Our gobblers getting down on a pan of crushed egg shells. We save them, dry them in the oven, then feed them back to the layers so they are not calcium deficient. On the ground you can see
the cabbage that they are still in the process of pecking to death.
This is the winter view of Rancho Relaxo. The Camry is in front of the Coop DeVille. Wooley Pulley is in the middle, and Tojo is on the right. Tojo suffered a flat tire so a new one was mounted. Then, before we got home, the fuel pump failed. It had to be towed home. By the time it got home, the right front tire was also flat. So, it's "Non-Op" time for the old trooper. We'll keep it around for hauling stuff on the ranch.
I wanted to ad more pics but the blog formatting is out of whack for some reason.
Rancho Hombre Largo
It’s February 2018 already! Doesn’t
that just make you want to dig out your Xavier Cugat albums and start dancing
the mambo?! Yeah….me neither. Still, you have to wonder why time is in such a
hurry when it has no particular place to go. *SIGH*
Rancho Report: things are moving along
here at the ranch. Connie the Canner and I even managed to make it to Visalia
(about 45 min. from our place) to keep our Thursday appointment with a tooth
mechanic. As you can imagine, while we were in a real town, we couldn’t help
knocking over a real restaurant. It just so happened that we hadn’t had
“Chinese” in a while so were obliged to head to the “King Buffet” on south
Mooney Blvd.
I’d actually been there before (more
than once) but it had been a long long time. When we got there, their menu had
changed. It was almost like we had entered into a Star Trek transporter because
I thought we were in Sequin, Texas! They had virtually the same goodies up for
grabs as the Chinese place there! This is to say, they had the most beautiful
pan full of hot and spicy crawdads I’ve seen since Texas! Whoo doggies! It was
time to dig in! Not one of those mud bugs made it out alive!
The great thing about crawdads is that,
any part that isn’t hard, is edible. At least that’s the consensus of those who
were blessed enough to establish southern eating protocols. Not everyone
agrees, of course. Connie (“No creeping things here, thank you”) thinks that
these “things” should remain at the bottom of a muddy creek in Texas or
Louisiana or somewhere where humans can’t reach them. Not even labeling them
the high class sounding, “langostino”, will help reconcile her to their
culinary importance. She still thinks that Mxyzptlk, Mars (presumably the
capitol) is close enough for her taste (are you “Superman” fans listening?).
I mean…come on! How can you not like
tearing into these little crustaceans and liberating that tasty morsel of tail
meat, eh? Then, you get to suck the mud out of the front part, too! Zowie! Ok!
Ok! I still like you non-southernized folks who still need to get the memo. I
won’t “un-friend” you.
Anyway, there was a real determination
to just eat until full instead of eating until I made money. My heart was right
and, by and large, the goal was accomplished. However, I still couldn’t keep
myself from stocking up on calories until dinner time next Tuesday.
Thus, the “Rancho Largo Dude” title.
It’s difficult to arrive at any other conclusion when a guy goes to the doctor
for a checkup and he hears the new digital scales holler “Hey! One at a time,
moron!”. Then, he turns around and dives headlong into the next buffet he
tracks down…on purpose.
The Ol’ Rancher can’t turn the clock
back but he can surely turn back the scales. There are some dietary changes in
the making. It may take a while but, the next time the scale speaks, I hope to
hear it say, “Nice job, lightweight dude!”.
Adding to that foray, we recently got
to experience a trip to Farmersville (about 5 miles east of Visalia) to a
church there for a “singsperation”. We were again invited by some super
friends, brother James and sister Fern Hill who have a family member who
attends there. It was as great the second time of getting together with other
brothers and sisters and sing unto the Lord many songs!
Since winter has skipped this part of
the country, spring dutifully stepped in early and has sprung. It was ….get
this…76 degrees today! This wonderful comfort is great but it’s a double-edged
sword. We seriously need rain because there is no snow pack on them thar hills!
Heat in February is not a good thing.
It doesn’t bode well if we have to continue water rationing around here. The
state will FORCE US to only use about a tenth of what we actually need (https://californiapolicycenter.org/permanent-water-rationing-coming-california/).
The truly sad factor is that residential water usage only comprises less than
10% of total usage. The State, on the other hand, flushes more
than 30% of allocated water into the ocean. Go figure.
My guess is that’s why another 250,000
tax payers fled California and its lunatic politics in 2017. Thousands of
business including those from this area (and even Toyota after decades in
Torrance) have simply said, “Enough of this BS” and have moved to adjoining
states where they are now thriving. Isn’t it fabulous when people finally put
an end to their being abused by the government and simply walk away?
Moving along….this is California so when
warm weather arrives, the carnivore instincts kick in. Being inspired by a
confluence of gastric juices and a complaining tummy, Ol’ Ran just had to fire
up the grill. It just so happens that there was some lamb in the freezer that
needed to be either eaten or fed to Abbie, the one-pooch cleanup crew.
So, out came the lamb steak and a
package of my favorite brats (that would be the ones that can’t get away) and
the trusty-dusty-but-not-even-rusty “Weber” propane grill was excited to life
with the piezo starter button. The big Brinkman charcoal briquettes grill is my back
up in case I have any extra energy and I’m not so convenience
oriented (uuuuuh….could be awhile). In fact, I may just use it solely as a
smoker. All I need is…..a day off. Yeah, buddy.
The Rancho Grillo Dude couldn’t help
but think that the lamb dinner couldn’t possibly be complete without at least
one large baked potato (the brats are for lunch de la mañana). Three fat spuds were
placed on the grill to be partially baked and then completed in the new
microwave oven (we’re still talking convenience here). They were alongside some
freezer burned hamburger patties that later became treats for Abbie.
That all went well so the evening meal
was a feast. I hadn’t had grilled lamb in decades. I won’t make that mistake
that again and will look for deals and sales on lamb. Good stuff and Abbie got
some fat and meat trimmings, too!
Computer Dude Report: though this is as
much a “Rancho Relaxo Report” matter, it fits tidily into this part of the
report. Our trusty microwave oven decided to stop flinging its miniscule waves. We then
purchased a new 1.5 cubic foot GE microwave from an eBay seller. When the nuke
box arrived, we joyed over it and immediately put it to work.
However (I’m not a big fan of
“howevers”), there was an unidentified growling noise coming from it. Since
there simply aren’t a lot of moving parts in a (standard) M/W oven (at most
two), it was easy to deduce that the turntable motor was defective. Sure; we
could have just boxed it up and sent it back to Plainfield, IL (yes.. that
Plainfield, IL where friend and brother, Ben Garwood calls home). However
(ditto), that would have been really….inconvenient.
Since it was under warranty, we called
GE Service who connected us with “L&S Appliances” in Porterville. That was
cool as far as I was concerned since I had dealt with them 20 years ago while
managing the apartment complex there. Because it was a free-standing unit, we
had to lug it to their shop about 5 miles east of town. They took the unit,
ordered the part, and a week later, we had our nuker back.
The great news was that they had three computers
sitting and collecting dust in their office. After a few questions as to the
issues and what disposition they had determined for them, I wound up taking
them home to fix!
Here’s the next part of this saga: not
long ago, one of our two newest freezers (three years or so old) went out. This
is not a good thing. The old ranchers had to scramble and get things over into another empty freezer in the barn (it was full…ugh). Because it wasn’t sorely
needed, it sat forlornly for a while. Then, Connie the Freezer Lady
decided, “This thing needs to be fixed so’s we can use it”. You know…it’s hard
to argue with a logical person.
While at “L&S Appliances”, the lady
mentioned “barter” to which we were immediately amenable! Long story
longer….”L&S” brought our M/W back to us and took a look at the freezer. He
determined the issue (a faulty thermostat control) and ordered the part. The
next week, he came to the house to install the part. Our freezer is freezing
again!
We’re now looking to resolve a
mysterious clanking on our “Maytag” washer (you know…the one where the repairman
is a hermit because “Maytags” are so reliable…heheh…all you old people remember
him in the ads on TV). Bartering is our friend!
Chickenin’ Report: our biddy buddies
seem to be trying (though not all that hard) to maintain a modest egg production.
If it weren’t for that, I’d have to come to the conclusion that we have too
many feathery pets around here. You just can’t have an egg business for very
long if you keep having the same food costs but having little or no return for
the investment.
We do cut costs by feeding our girls
the produce tailings from a local supermarket in Porterville. That surely
helps! And, we let them free range during the day after we think that they’ve
had enough time to lay their eggs. Certainly, we still have to track down a few
“Easter eggs” (that gets old). But, we do get a few that way.
We’ve had to account for the fact that
some of our birds are just old and are “retired” at egg laying. Most egg
ranchers will replace their producers every 2 to 2.5 years as the layer’s
production naturally decreases. Ol’ Rancho Ran is going to have to resort to
replacing his girls at some point. Otherwise, continuing to cosset and pamper
the birds that only produce feathers and squawks will get really really old as
well as really expensive
The other day, we headed out for
Hooterville and had decided to take the Camry. The Camry is our ride of choice
when we don’t need to haul stuff around or pick things up and such. It
dutifully sites beneath the large fruitless mulberry tree awaiting our every
behest.
When I approached the car, I noticed
that there was a huge…as in large…as in great big… black and white mess on the
roof! Now, this just didn’t seem quite right given that my birds, as healthy as
they are, could muster up enough…uh…black and white mess…to merit such concern.
It was a mystery!
When given such a poser, I’ve learned
to use the “Sherlock Holmes” method of resolving matters. It basically says
that, “After eliminating all other possibilities, whatever remains is the
answer”. There weren’t any other possibilities that I could think of so my
lightning-fast mind made the obvious conclusion: there is a pterodactyl in my
tree!
It had to be! After all, there aren’t
any ostrich or emu farms around here! There may be a couple of llamas but, when
was the last time you saw one of those up a tree? I mean, we do have mountain
lions in these parts. But, that would mean that you’d be looking for your llama
on the roof and not just up a tree. The California Condors are near but don’t
come down this far. Even then, if it were a condor, it would have taken a week
to recover the Camry. And, the red tail hawks and our big white owls aren’t
usually this close to our house.
Of course, it didn’t take long to
figure out that there actually were other possibilities and that I was
mistaken (3.67492 seconds, to be precise.....I did mention my lightning fast mind, didn't I?). Upon closer examination and while watching the tree for chickens to
roost that evening, it because obvious what had happened. It wasn’t a single
chicken that was the culprit; it was a pair of them roosting side-by-side. What
a relief to know that I won’t be out the expense of adding a cathartic to their
diet.
To make up for all of this expense and
inconvenience (have I mentioned that I’m convenience oriented?), I’m waiting
for a psychic chicken to show up so I can take it to “America’s Got Talent” and
clean up! Then, I could put it on YouTube and it would go viral! “Randy, the
YouTube Millionaire” sort of has a ring to it, eh?
All seriousness aside, it’s time for
the chickens to start being real layers instead of solely chicken scratch
vacuums and yard fertilizers.
There you have it: another episode of
what’s happening at Rancho Relaxo, home of Rancho Ran, the world's foremost
authority (the previous one died), Connie the Canner (world's greatest
side-cook), where things can get…interesting, and where… you just never know.
