RANCHO NO BUENOS AIRES

   The formatting this month is terrible. I can't get it to do hardly anything that I want it to do. As usual, you may click on the pictures to enlarge them.

 

Above is the new addition to our ranch.
She’s an Australian Shephard and
her name is "Missy" (which really suits 
her to a tee). She is such a sweet and tame
pup that it's difficult to believe. She came
to us courtesy of a post on "Next Door". 
They said that she was a stray but I really
think that someone dumped her. It's hard 
to believe that someone would do that but 
certainly not to such a beautiful intelligent 
dog as this.  

Below, we see a shot looking east from Rancho Relaxo. On a good day, you can see "Black Mountain". It's 3 miles distant. The visibility on this day was about 1 mile. It has been worse. 

  

This is a shot of Schafer Dam/Success Lake taken from the viewpoint on Hwy 190.

This is a shot taken from the curve on 190 just east of "Success Market" and looking due north towards the dam. You cannot see it or the mountains. 

 

               Here's  a pretty pair. This is Speck and momma, 

               Wynona Wyandotte. She's growing like a weed!

Here's one of Connie the Canner's helpers. It's a big ol' 22 quart

pressure canner. If she needs something canned, this is the "go to" tool. Strangely, this thing doesn't have a name yet. 

Another really handy gadget to have around is her Vita-Mix mixer. There's just about nothing that this big baby can't handle. It can even make soup for you!  I think I'll whip up some Veeta-Vita-Vegge-Min! 

Well….it’s October. Doesn’t that just make you want to blow the sackbut for joy? It almost seems like Christmas is already here! I think I can prove it because, when we went to “Lowe’s” the other day, there were more Christmas items on display than spooky Halloween stuff. It’s difficult enough trying to handle the high velocity of time without them doing that to the old people! Enough already! It’s probably just as well that we move along lest my shrieking plaints escalate to the level that only dogs can hear. Today we BBQ; tomorrow we fry.

Hot doggies! My, but they’re good! – It’s a good bet that everyone’s favorite hot dogs are the ones cooked on an open grill on a sunny day (oh, pleeeeease don’t e-mail me to tell me that you think that those mooshy floppy boiled ones are your delight! I will lose hope in mankind!). That and apple pies are clear-cut “all American” items that we can all agree on. Sure: the ones at “Costco” are worth fighting a band of well-armed Hittites for. Of course, at my age, I’d prefer that they were armed with rubber band guns and club-shaped marshmallows. In any case, for this red, white, and blue California native, the hot-off-the-grill doggie is the top dog.

So, when the urge hit for a “dog fest”, and not wanting to wait for the “Brinkman” briquette burner to come to life, the ol’ griller dude headed for the big forlorn “Weber” propane cooker. I say forlorn because it had last been used sometime in the spring when the weather finally turned nice. The polite metal cooker sat quietly in the corner of the patio  hiding under a dust cover.

But, there was a problem. When the cover was removed, it was a sight to behold. After months of not being used (and noting that someone had forgotten to clean it after the previous use), it was an unqualified mess. Great. It immediately became apparent that lunch was going to be a bit late that day. The time card was punched and it was off to work we go. 

Every removable part was pulled, every swinging part opened, and the cleaning process began. It was not a pretty sight. It took a second to realize that the grill hadn’t been cleaned for a long time prior to its last use. Swell. Reckon the rancho ramrod will need to be confronted about such laziness.

The heavy artillery had to be fetched so the grease and grime could be blown off. Weapons included 409, Cinch, and SOS pads; a water hose was at the ready. The grill plates weren’t horrid, though: just terrible. But, the interior of the wondrous cooking device was yuckier than had ever been seen so the war was on.

 After flinging and flailing and scrubbing and rubbing, the stainless steel “Weber” was sparkling clean again but the ol’ g’rilla was a mess! I looked like I had just overhauled the 425 hp “Cat” engine from a 379 “Peterbilt”.

It was time for a test drive so the propane tank was turned on and the fires were lit. After a few minutes to let the grill get hot, the patiently waiting all beef franks were tossed on the barbie. After they plumped up and were sizzling, they were mated with fresh buns and condiments and to town we went! My, but they were good!

Eggplant city: My eggplants finally made it to harvest. It’s about time. The original eggplant starts were planted in March. Of the original two, only one remains and it has yet to produce anything but large pretty flowers. Five more were planted but only four bloomed and only one has produce fruit so far. There were only two medium sized eggplants at first but two more came along a week later. There are 6 more remaining on the other plants that are catching up and they should ripen in a couple of weeks. The weather will be fine for growing for another month or so. The Parmesan cheese is ready as is the Persian/Iranian eggplant stew recipe.

Estate Sale or Treasures R Us: It’s difficult for some folks to believe just how many treasures the old “sale’ers” are finding.  We went to another estate sale a couple of weeks ago and made out like bandits! It really isn’t boasting or bragging since we can hardly believe it, either! We went to the same sale on Saturday and Sunday and hauled home two van loads of really good nice stuff for…30 dollars...total. If I’m-a lyin’, I’m-a dyin’! Connie sorted her loot which contained all kinds of fabric and “home things” while my trove was all “guy stuff”.

One item was a vintage "Heathkit" Condenser Checker. The item was spruced up a bit and posted on eBay. It sold a week later for 50 bucks!  Another was a vintage "Hallicrafters" electronic code keyer. It sold a week later for 20 bucks! We haven’t had time to do anything with any of the other  goodies but we are already way ahead of the game!

The Big Annual Yard sale!: Our huge October yard sale is just around the corner. It is a monumental sale which requires monumental effort. All of the effort doesn’t necessarily equate to a monumental return on the investment, though. Nevertheless, we are looking forward to the camaraderie with our fellow “sale’ers” who always help to make it a great affair.

The three day event always has us enjoying a pulled pork lunch on one or more of the days and a large pot of chili or such on the last day. Someone usually brings an extra pot of this or that and we’ve even had grilled hot links! Connie the side kook usually has a potato salad on the side, too. No one…no one… leaves hungry. Stay tuned for updates. Some of the updates may appear on FB. 

Connie the Flour Girl: the other day (when lots of things happen around here), we stumbled into another “deal of the day” closeout at a local food mart. They had several 5lb bags of flour for .99 cents. We grabbed most of them and rejoiced at our find. Then, a week later, the remainder of the bags were marked down to .67! So, we got all of them. That's a lot of flour (80lbs)!

So, just what do you do with that much white stuff? You can’t just bake a hundred loaves of bread unless you are going to open a new bakery in town. You could, I suppose, fire up the griddle and make a thousand tortillas and sell them from the back of your van at the Wal-Mart parking lot (I think tamales are better sellers, though). Leave it to Connie the Canner to know exactly what to do. You  simply “dry can” it.

Dry canning is a bit different than regular canning and it’s also easier. You fill your quart jars with flour then, without the lid, you cook them in the oven for an hour. After an hour, you pull them out, put the lid on and wait for the lids to “pop”. However, with this many bags to contend with, she stored them in food grade 5 gallon buckets with oxygen absorbers on top. If times get rough, we will likely never run out of biscuits, pancakes, bread, cakes, or cookies. That'll work for me!

Buttering Up: But, she wasn’t quite done with the caning duties by any means. We stumbled into another “dancing in the aisle” closeout right after the other great deal. “Grocery Outlet” had butter on sale/closeout for…get this…1.49lb! In only a few minutes, they didn’t have to worry about what to do with any leftover butter because we had it all!

This is where Connie the Canner shines. She knows how to can butter, too!! Yep! It’s actually fairly simple and not all that time consuming. The idea is to melt the butter slowly and let it almost simmer for a while. The next step is to scrape the schmutz off the top. Afterwards, you pour it into a jar and heat it in the oven. When hot, you remove them and screw the lids on. After they cool, you store them. When you open them for use, you shake or stir the jar to mix the milk solids with the oil (e-mail her for the details: connieminnick@springvillewireless.com).

You may note that this is similar to making Indian “ghee”. However, the difference is that, with ghee, you actually remove the milk solids. It will remain good for long periods of time that way.

If you think that she’s through canning, guess again. We found yet another super deal at “Grocery Outlet”! They closed out a bunch of cylindrical boxes of “McCanne’s” imported Irish style steel cut oat meal. At .67 per box, this was a deal that was just too good to pass up. So, wearing our best happy faces, we gathered all that they had and hauled them home, too. The back end of the Coop de Ville was riding low that day!

Same question: what do you with all that oatmeal? Sure, it’s great for breakfast but not for 365 consecutive days. I love the stuff but, at some point, you’ll need to toss Ol’ Ran a real bacon and eggs breakfast or his ‘mood minder mechanism’ would likely break (you wouldn’t want that to happen, now, would you?). Answer: you make oat flour, that’s what.

So, Connie made oat flour with her genuine Model 3600 “Vita-Mix” mixer (sorry. It’s not for sale). That is one useful and powerful gadget, if you ask me! There’s not much that hefty stainless steel brute can’t do and it’ll do it with aplomb and without breakin’ a sweat! She made quick work of the several boxes of oats but left one box for us for breakfast cereal (bless her darlin’ heart).

For storage, a couple of 5 gallon buckets were employed and using the same procedure as she had done with the wheat flour. She can now add oat flour to her wheat flour and get creative with her bread making. Sounds good to me! Show me the buns!

She’s known for being a great canner but she is also Connie the Baker and is fabulous in that area, too! When she bakes bread or other goodies (her cookies are outrageously good), you can’t help but wonder if the baking fairy has slipped in and helped her!

Ash Wed…Thurs...Fri…Sat…Sun: We’ve been hammered by the smoke from two local fires in the nearby Sierra Nevada Mountains. One is the “Windy” fire (at about 10 miles SE) which has encroached upon the “Sequoia National Forest” and which has burned about 40 giant Sequoia trees. The other is the “KNP Complex” (at about 23 miles NNE and in the “Kings Canyon National Forest” which is the home of the nationally renowned “General Sherman” and “General Grant” giant Sequoias). Depending upon which way the wind blows, we get the fire and ash from one or the other forest fires (and can even get it from both!). It’s almost depressing to walk out to an ash-covered car and watch as more ash falls on it.

Breathing the smoke and having ash fall all over the place gets old rather quickly. Folks with existing respiratory issues are suffering greatly. The good news is that we have a 60% chance of rain this Friday (tomorrow). Yes…folks have been praying for rain. Thank you ALL!

Abbie the blunder dog: Given her track record, we can come to no other conclusion than that our high-spirited love doggie is not a guard dog; she is a watch dog. One of the simple chores she’s been tasked with is keeping the hens off the back porch. It’s not a lot to ask but she doesn’t seem to take the matter seriously. A couple of the working girls take delight in laying eggs in Connie’s planter boxes (why should they lay their huevos in one of the 36 discrete boxes in the coop?). Much to our chagrin, she will park on her doggie pad on the back patio and just watch while the girls wander about looking for a place to make a mess prior to laying their egg. If she wasn't such a good dog otherwise, I'd hock her doggie treats. 

New dog on the block (on the back porch, actually): A neighbor down the way (but not as far as an axel greasin’) recently posted a picture of a pretty black and white female Australian Shephard stray. She related that the dog was about a year and a half old and really sweet but that it needed a home since their family had a full share of pets. I advised the nice lady that, if she didn’t hear from anyone soon, call or text me and I would be glad to have the dog.

A couple of days later, she called and said that I could come get the dog. We were there in about 15 minutes because we were coming back from P’ville and were almost home. Sure enough, the pup was as sweet as a bucket of “Ho Ho’s”! You couldn’t help but fall in love with this pooch in a nanosecond. I did just that.

Amazingly, whereas Abbie won’t go near a car, when we put this little cutie in the Camry, she made herself at home! She remained quiet the short ride home and never so much as complained as we began the integration process into her new digs.

What with her being so obviously sweet, we figured that she would be the “beta female” and Abbie would be the “alpha female”. That was the case, indeed. The two met and did their “meet the new doggie thing” for a while (you don’t really want me to go into details, right?) and played around a bit and got used to each other. All was well. In no time, and after a good meal, our new girl dog made herself at home.

Ah, but wouldn’t you know; she commandeered Abbie’s well-broken in patio pad. Abbie was only a little short of being beside herself to see that her highness’ nap pad had been hijacked by a newbie. She danced around and about and barked for a while as the intruder rested comfortably and being almost unaware of her exceptions. Thankfully, nothing became of the matter. It didn’t take long until they were both enjoying some romping in the back yard and the matter was forgotten.

While all of this was transpiring, the two old ranchers were pondering what to name our nameless newcomer. The goofy names I came up with just didn’t have a ring to them (it’s difficult being an old Luddite). However, Connie nailed it within a short time: “Missy”. Yep! That’s old fashioned enough for around the old folks home and will fit nicely with our other love dog, “Abbie”. So, Missy it is.

It’ll take a while to train her to be a “chicken dog”. In fact, we just found out the hard way that we need to make it a priority. She slipped her collar and began an investigative tour of the ranch. It didn’t take long for her to bump into some of those feathered “playthings” we have free ranging here. In no time flat, and just like Abbie when she was a pup, Missy had a mouthful of feathers. Thankfully, a friend was working on his truck right next to the event and stopped the dog’s playtime. The  traumatized hen disappeared for a while but was discovered doing well at the nightly hen count. All feathers were present and accounted for.

To confirm our suspicions that she's an Australian Shephard, she not only looks like one, she has  heterochromia. One eye is blue and the other is brown and that's a common trait for them. Want to know a secret? I've wanted an Australian Shephard for many years after finding out how smart they are. They're a pretty doggie, too!  

12.30 or It’s in the bag: One of the benefits of traveling out of town is getting to eat at a new restaurant or at least find a place that we haven’t been to in a while. That’s what happened the other day when we went back to Fresno for a follow up appointment concerning Connie’s wrecked wrist (she’s healing up well).

After the appointment and after not really coming to a consensus as to which eatery we should bless with our money, we decided to just do what we did the previous time: wander about until something struck our fancy. That’s exactly what happened.

As we drove southbound on Blackstone, we stumbled right into an “Arbies”. Bingo! Our previous encounter with “Arbies” was a couple of years ago when we were travelling back from Bakersfield. It sits quietly on the 2600 block of N. BuckOwens Blvd and awaits folks like us who don’t get to satisfy their beef sandwich cravings very often (or often enough).

Wouldn’t you know they had a “two-fer” sale! After paying the $12.30 tab, we ate ours there then hauled a couple of others home to another “Arbies” fan in Porterville, my mother. She was delighted to see them despite the fact that we got home later than expected and too late for dinner that evening. So, after lavishing them with “horsey sauce”, she savored them the next day (microwave ovens are our friends!).

Well....there you have it: another short episode of the long happenings at Rancho Relaxo: home of Rancho Ran, the world's foremost authority (the previous one died): home of the Yo-Yo Twins, home of a retarded duck, home of Connie the Canner (world's greatest side-kook): where the air smells, where alliteration reigns supreme, where being modern is optional, where there are no slaves to fashion, where things can get...interesting, where it’s all news to me, and where...you just never know.