Anyway, the Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho nestled in the dryer-than-a-drunk-on-a-deserted island foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Like last month, we've had a break in the weather and are mighty grateful that the tar on our roads isn't flowing. But. we're sort of back to being normal again with only mid-to-high 90's and a few low triple digit highs for the day. Thanks for dropping in at the Rancho Relaxo global headquarters.
Note: click on the pictures to enlarge
We may as well start off with an "Awwwwww!" picture. This is one of our latest editions to the Henhouse Hilton. The decision to not have any more chicks just didn't hold up under such cuteness. A few of our working girls decided to go broody on us so we just let them have the way of all feathers and hatch their eggs. After this little guy, eggs were hatching out all over. We now have a dozen or so little birdies peeping away while the other birds are getting their two dozen or more eggs ready to join in on the hatch. They are all mix-and-match with their coloration. This is the only pure colored one we've seen so far.
Here's a handful of some the other little birdies. You can see that their coloration is different. We've hatched 22 chicks in the previous 3 weeks! We weren't even trying to do that!! That's Connie, the "chicken granny" cuddling the little cuties.
This is the shot of a real genuine "pile o' chicks". These are just from the past couple or three days.
Contrast the above load with this one. This is a bunch of the goodies we got at an estate sale not long ago. It's difficult to see but there are two Antron power supplies (20 amp and 35 amp), a Discone scanner antenna, coax cables of all kinds, three new mobile CB antennas, several "stingers" for mobile antennas (allows for tuning the antenna to a specific frequency), a couple of used CB antennas, a like-new noise bridge (helps to determine the resonant frequency of an antenna), a new digital power meter (tells you how much wattage your appliance uses which can also tell if the utility company is being honest with their readings). a vintage Knight tunable VHF receiver (late '60's), and a slew of other smaller items. All at yard sale prices! Such a deal! Zowie x 2!
This is just a memento from "Quakesville, USA. Around here, if the dishes don't rattle, we don't pay much attention to earthquakes. This 5.7 shaker was about 85 miles south from us so we only felt a slight tremor here. We were in P'ville a few years ago when the big 7+ quake hit Ridgecrest. That one was about the same distance SW of us and it did more than rattle the dishes.
Wanna see my Palomar RX-100 noise bridge? This little guy is an estate sale find and is a really handy gadget. It helps find the resonant frequency of an antenna. It generates a signal using a 9V battery. Then, you use it in conjunction with a receiver and adjust the knobs for an expected resonant spot for the antenna. You adjust the capacitance and resistance until you hear a null in the signal fed to the receiver. That gives you the resonant frequency of the antenna. It will either be below or above where the receiver is set. You then adjust the antenna length to fit the desired frequency or "sweet spot".
This picture was taken on August 4th. Anybody want to educate me on the principles of marketing as to why stores (Lowe's, in this case) starts selling Halloween stuff two months prior to the event? As an old fuddy duddy, I can proudly say: "They didn't do this in ' 56".
Here's another super yard sale find. These are two like- new large folding/collapsible chairs especially built for us old "Crisco Kids" (fat in the can). You wouldn't wouldn't even believe the deal we got on them!
Tip of the Day:
“If you ever get caught sleeping on the job, slowly raise your head and say, "In Jesus' name. Amen’” (Anonymous…but it wasn’t Jesus).
This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by “ Quiet Queenie’s Quivvy Quavvy Quove Quobbers". Now, these are the best Quivvy Quavvy Quove Quobbers that money can buy! You cannot...I say...you cannot get better Quivvy Quavvy Quove Quobbers anywheres! And, folks, they're made right here in the good ol’ US of A. You can get your bountiful supply of "Quiet Queenie’s Quivvy Quavvy Quove Quabbers" at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Save Mart, Quick Mart, Rapid Mart, and all those marts where those guys have them towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!
Rancho Relaxo Report:
Well, gish-gash, the gilly-gosh, gee-haw! It’s September…already! Doesn’t that just flick your Bic? Our spring cleaning isn't even finished yet! *SIGH*. Moving along....
We are doing well and getting things done (though tired and needing a nap a lot). But, there's just too much for one (old) person to do. It seems that gravity has increased to the point that the ol' dude can barely lift, shift, rack, pack, and stow stuff. There were no such thoughts about the matter only a few odd years ago.
A man and his crew had to be hired so we could expedite the straightening out of the ol' rancho (did I mention spring cleaning not being finished?). This is, in fact, the main reason we are lagging behind on our vacation schedule. Our plans fell apart like a snot-filled Kleenex. We're now without plans or a schedule and have no idea if or when we can get out of Dodge for a spell (I'm up for two spells).
The idea was to get things spiffed up around here prior to our departure from "Rancho Tasko" and enjoy some much-needed time off. We didn't want to return exhausted and look forward to a ton of work. Working while exhausted is not allowed at this time.
That's not to mention having the 8' x 8' x 3' garden boxes refurbished and in shape for the next growing season. It's not likely that you remember that, four years ago, we filled our boxes with compost and had a smashing bloom that spring. But, as the crops began to produce fruit, something began to destroy them! We couldn't immediately determine what it was so the great oracle, "Google", had to be consulted.
The results were that we had a massive fungal infection. That meant that our new compost was wrecking the garden! We've let the ground grow follow for all this time thinking that the fungus would likely just up and die without water and being subjected to the searing summer heat. Since that really isn't all that scientific, it was decided to just strip off at least 20"-24" of top soil and dump new compost over the old dirt (hoping that the fungus didn't penetrate below that level). That there is what they call a "chore"!
The compost we previously hauled in 8 years ago was from a big Tulare County composting station on Lover's Lane near Visalia and just down the street from the "Shannon Brothers Trucking" yard (for all you old lovers of gorgeous, bright yellow, KW day-cab tractors with chrome wheels). It wasn't all that expensive (then) so we (i.e. me and my shovel) filled the top 1/4 of the boxes with fresh compost. That has to be stripped off and the new composted tossed in. My "toss'er" is busticated so, the plan is to hire a strong back to do it for us.
Chickening report:
Chicks galore or Chicks are busting out all over: There really were no plans on kick starting another batch of chicks. It just sort of happened. There were plenty of eggs to go around even after Connie the Canner/Dryer/Baker stored up a ton of them. During one of the days that the Ol' Egg Man's brain cells weren't shaking hands, some of the girls were allowed to continue to brood. It wasn't long until chicks were hatching out all over! The size of our bird herd doubled in just a matter of about a week after the three weeks gestation period. So much for that "brilliant" idea.
Nature has already decided that about half of the chicks will be male. So, we may make "meat birds" of the males (if we don't make pets out of them) and keep the females as replacement layers as our other birds retire. A few birds were lost some months ago so the new ones will come in handy, I suppose.
The Phoneless Home or No Phony, No Baloney: Our phones are an important part of our life but, sometimes things don't go well with these new-fangled and ornery things. So, being ripped up and transplanted from the comfortable past and forced into our current-yet-futuristic time line seems to happen at the old folks' home all of the time. This proves to be a very uncomfortable thing especially when dealing with "tech support". So it was with our recent "fix the dang phone or we'll throw it out the double-danged window" episode.
Our home home phone went down so it needed attention. After multiple failed dealings with the sub-average IQ script-reading non-tech tech support offered by AT&T, we had had it; we up and pulled the plug on the home phone and forged a "Plan B".
It began with a seemingly benign issue. The modem box for our home phone failed. This was after dispensing with the hard line phone service (way too expensive) and going to wireless (a modem is still required but it was cheaper...cheaper is our friend). OK...I've dealt with cheap Chinese junk that is engineered to fail so "Tech Support" was called. "We don't make those any longer but you can get a used one on eBay". WHAT?! I can't another modem and no further help? My temptation was to respond and say, "So.... I guess I get to be a Verizon customer tomorrow, eh? I bet I get a modem within three days". I'm not sure, but I think I regretted not saying that.
What is interesting is that the modem continued to operate intermittently for another few weeks until it lost all of it's remaining electro-sanity and its EEG flatlined; all positronic brain activity ceased. So, we brooded over that for awhile (we live on a chicken ranch. What else did you expect us to do?).
After some thought on the matter, it was decided that, if we could keep the land line number that had been in service for 30 years, we would just switch to a cell phone. After a 40 minute in-store wait, we got an answer. "Sure", said the nice lady (this time...long story...but one which tempts you to switch to Verizon) at the AT&T office in Hooterville (I'm a native so I can get away with calling it what it is).
Wouldn't you know that the med-kit and Novocaine should have been brought along because we initiated a whole lot of grief and tooth pulling. This subsequent mess did actually have us thinking that we have been dealing with the wrong phone service provider. I had to remember that patience was a virtue and that the physical removal and examination of someone else's brain for functioning cells was not.
We sat through the hour plus session of switching our land line number to a cell phone and cancelling Connie's old cell number (it was mostly used for a back up phone anyway). The manager of the store slapped in a new SIMM chip but couldn't get our phone registered on the network. She assured us that we could go on home and it would be initiated within a short time. That didn't happen. Great x 2.
Two days later, we tried again but were advised that no further assistance was available at the local level. Great x 3. So, the non-local support was called. After....30 minutes....of waiting for help, the first tech consumed an hour of our time to reach the conclusion that she would have to escalate the matter to the next level. Great x 4. After a 10 minute wait and 40 minutes with Tech #2, he advised that he had to put us on hold. Much to my concern, the call was dropped. Great x 5. My lightening fast mind was singing, "Hey, Verizon, here I come. Right where I should have started from" (think, "California here I come..."). Not wanting to be mocked another time, no further attempt was made to straighten things out that day.
Then next day (when lots of things are about to happen), another call was made. Fortunately, the wait time was only about 15 minutes or so. The low-level devil I talked to was given the skinny as to what was happening so my call went straight to an "expert". That wasn't my opinion; that was his opinion! I know that because he told me he was an expert! No joke! I don't know why but I just knew that this guy wasn't an expert and that he had just graduated from the AT&T's Chinese "Fix-a-Phone" class last Tuesday.
I advised him that we have a network connectivity issue because that's what the phone was telling me was the issue. Ignoring the issue and facts, he blathered on and on and must have slobbered a cupful of his expertise and pride into my ears. He led me in another direction altogether. After 20 minutes, he placed me on hold. Why, oh, why did I know that my call was going to be dropped? Yep...the call was dropped. Great x 6.
We'll , I'm up for a good joke now and again but being the continuous brunt of a very bad joke for days on end doesn't tickle my fancy or any other part of my being (I'm not even sure where my fancy is located). Anyway, without so much as cussing in German (it can be done but my German teacher said that, even the Germans use English to cuss someone out since there's just no better way to do it on the planet), I shut down the anger shop for the day. Great x 7.
New day: We had to go back to town the next day. So, despite being told that there would be no help from the local phone bots, we drudged through the door of the ATT&T store. We knew full well that we would have to wait in line for at least 30 minutes prior to getting help and that's what happened. An explanation was given as to why we returned. One of the agents headed to the back of the store and returned with a new SIMM chip.
The new chip was installed and the iPhone was rebooted. The bloody thing worked in spite of days of expert help!! Whaddayuh know! But, just when we were about ready to break out the joy, the agent said, "OK, it's working now. It's five dollars for the SIMM chip". FIVE DOLLARS FOR THE SIMM CHIP?! I've gone through days of grief and torture for the privilege of remaining an AT&T customer and even upgraded my service only to find out that you're going to stab my already bloody soul with a five dollar charge for a SIMM chip! Great x 8!.
My lightning-fast mind immediately thought of three hundred places on the human body where I could permanently implant a SIMM chip before casually driving toward a Verizon store. Thankfully, the "longsuffering towards idiots" button was pushed and the room temperature dropped back to normal.
Long story longer: we kept the home number, dropped Connie's old cell number, and upgraded my cell up to "Unlimited". A real cell-of-a-deal, if you asked me.
If you can’t glue it, screw it. The other day (when lots of things happen around here), our “junk drawer” fell apart. You know what I mean; the drawer where you can find everything from a floor jack to a “plumber’s helper” and at least one of every sized screw, nut, and bolt, ever made. The 30 year old plastic drawer glide mounts had failed (maybe the 50 lbs of junk in the drawer had something to do with it) and Ol' Rancho Mechanico was called in to help.
Usually, the remedy is to just pull the old glides out and replace them. There wasn't an immediate replacement set of mounts available and we weren't about to drive to town that day (i.e. we'll wait until we usually go in like on a Wednesday or Sunday). Ah, but this is Rancho Relaxo and you just know that there is a "Plan B" back up just in case (just in case someone gets "convenience oriented" and doesn't want to expend a ton of labor).
The plastic mount had cleanly fractured which left an opportunity for repair. The big tube of commercial "Super Glue" was grabbed along with a couple of ratchet clamps and the rail was good to go the next day. Who knows if the repair will last but we saved 10 bucks and the Ol' Rancher's back (climbing under cabinets is not a regular practice at our house). IF the repair holds, well and good. If it doesn't, then we'll grab a new set of drawer glide mounts and start screwin' instead of gluin'.
Lay a little Lava on yuh or Ain’t no clean like Lava clean: Some years ago, I was reintroduced to an old product from my childhood: "Lava" soap. We got a few new bars from an estate sale/yard sale so I put it to work. Talk about being astounded! I had totally forgotten just what it was like to actually have clean hand!! Sure, the mud and muck would come off using "regular" soap. After using "Lava", it was "sign me up for a lifetime membership" time! It has "pumice which introduces a light abrasive action and it cuts through the crap right now. There's no describing how your hands feel after not being "squeaky clean" for so long. You can actually see the grime wash off and down the drain. No joke. So, do yourself a huge favor and grab a lot of bars of "Lava". You'll be like the Ol' Rancher and be glad you did (disclaimer: no money was made off of this commercial blurb).
PS Yes, you can get your hands "Boraxo clean" too because Boraxo uses the same abrasive principle. It's really good stuff but it isn't quite as easy to deal with since it's a powder. But, if you just really need to get rid of the grit and grime, these products will not disappoint.
Ham Radio Update or Up in the Air: If you've been following the RR blog, you know that the ham tower is about ready to be raised. There have been a number of obstacles to overcome but most of them have been remedied.
For one thing, there was a lot of shrubbery, plants, trees, this, that, and whatever, in the way. All that has been removed. The concrete base was established some months ago. Now, we're trying to figure out the easiest way to raise the tower without attaching a snatch block to the barn. Then, the tower will have to be pushed up or some sort of rear support will need to be establish for leverage. Hardware supports will be attached prior to raising since they'll be the anchors for other wire antennas.
The antenna to be mounted will be the OCF (off-center fed) Windom dipole rigged as an 10M through 80M “sloper” dipole. One end will be attached high on the tower while the other end will slope to the SE and will be attached to a mast that's anchored near the driveway of the house. This configuration will help with the NVIS (near-vertical incidence skywave) dynamic required to get my signal out of the “bowl” we’re in (surrounded by hills/mountains on three sides).
