Rancho ¡Feliz Año Nuevo!

 Que tengan un felíz año nuevo lleno de prosperidad!

Hey, Y'all! Thanks for stopping into Rancho Relaxo! It's a brand new year with lots of things happening around here! For one thing, Baby, it's wet outside! We're actually having normal (and perhaps a bit above normal) rainfall this season! It's the good kind of rain (at least here) because it's a "soaker rain". A soaker rain means that it's not a gully washer or a frog strangler like in the mid-west (or in northern CA). Up north of here (SACTO region), it's a mess with much flooding, road closures, and evacuations. At least most of California isn't on fire (a man has to remain optimistic, don'tch know).  

This issue is a bit shorter for reasons that I don't really understand. C'est la vie, I reckon. 

 

This is a shot taken from our back patio looking almost due east. Instead of suffering with "California Gold" and blistering heat, we have cool winter temps and glorious green to enjoy. The wet weather is cool without being nippy and the rain is mostly a "soaker" rain so that it can seep into this rock-hard soil we have here. 

    

   

The good news about rain is that you may end up with a beautiful rainbow. Look what fell into our neighborhood during one of our storms!

      Fuzzy has a nose that knows. 

This picture is called "a pair of faces to draw to". 

Here's a picture I call, "Dos Noses". Fuzzy seems to enjoy taking any pose as long is it's the wrong one. 

This shot is called, "Knees and Fleas". My puppy buddy is growing like a weed! It's amazing what happens when you feed dogs. 

This one is called, "Mug and a Rug". Please...don't ask which one is which. 

Here's, "Toes and Nose". Unlike Abbie, Fuzzy isn't one to purposely disassemble my shoes. He has been known to haul one off and hide it from me, though. 

                                                                 Fuzzy the Lap Rug

"Fuzzy the four-legged mudhole". 

Not sure why this pup seems to 

think that he's part duck but he

does. Guess who's going to get

a big ol' bath when the rain stops?

  Abbie, on the other hand, is not about to play in mud or frolic in the rain. She's staying on the porch.                                            

                                                                                  

 

I think Abbie is trying to teach Fuzzy 

how to dance. It isn't working. Actually, they are having 

a major romp and this is only part of it. They get along 

fabulously which is something that we are quite

happy about. 

This is the Fuzzball basking in the pre-storm warmness. I asked him if he wanted to play. You can see his response. It roughly translates as "Nah".  

Here's a shot of "Connie the Canner" when she's wearing the hat of "Connie the Writer & Correspondent". She wears so many hats around here that I'm not sure we have a place to store them all.  Of all the hats she wears, I think that she enjoys the one that say "Good Granny" on it the most. 

And now, a word from our sponsor. This issue of Rancho Relaxo is brought to you by Darlin’ Dora’s Dandy Doober Doo-Dah’s. Now, these are the best Dandy Doober Doo-Dah’s that money can buy! They're made right here in the US of A. You cannot...I say...you can't get a better Dandy Doober Doo-Dah anywhere! You can get your bountiful supply of Darlin’ Dora’s Dandy Doober Doo-Dah’s at the Wal-Mart, KMART, Speedy Mart, Rapid Mart, Quick Mart, and all those marts where them guys have those towels wrapped around their heads. Tell'em the Ol' Rancher sent you. You'll be glad you did! (A word of caution: you may want to make sure that there isn't any peanut butter in your mouth when ordering your Dandy Doober Doo-Dahs. It could get ugly). 

Fun fact — you can only tie the record for flying low.

It's difficult to comprehend that it has been 74 years since the Ol' Rancher's womb extraction (thanks, JLM). It has been an interesting ride, to say the least. Given my varied background and experience, just how could I guess that I'd end up on a small rancho (in California, no less) wrangling chickens, dogs, and computers and growing fruits and veggies? Add being in the full-time ministry and I found myself living on a ranch where....you just never know.   

I'm mean to tell you....it gets goofy busy around here. It's not only that you just  never know, it's also that it just will be. We're always on the go doing something. And, that's just the expected things. There's always stuff to do, stuff to haul to the dump or hangar, stuff to rack, stuff to pack, stuff to store, stuff to clean, stuff to open up, stuff to fix, and stuff to repair. It's enough to make you want to say, "STUFF IT!". 

The lawn tractor seems to always need attention and, of course, the other motorized critters are jealous so they want more of my time, too. In fact, the big LG washer is still patiently awaiting repair. I have to say that I'm pleased that it doesn't do a lot of griping but it makes its presence known. 

Critterville: and, we have bobcats, coyotes, coons, and possums and what all in our neighborhood. You never know what's going to happen with that or when. There was mountain lion close by the other day and a couple of bears down the road. Anyway, you get the picture. 

There's always something happening around here. About the only thing around Rancho Relaxo that would make it any more interesting is if there were crop circles out back. 

Unclogging we shall go: There's always the unexpected things, too. Not long ago (when lots of things happen around here) the septic line decided to clog...at night...when it was...38 degrees. Great. Wouldn't you know that it happened right at bedtime just when me and my jammies were getting to be really good friends.

That meant that you know who had to grab a jacket and dash into the doggone, dank, darned, darkness and make his appearance as the Rancho Super Plumber (I left my cape inside). Since this sleep-robbing evil has happened before, there was some idea of what to do. 

My friend the hose bladder was located and the water hose was dragged into place and hooked up (that was fun). The bladder was then stuffed into the main drain, and inflated with water. The water expands the bladder which blocks the drain. There's a small hole in the end of the bladder which forces high pressure water into the main thereby (hopefully) clearing the block. It took a couple of tries but the feat was accomplished prior to the onset of any shivering and cursing (never curse your septic tank lines at night, I always say).  

Chickening Report: our biddie birdie buddies are doing well. We're down to eight layers and two roosters. We recently lost four birds to a bobcat but we'll add a few birds in the spring. It's easier to raise chicks and pullets when the weather is warmer so we may wait until then to add to our herd. In the past, we've raised chicks in the house but it's not a preferred way to do it for us. The end goal is to keep a dozen layers around; that should work. And, at the price of eggs around town sitting at 4.59 (these were the cheapest!), I'm quite happy with our little bird herd. 

The other day (when lots of things happen around here), five of our ten birds decided to not come into the coop for some reason. I suspect that they were deeply disturbed by a dog or such and just fled to wherever and didn't come home. That was further evidenced when the remaining five were all parked up high in the coop that evening. They usually are roosting down low on the hutch or on their "chicken stand" further back in. 

I found some of them up in the tree out back later that night. The others were sure to be somewhere close. So, there wasn't any reason to be too concerned other than it's not a great idea to be out at night when the weather is forecast to be wet. Chickens are pretty much water proof (though not as much as a duck). So, the Ol' Rancher hatched a plan. 

It did, in fact, rain that night but the fleeing five showed up the next morning at the back porch. They were waiting for the Ol' Rancher to dole out some scratch. That was a little trick I use to make sure that all my birds are accounted for. If they don't show up for breakfast, then I know that one of the local coyotes invited them over for  dinner. If all is well, the others are let out for the day. Later that that day, when the rain started really pouring down, all ten of them headed into the coop for safety. All that had to be done was to close the door on them and all ten birds were safe. 

After a week in the coop, they were released from "prison" to range as they pleased. That night, they all returned to the coop. All is well for now but....this is Rancho Relaxo and we all know what that means. 

Well....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo: home of Rancho Ran, the world's least-most greatest authority: home of the Yo-Yo  twins and home of a retarded duck: home of Connie the Canner, the world's greatest side-kook and CEE (Chief of Everything Else): where the air smells and where alliteration reigns supreme: where being modern is optional and where there are no slaves to fashion: where the eggs are always mostly fresh: where things can get...interesting: where it's all news to me and where...you just never know.