take everything back out (that's fun) and pull the (inside) back part of the freezer compartment off. Then, you defrost the condenser coils and whatever has ice on it: screw the valance back on and your good to go. 

This time, rather than restack everything back in the freezer, the fridge was left alone to see if it would function nominally (a thermometer was parked inside). It didn't function nominally. Great. A couple of other fridges were cleaned out and stuff was tossed that had been stored too long ("Here, chick, chick, chick!"). That way we could fill the space with the goods from the ice chests. All of this scrambling around was just so much fun. 

But, wait, folks; there's more. The next morning, one of the fridges into which we tossed a bunch of stuff wasn't getting cold enough in it's fridge part but the freezer was fine (the same presentation as the other fridge)! We unplugged it after removing its innards and putting them wherever we could. The next day, we plugged it in and waited for it to cool down. But, it just didn't convince us that it was going to spare us all kinds of time and money to deal with the matter. By this time, you can guess which two residents of the old folk's home were fed up with dealing with refrigerators. 

We looked a "Lowe's" online and found a nice 22 cu ft GE fridge that we liked and headed down the hill to take a look. Long story longer, we found a deal on a 15 cu. ft Whirlpool (Hobart) upright freezer and bought it too. This one will replace the freezer in our garage that conked out after only 3 years (Kenmore which is now Hobart). As it turned out, they could deliver it the next day!! Is that (ahem) cool or what?! 

The next day found us setting up the new boxes and shuffling stuff from fridges and ice chests (after the new boxes had cooled down). The only downer was that we had to wrestle the old boxes out of the way. I didn't take "appliance wrestling" in school on purpose but it had to be done. 

Finally, we had a new fridge and freezer. No more reefer madness and grief and headaches at the ranch. Now, that's cool. 

Ah, but this is Rancho Relaxo where....you just never know. Two days later, the big side-by-side coolerator n the garage started getting warm on both sides despite the temp control being on the highest setting. This wasn't a good thing because we still had stuff stuffed in it from the prior refrigerator self-extinction events. *SIGH*. 

Well, it was "off to the races".... again. The big ice chests were once again positioned and filled then ice was tossed in to keep things as cool as possible for the time being. With that chore, the old folks began to ponder the next step. Obviously, reefer troubleshooting protocols were implemented so the ol' self-powered drill was jerking panels and flashing off. The big heat gun was roused from its rest and employed to eradicate any ice accumulation in the air passageways. Then the it was plugged back in while the old folks retired for the evening having a bellyful of the joys of troubleshooting. 

The next morning....no joy. The box was DOA. It was Sunday morning and we needed to get to church. What to do?  Previous experience has shown us that it actually costs more to repair a fridge or freezer than to buy a new one  (gee....I wonder how that happened?). So, there was no decision to make other than to go get another fridge. 

Since we had to go to town for church anyway, we decided to just duplicate our previous purchase. So, after church, we headed over to Lowe's and checked to see if they had one in stock. They didn't so we went home and ordered the thing online. It'll be here by next Saturday, July 12. Hopefully, with two new big ice boxes and a new upright freezer, that'll be the end of the shortage of coolness at the rancho. 

Well....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo (aka “Dos Acres”): home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else); together we are the Yo-Yo  twins who are always forgetting things and having to return to the rancho for something. We are home to our one duck that we try to keep in a row (which is difficult since he's retarded). Our home is where the air always smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to us and where...you just never know.

Rancho Junio Extraña

Welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for June. This month's issue is much closer to being on time but things are still rather hectic around here and the dust usually never settles. We’re still busier than a coon dog with a pound of hot dogs and three buttermilk biscuits.   

Anyway, the Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho nestled in the pining-for-green golden foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. We've had no, and expect no, rain for a long time. Our rainy season is gonzo so we don't get our hopes up at all. The other side of the high Sierras did get a couple of thunderstorms 30 miles east of us which will keep the fish happy in the Kern River. The Tule River is stocked with trout and Lake Success is full to the brim thanks to a new spillway  (our tax dollars at work). The plan is to go fishing on my next...day off.

We've been spared any major concerns so, tired as we may be, we're quite happy to be here with all body parts in place and at least functioning  (to whatever slow degree). The chickens are laying, the dogs are barking, the Freestar is running like new, it's yard sale season, so life is good. Thanks for dropping in at the Rancho Relaxo happy huevos industrial complex. 

Click on pictures to enlarge them

We needed to go to our hangar at the airport so I stopped by here when I saw this little cutie sitting outside a familiar hangar. This is a "straight back" 1961 Cessna 172 that has the four cylinder 180hp Lycoming O-360 upgrade with the constant speed prop. It came stock with the six cylinder 145 hp Continental O-300 and a fixed pitch prop. It's also the first year that 172's came with a swept tail. This is one of the sister ships to the 172 I used to rent from "Del-Air" (that's their sign on the hangar in the background). Adding the extra 35 hp makes that ship really want to fly. They are difficult to see but the wing has "wing fences". These, along with the "bat wing" wing tip additions, help maintain stability when the airplane is nearing stall speed. I think the stall speed is lowered a couple of knots, too. While not a true "STOL" aircraft, these are really nice additions to the plane. I loved flying that fast and sweet plane. One favorite place we flew to was Oceano Airport (L52): only one hour away in the 172. I vaguely recall posting that trip on the blog many years ago. That 172 was sold several months ago and "Del-Air" no longer rents aircraft. Bummer. 

This is one of my yard sale/estate sale finds. It's a vintage Emerson MBR-1 Short Wave Radio. It's an extremely capable receiver which sports Short Wave 4MHZ - 12MHZ, Aircraft Band, VHF Marine Band, AM Broadcast, FM Broadcast, CB Band (11M/27Mhz, and Weather Band (VHF 162.4-162.55). It also receives the defunct Television Band (analog).  Power is AC/DC which means that it's portable by using 6 D cell batteries. It also has a direction finder antenna on the top and PA capability so you can plug in a microphone and use it as an amplifier. There is an auxiliary antenna jack in the front. I don't have room for it so it just sold on Craig's List. I have other rigs that can do what this one can do. 

We saw the smoke from this fire in the distance as we departed Porterville on Highway 190 and headed home. When we came around the curve just past "Success Market" (where the "Lakeside Market" used to be), we saw the source  of the fire and a few CalFire rigs on scene. It was a well-developed grass fire. Equipment was still rolling in when we got there. 

For whatever reason, the FD hadn't blocked the road yet. The fire is having it's way for the moment but that wouldn't last long. 

Here's one of the Grumman S-2FT fire bombers from the Forestry fire attack base at the Porterville Municipal Airport. When he flew over, things got interesting for the Minnicks. We got bombed with fire retardant! Getting hit by a 500-gallon water balloon was definitely a first! 

For the ex-pats, the building to the left is the old gas station that has seen numerous incarnations over the previous decades. It has been a storage yard and a tree nursery but it has sat forlorn for many years at a time. Lately, there has been some activity but I can't attest to what it means. The little gazebo and the fence in front are recent additions. Looks like someone's BBQ grill may have gotten loose and started a fire. 

Here is the residual fire retardant being swept aside by our windshield wipers. The red stuff consists of a bunch of phosphates which can act like a fertilizer.  It usually just goes away if you wash it off or even just neglect it. The sun will make it fade away, too. 

Here's what a "fire proof" car looks like. It got washed off the next day. The old folks were too tired to deal with it at the time. It's harmless to the paint. You'll notice that the driver's window is not red. That's because it was down while yours truly was taking pictures and not watching the sky for fire bombers. My arm was wet and a tad red so it's fire proof too. 

Good thing that this red stuff isn't overspray! 

This is "Big Bertha" the freeze dryer. She up and decided to be "Big Headache" so she needed an attitude adjustment. This is all 200 pounds of her neatly boxed up and awaiting a FedEx pick-up truck. It was "long batching" and it couldn't be resolved with troubleshooting methods. So, it's off to "Harvest Right" in the Beehive State, Utah. She'll be gone about a month. She'll be missed because this is harvest season when Rancho Relaxo is flush with green and fruity things. Our chickens will make sure that most of it won't go to waste. 

Here's the latest addition to the family courtesy of local ham, Eddie, KB6BK It's colloquially  referred to as a "skeleton antenna". More officially, it's a stacked 14 element Yagi VHF 2 meter beam antenna. If you look closely, the driven element is a "square  magnetic loop" with a gamma match. The single reflector element is to the rear of the driven element while the director elements are forward of the driven element. It's an improvement on the standard "Yagi" beam antenna. 

This is a seriously high-gain antenna. If possible  (i.e. if the land lady, Connie the Canner, doesn't object), it will be mounted on the roof with the 5/8 wave 11 meter vertical and the dual-band "Comet" VHF-UHF vertical. If storm clouds arise, it will be mounted on the crank-up tower at the back of the barn. That would be nice but I have yet to establish my radio shack in the allocated room upstairs. But, I can feed it with a 125' of coax from my office which is the temp shack for now. The only concern is that low-loss coax will need to be used and that stuff is expensive. If that ends up being the case, then the alternate beam antenna, an 11 element 2 meter beam, may be mounted on the roof since it's only half as ugly as this one and Connie the Canner will only be half as upset. I may use an antenna switch, too, since I'll be feeding both antennas with whatever main VHF transceiver being used. The HF transceiver will feed my 105' off-center fed multi-band sloper dipole, one end of which will be mounted to the tower. A switch will be used to change to the HF vertical on the roof.  

Tip O’ The Day

“Some of us got it and some of us ain’t” (Roy Clark)

And now, a word from our sponsor:

This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “Molly Mae’s Mallitoted Muddermasts”. Now, these are the best “Mallitoted Muddermasts” that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better “Mallitoted Muddermasts” anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of “Molly Mae’s Mallitoted Muddermasts” at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Rapid Mart, Quick Mart, Save Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!

Holy chicharrones, Batman! It’s June already!! Doesn’t that just make you want to hock your "Vita-Mix"?! And, it's only 202 days until Christmas!! *SIGH*. Moving long to the Rancho Relaxo report......

We're still spring cleaning here at the rancho (last spring's cleaning, of course). One chore was to spiff up the stairs. That means that we had to break out the Orrick XL which is the smaller version of the big Orrick rug sucker. I call it the “mini-sucker” while the larger one is “the big sucker”. So, it was my job to start sucking. Fortunately, I didn’t suck at vacuuming the stairs so Connie the Canner was pleased with the all the sucking I did.  I did such a good job that I didn't even have to redo the job. That would have sucked. 

Kin folks at Rancho Relaxo

Because of everyone's busy schedule and because of many of our relatives live far away (1,000-1,700 miles is pretty far), we don't get to seem them very often. So, you can imagine how pleased we were to have the opportunity to have Connie's brother, Chris, his wife, Carol, and his son, Jim stay with us for a couple of days! They were heading back to Texas where they had recently moved to. They had lived in Corona, CA for decades prior to the move. 

For dinner, we simply had to knock over the local hamburger joint, "The Hamburger Stand", in Springville. The food is great there and so are the folks running the place. It wasn't intentional but we actually closed the place down. Lot's of yakking going on. 

That night, after the burger feast, though they were still on "Tulsa Time" (CST - they live not far from San Antonio), we talked until after midnight. That's also way past my and Connie's bedtime (PST) so, after all of the great fellowship, we all called it a night. 

For breakfast, we knocked out some of our famous "Rancho Eggs" from the vaunted "Henhouse Hilton", toast, fried taters (much like potatoes but with lots more TLC [grease] involved), fried pork belly (think bacon or salt pork but thicker and more like pork steak) and coffee for those who were so inclined. It's par for the course for the old folks to stay close to the southern style of breakfast when we can, don'tcha know.  

They were on a timeline so the morning was gone only to quickly. It was "Adios" and huggies all around then they drove off into the clear, bright, sunny day. It was super to see them again since we hadn't seen them in so long. 

Our hope is to see them again when head back to Texas sometime this fall when we finally get a.....day off. Connie's two other brothers, Steve and Roger, both live next door to Chris and Carol so it'll be a family reunion of sorts. We're looking for the great fellowship but also the great Texas food! Roger is known for his great (and I mean great!) cook outs at the his airport in Kingsbury!

More on that on another posting. But, the Ol' Rancher would love to just eat his way through Texas! The first place we'll start is the "Grist Mill" in Gruene (near New Braunfels) on the Guadalupe River. That place is unreal!! When we were there the first time, they almost had to grab a block and tackle to get me out of there! The food and service was over the top super and everything was pure TEXAS! 

Another place is similarly super. It's "Cold Springs Restaurant" about 5 miles away from the "Grist Mill" and it's also in New Braunfels. Then there is "The Market" BBQ house in Luling 11 miles east of Kingsbury. That's a place that is hard to leave even if you are stuffed to gunnels with BBQ'd meats! Folks haul their hunger on down there from Austin (40  miles) and San Antonio (50 miles)! They are quite famous! I had actually read about this place in a travelogue magazine a couple of years prior getting to make a greasy mess there. That was in California at the time! Who woulda thunk that, a couple of years later,  they would have a new biggest fan?! Oh, man! 

It's difficult to describe just how good these places in Texas are! Whether it's steak and fries, catfish and fries, BBQ'd brisket and sausages, or just a big ol' huge hamburger and fries; you just can't get any better chow, no how! Ain't no way your backbone and belly will be bumping into each other after a gnash fest at any one of them (thank you, Guy Clark!)!

This is to not even mentioning the rest  of the many great places in Seguin and all points within a 25 mile radius! If we're not mindful on our vacation, it'll take a month just getting to the Texas/Oklahoma border, another month to get to Tulsa, and then another month in Tulsa! In Tulsa, we may start with "Goldies" burger place then "Famous Dave's" and "Ike's Chili" after that! Whooooo doggies! 

Chickening: A  Real Wild Time or The Last Feral Hen 

 A while back (which is longer than "not long ago" which is longer than "the other day" but not as long as "some time ago"), we had four feral hens who showed up at the coop. There wasn't so much as a clue as where they came from but it's likely that they escaped from a good home. They showed up every day for a couple of months. Being the bird brain that the Ol’ Rancher is, chicken scratch was tossed around to keep them interested enough to so that they may become tame enough to enroll in our egg laying club. 

One day, one of the birds was coaxed to the front door which was opened up just enough to encourage her to hop in. She did and quickly made herself at home. The cutie little bird has now become very comfortable being one of the cackleberry crew. A few minutes later, another bird did the same thing and, she, too, was welcomed in with a slight swish of the foot. That was all that happened that day. But, the next day, a third bird was lured in and she settled in and became a club member, too. 

Now, the fourth bird is another story. She was the wildest one and was a spooky as sparrow on crack. She acted as if a bobcat was within three feet of her at all times. This was despite the fact that I had been somewhat near her many times while tossing scratch around for her. After a month of that, she disappeared. The first thought was that she had succumbed to the local predators. Ah, but this is Rancho Relaxo and you just never know. She then started to sporadically show up for breakfast. Then, while cleaning up the huge pile of boxes in which our produce comes, the feisty little hen was found setting on a bunch of eggs not far from the front door of the coop! It was obvious that she was quite certain that no one would find her. 

It was known from experience that she would not abandon her nest so the next step was easy. She was gently picked up and hauled into the coop and equally gently set down before she could come to. Roosting birds are in a type of torpor unless you mess with their chicks then the fight is on (and don't expect to win). She is still a bit skittish and doesn't feel welcomed and comfortable yet. She's not yet ready to shove in wing-to-wing with the other hogs at the trough. But, there's no doubt that, in time, she'll be just one of the gals. 

What about her eggs? They were infertile and had been there for probably two weeks rotting. So, it was into the trash they went. 

Dump, to the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump (to the tune of the "William Tell Overture". Singing in E Major not required) 

 When we pick up our produce trimmings, we get from 8 to 16 boxes twice per week. Just exactly what can you do with that many boxes that, by and large, are not configured for anything else but produce? Right: you cut them down and haul them to the dump. 

After loading Wooly Pully to the gunnels with boxes and ratchet strapping them down, it was off to the Springville Transfer Station about a mile east of the rancho. Because the load consisted solely of boxes the job wasn't a back breaker and not even a really good cardio workout. But, this is Rancho Relaxo and things were about to change. 

The next day, it was regular trash time. But, there was a catch and that catch was that the cans were overloaded and didn't have their lids on them when it rained not long ago. The cans were dumped over to help empty them of water (at 8.34lbs per gallon) but a lot of water had soaked into the trash. There are twelve cans but we can only take eight at a time. That was good because each can weighed more than a hundred pounds. 

To help with that muscle-bruising project, our rancho rampo was deployed. It's a two-hinge aluminum ramp that fits nicely at the back of trailer. The elephantine trash cans were walked, dragged, and shoved up the ramp until they were all onboard. Now, that was a full cardio workout, let me tell you! After strapping down the requisite tarp (it costs extra if your load isn't covered), it's break time! 

After the break, it was off to the transfer station where all the trash was hauled off the trailer and into the huge sea-train type containers (after paying the $25.00 fee, first....grumble grumble). It'll be awhile before the Ol' Rancher will be in the mood for that much work again. 

Sale'ing

It's yard sale season but, for whatever reason, we didn't have the usual crop of yard sales popping up on just about every corner. We've managed to pick up a few super deals so far but the number of sales themselves have been pretty sparse. The weather hasn't been all that hot which has extended the season somewhat but folks seem to not have gotten the hint. When the real heat hits, not many people will be braving the ordeal of hosting a yard sale. 

It's Biscuit Time in P'ville or Good gravy! 

When mostly through with our shopping and bill paying list during an early morning jaunt down the hill, we decided to break for breakfast. Connie had the marvelous idea that we should knock over "Carl's Jr.". Well, let me tell you, fellow hound dogs and hound dogesses, much experience has led to the belief that "Carl's Jr." is the joint to go if  your behind in your biscuits and gravy rations! 

Let's give you the back story on this. If you do a bit of homework, you'll note that "Carl's Jr." and "Hardys" is one and the same outfit (think, "Hellmans" and "Best Foods"). Well, this old biscuit chaser lived in Tulsa, OK a couple of times and has been to Texas no few times and has become quite an expert concerning biscuits and gravy. It's not about being picky; it's about being good. Either the dang thang (no relation to the Vietnamese madam of the same name) is good or it's landfill. Thankfully, those places that are still in business have mastered the concept and aim to make sure that their customers return. That's me and that's why, after dining on "Hardys" biscuits no few times, the choice for a B&G breakfast is "Carl's Jr.". He's back!

The "Black Bear" restaurant  is good but only comes close because they're not as dialed in as some places. "Boss Hogg's" in Exeter is a place that shouldn't be forgotten; they're the real deal! They do a great job of it, too, and the service is great! Sadly, not everyone actually knows what a "real" biscuit and what its taste and texture should be. Making biscuits is about the same as trying to interpret which abuela's menudo recipe is the best. That's why it's fun to hunt around for the best one in the area. 

It was almost time to change from the breakfast menu to the lunch menu. That meant that they would have gravy left over and would just have to dump it (oh, how I hate to see good gravy wasted!). So, wanting to do my part to not waste good gravy, when the order was made, I made sure that the guy behind the counter knew that I wanted my biscuits buried in rescued gravy so that they'd be good and dead (I would hate to have one of my biscuits crawl off the plate, wouldn't you?). I figured he wouldn't mine using up the rest of his good gravy on me. He grinned and complied. The order came as requested and with a hot cup of coffee so it ended up being a really fulfilling and enjoyable breakfast that morning. 

When we moved from Rockford, IL back to California in '74, we stopped at a small truck stop in New Mexico. It had been a terribly long time since I had "real" biscuits and gravy and was longing to dig into a big pile of that wonderful stuff. So, without even looking at the menu, I ordered up. The nice server looked at me a little strangely and asked what I ordered. "Biscuits and gravy", was the reply. Guess what? She had never heard of that! Reckon she was one of them Yankees from that far eastern country called "New England". 

 Another shocker on the trip was when stopping for lunch somewhere in Arizona (probably Kingman) Even though I-40 went right by this town, I had to track down a taco! That was really weird. They didn't have a "Taco Bell" yet. 

Well....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo (aka “Dos Acres”): home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else); together we are the Yo-Yo  twins who are always forgetting things and having to return to the rancho for something. We are home to our one duck that we try to keep in a row (which is difficult since he's retarded). Our home is where the air always smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to us and where...you just never know.