RANCHO SEPTEMBRE FRIO

 

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Greetings and welcome to the "Rancho Relaxo" blog for September. Once again, we’re running a tad late with our post this month just like the previous few issues. We hope to cure this matter prior to the death of Santa Claus but, hey, who knows. And, like previously, there are lots of reasons for that but you will be spared most of them (it would help if I could get a week off around here). In any case, the Ol' Rooster and Ol' Hen just wanted to share what's happening here at our humble rancho nestled in the dry-as-toast foothills of the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Thanks to La Niña, and despite everything being "California Gold" in color, we have been having an exquisite summer that even included rain (which is almost unheard of in the summer!)! The daily high temps are almost like early May around here (though that is alternating with some real scorcher days)! Some of our highs are only in the 80's! Anyway, thanks for dropping in at the Rancho Relaxo global headquarters.

Well, we up and did it! We took a couple of days off from the ground squirrel races and headed to the beach at Mar Pacifico (Magellan really didn't have a clue)! Thankfully, it's only about 170 miles to get to the big water. That's "just around the corner" when you live in California. That's also a right fine distance so that you can get there in a timely fashion without being in a hurry. Of course, that means that you're fairly likely to get run over a few times while en route by those who live their life in a blur. We had to dodge a few blurry vehicles, let me tell you! 

Here is the Oceano Airport (L52). It's parked about 3 miles due south of Pismo Beach. We've flown in here a few times in a couple of Cessna 172's and a Piper Cherokee. In fact, for my very first cross country flight with passengers as a newly-minted private pilot, I chose this airport to fly too! This cool airport sits less than a half-mile from the beach so lots of folks fly in here on the weekend. They even have bicycles pilots can use for free! On one occasion in '99 when we camped at their private campground, they even taxied us to Pismo and back with no charge!

"The Sands Inn & Suites" on Monterey Street was a great place to stay in San Luis Obispo. It's "5 Stars" as far was we are concerned!

Gas was 4.79 in Springville/Porterville when we departed from home. The cheapest fuel we could find on the coast (without actually hunting a cheaper place down) was in Atascadero on the way home. 5.09 isn't a show stopper but I learned later from a friend that this county has the highest gas taxes in the state. 

I had heard about a steak house named "Jockos" in Nipomo (15 min. south of Pismo) for at least 25 years. It has been on my bucket list since that time. So, the ol' hungry rancher hauled himself and his hungry granny-wife down there for a feast. Despite the fact that the place was elbow-to-elbow and cheek-to-cheek packed (and was noisy as a sports bar on Thanksgiving Day), and despite the fact that they managed to configure a "medium" Spencer steak into one that looked like a "well done" steak, it was an enjoyable experience. I probably won't need to go for another 25 years or so (or until I get another bucket). 

This is a 3/4 replica of a 1917 Curtiss JN-4 "Jenny" biplane at the Oceano Airport. Cool, eh?!

This is the famous "Pismo Fish & Chips" in downtown Pismo (left and below). I haven't been here since '89 when I lived in Fresno. The food was good but it wasn't what I remembered it to be. You know how it is. When you only get to go somewhere once in a while, you don't want the experience to be just "OK". You want it to stick in your head like it was covered in "Gorilla Glue".

Good food. Hot food. Both are my friends!

The  place to the right is on the coast just north of downtown Pismo and at the end of a side street. I'm a wonderer and discoverer so I just sort of headed down a back street to see where it went. It led to here and my Nikon "Cool Pix" camera was at the ready and did its job. 

Downtown Pismo. Interesting parking, I'd say. It works well!

This is westbound Highway 46 on the way to the coast. The trees to the right side are pistachios. There are miles and miles of them! After I got home and could use "Google Maps", I counted at least 8 sections of trees! A section is one square mile! There was another 8-10 sections south of Lost Hills.  I didn't count the many thousands of acres of pistachios in the surrounding Kern, Tulare (where Rancho Relaxo is), and Kings Counties. We (CA) produce 99% of all pistachios in the nation and 80% of the world's pistachio supply (eat your heart out, Iraq!). And, in 2020, we planted 485,000 acres (probably more than all of Iraq). This nearly ties our walnut production. Reckon you could say that California is ...nutty. 

Here's a shot of pistachios in their native environment. 

We not only got to go to the coast, we also got to go to the modest burg of Hanford which is little over an hour west from where we live. We had to deliver a wrought iron patio set to some folks over there. There was enough time to stop off for a late lunch so here's the place that was picked: "Hong Kong Chop Suey" on 7th Street. The food was good but there were at least two other Chinese restaurants nearby that are going to be knocked over the next time Hanford is a destination. 

Hanford has a lot of friendly folks, too, and they are quite proud of their many dairies in that area. That's probably because Tulare County is the number one county in the nation for milk production. Their mottos is: "Come to Hanford and smell our dairy air!".  

Here's a shot of one of the many vineyards and many oak trees prior to getting to the coast itself. This picture was taken on Highway 41 between Atascadero and Shandon. It's about 20-25 or so (road) miles from Paso Robles. "Paso Robles" translates as "Oak Pass". Yes, we have lots of oak trees!

This is eastbound Hwy 41 just as it meets Hwy 46 at Shandon. I decided to take the back road since I hadn't taken this route since the '80's. It was a nice and wonderfully uncrowded route (read: it was entirely devoid of drivers who wanted to make Bakersfield's  "Channel 23 Action News" about the largest fiery car crash of the year)! No pain and no strain. That's the kind of driving preferred by these old folks. 

Here's the update on the "Let's Wreck Randy's Finger Nail" project. The black bruising has almost covered the entire nail area and there's a large hole at the bottom where the nail has separate from it's moorings. Swell. At least there doesn't seem to be an infection issue. 

No one here at the ranch is into nail art or large peep holes in their fingers so I reckon I'll just have to outgrow this matter and try to garner attention some other (and less painful) way. Guitar players hate to have their fingers busted up. 

Abbie is back on her game and has rebounded spectacularly after her two bouts with over-classed enemies. She wanted us to know it by displaying her latest trophy. Good girl, Abbie! Abbie - 1; Fuzzer - 0.

A word from our sponsor:

This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by "Rowdy Rhonda’s Rounded Roddy Roodies." Now, these are the best Rounded Roddy Roodies that money can buy! They're made right here in the US of A. You cannot...I say...you cannot get a better Rounded Roddy Roody anywhere! You can get your bountiful supply of "Rowdy Rhonda’s Rounded Roddy Roodies" at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Rapid Mart, Quick Mart, and all those marts where them guys have those towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did!

Tip of the Day: You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose. But, you just can’t pick your friend’s nose.

What on earth?! Here we are in September and there's no slowing down! We're headed for a new year that will be here in no more time than it takes to track a coon, skin him, tack and tan his hide down and make it into a hat (the dogs  won't get coon chili this time). If that don't beat the band, there's only 105 days until Christmas! Yikes!! Moving along....

Coasting: We did it! We finally took…a day off (two days, actually)!! It felt weird (I think the ground may have even shook a bit) but it was swell to get out of the Valley for a couple of days and go get  coddled in the cool climes of the coast. It’s great that it’s only a 3 hour drive to get there, too!

We didn’t have a lengthy itinerary because we didn’t have but two days to work with. That does lighten the mental work load and that, after all, was part of the reason we headed over there in the first place. But, finding something interesting wasn't difficult at all.

SLO: Our lodging had been scouted out on the Internet prior to our departure. So, we checked in as soon as we hit town. That town is San Luis Obispo which is one of the most beautiful cities in California (and they have a super airport, too!). We weren't in a hurry so Tojo, the Camry (which gets considerably better gas mileage than the Coop de Ville), was unloaded at our leisure. 

Our home for two nights was the "The Sands Inn & Suites"" on Monterey Street not far off the 101. Because of the time of the year being what it is, we thought that they would be charging "summer rates". That wasn't the case at all. Instead, their rates were actually fairly modest and about that same as that well-known motel that has a huge "6" on it's sign. You know the one; it rents teensy rooms for large prices and offers only lousy coffee for breakfast (the only high point being that it's hot coffee and not tepid). I can't speak for anyone else but I don't plan on paying for a "6" when I  can get an "8"  with breakfast for the same price. I will never go to one again unless there isn't another motel within twenty miles (and farther one can even be partially burned down, for all I care).  

Our room, with a single queen bed (we're royalty, don'tcha know), was at least as large as the "Super 8's" and Econo-Lodges. We were quite pleased and even impressed. The staff were quite professional yet personable and helpful. And, if that isn't enough to burp your Tupperware, they had a great breakfast tossed in! In the (sorta) words of my good friend Arnie, "We'll be back". 

After unloading and resting a bit, we headed out for some sight seeing and seeing of the sea and seeing some sights, we did see such. San Luis Obispo is just plain pretty. You can't quite get enough of this place so you just drive around and soak it all in the best you can. That's what happened. The camera was in high gear and snapping left and right as we drove through and about the town. It was great! 

Our late morning snack had long since perished so our fuel tanks were empty. So, it was time to seek some real food. It's only about 13 miles to Pismo from SLO and that's where we went. The hope was to kick off the R&R with some fresh hot fish and chips at "Pismo Fish & Chips" in downtown Pismo. 

We rolled up, parked, and walked over to the restaurant only to find the place closed on Mondays. Boy, that speedily reduced my endorphin rush to a crawl. Ah, but we're old people and old people have options and aren't about to starve to death on purpose. "Let's go to Jocko's", Connie tendered. "Great idea!", says I, who was more than ready to give her a second pair of angel's wings for that excellent suggestion! Off we went! Nipomo is only about seven miles south of Pismo so it was a sure thing that we weren't going to faint from hunger before we got there. 

"Jocko's": Rolling up to "Jocko's" was much different than rolling up to "Pismo Fish & Chips". The parking lot was packed...on a Monday evening! When inside, we were greeted and asked if we had a reservation. I said, "Sure. It's outside of Porterville a few miles. They even have a casino". After the pleasantries (and after not getting smacked for trying to be a comedian), the nice lady smilingly advised that there would be a 45 minute wait. Great. My guts are grumbling and I'm drowning in saliva from being ensconced in the soul-swooning aroma of at least 50 grilled steaks. Of course, it was our...day off...so, certainly we could tough it out. A few moments later she stated that, if the folks who had scheduled a reservation didn't make it or cancelled in the next few minutes, we could have their spot. Guess what? They did cancel and we were ushered right in! I dang near showed them how to do my version of a happy dance and a moon walk right then and there! Zowie!

After an expected wait time, we were served. The meal was really good but I'm only going to give "Four Stars" this time. I ordered a "medium" steak and got a "well done" one. It's not a show stopper but I would think that, after almost a hundred years in business, they should know how to cook a steak. Also, their "pinquito beans" are of some renown. However, I've had "Santa Maria Pinquitos" (Santa Maria is only five miles south of Nipomo) and they were fabulous. "Jocko's" beans were OK but far from fabulous. So, they're one star short this go around. Nevertheless. We left stuffed and happy as a Pismo clam at high tide and not once did the Ol' Rancher have to be rebuked for his indecorous eating style. "Jocko’s" is our friend.

“Pismo Fish and Chips”: The next day, after our swell breakfast wore off and after cruising around awhile, we headed back over to Pismo for lunch. I couldn't believe it had been a quarter century since I had last had lunch there. Crazy. The good news is that we were the second guests at that time. It was quiet in there ! Our meal would be eaten in peace! I'm not sure how to explain it but food seems to taste better to me if there isn't a 90db+ noise level to contend with. There's no convincing me that the human digestive system needs to rely on a high wattage sonic element for assistance.

We were attended to promptly by a courteous young waiter who made us feel welcomed and who took our order. 

Some thought was given to just emptying their fish and fries supply but I thought better of it. Regardless of the size of my eyes, most of it would have ended up being taken back to camp for later. But, I don't do cold floppy fries very well (and I didn't bring our air fryer with us). That and the fact that my stomach seems to have shrunk up a bit since my "practicing to be a hungry wolf" days in my youth. The ever trusty old-man's wisdom overrode the notoriously unwise and faulty hunger lusting. I settled for the two piece lunch and wasn't even close to being hungry afterwards. 

The food was good but, again, it was a "four stars" meal. I wasn't disappointed because the food was hot (something that is a must for me) and the service was really good. However, a few years ago, I knocked over the fish and chips at "The Dutchman" in Morro Bay and they hit it out of the park. But, it was nevertheless a great "blast from the past" experience and there are no regrets about it. 

The Long and Winding Road: After two days of "un-laxing" and just lazing about taking pictures and doing as we pleased, we headed back home but on Highway 41. It had been a long time since I had taken Highway 41 back from Atascadero to Highway 46 (1988, as I recall). We usually just jazz up to Paso and take 46 through Wasco then further east where it intersects Highway 65 about 12 miles north of Oildale (about 95 miles from point to point). 

46 intersects 41 coming down from Fresburg (sic) and that's where actor James Dean was killed on Sept. 30, 1955. There's a monument at Cholame a tad more than a mile west of the intersection. 41 is somewhat winding but it's a very scenic route and has far less traffic. Plus, it's about 4 miles shorter. It was a good call. 

Once home, we crashed and put the old folks to bed early. We'll need to do this again....soon (including putting the old folks to be early). 

 Count your blessings or Load'em up, boys!: The other day, the neighbors directly across the street from us had a big estate/moving sale. Well, you just know that the Ol' Rancher and Connie the Canner weren't going to let that sale get away! It was a huge barn/garage/shop sale (otherwise known as your basic "guy sale"). 

The folks in charge were from Visalia and were as nice as could be. They were so nice, in fact, that they were almost throwing stuff at us! Seriously! If we wanted something, they would toss in something else for free (when people throw free things at you, don't duck!) We ended up with tools, a metal framed carport (our next greenhouse), a crossbow, lots of shop peripherals, steel shelving, two large 6' x 3' sturdy wooden bookshelf style storage units, rifle cleaning supplies, vintage camping coffee pots, fishing tackle, and a huge list of miscellany. The price tag? A hundred bucks!  And, while we were loading the two large wooden shelves, the guy threw in two nice 20" oscillating stand fans! 

There were just two items of the two "Wooly Pully" trailer loads of goodies (plus, the back of the van was loaded) that were worth at least that much!! We're still counting our blessings because we still don't know what all we have!!

Speaking of such things, not long ago (but longer than the other day), we were at another estate sale. The folks there didn't want to hassle with a large box of "N gauge" and "O gauge" model electric train track, engines, rolling stock, power packs, and diorama supplies. He said he'd take twenty bucks for all of it if I wanted it. Sho' nuff, I wanted it! Just the track that I saw was worth that much! There was a new power pack, too! After inventorying it all, most of it was posted on eBay. Two listings brought in 120.00. Not bad at all. The diorama parts and pieces will be dealt with later. 

Poo! Poo! Who’s got the doo?! Fuzzy do! That’s who!: My doggies! *SIGH*. Fuzzy is one sharp four-legged rag mop, I’m tellin’ you. He's a quick learner and could probably handle some light homework. So, it’s difficult to comprehend how he could sometimes also be a really dumb four-pawed, forty pound, hank of mindless and inconsiderate fur.  

The other day (when lots of things happen around here), it was "feed the doggies" time. So, out the Ol' Rancher goes at about 7AM to open up a couple of cans of dog chow for his furry buddies. But, what before his blurry eyes should appear on his patio but a large pile of doggie doo that, if not mindful, you could stumble over! Since there aren't any animals big enough to do such a doo other than the cows that do what they do in the neighbor's pasture, there was only one suspect: Fuzz Ball, himself. He has all of outdoors in which to do his number two but, such a thing, he did not do. Just what can you do?

Now, I don't mind cleaning up a little doo from time to time but not on my patio and not when you need a front loader. Reckon the Ol' Rancher has a new job on his hands: patio-breaking his goofy pooch. Great. Just what he needs: a job as a doggie doo guru (*SIGH* number two). 

Well....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo: home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of the Yo-Yo  twins and home of a retarded duck: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else): where the air smells and where alliteration reigns supreme and where there's a homophone in the offing: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to me and where...you just never know.