The ol' ranch hand and his side-cook broke out of the daily routine and headed for a nearby oasis. Since Porterville isn't a "real town" yet (at 60K+ population we're working on it, though), we headed the hoopie over yonder to Tulare (they had sense enough to park their burg next to Highway 99 and became a real town). When there, we took in a movie and a dinner (somehow similar to taking in a dinner and a movie but not quite as traditional...which we seem not to be anyway). The movie was "Star Trek" which was viewed with much appreciation but not without a critique. I mean, hey....you can't fool someone who was there in '66 and has seen all of the Star Trek episodes more than once. The dinner was compliments of an IHOP (which I think is an anagram for "I Hate Old People") gift card which, of course, makes the meal much more savory. All-in-all, it was a nice outing for the old folks who promptly went home and went back to work chasing chickens.
If you were wondering if that's "Wooly Pully" in the back, it surely is. She's high-sided with the 48" rails instead of the 24" ones. She's a handy gadget to have around.
This juicy cantaloupe is a "volunteer" that was planted when I spread the new compost in garden box #3. It's hiding in the shade of my okra plants! There is a sibling a couple of feet to the right of it but it's slightly smaller.
This is Sweety, grandson Cade's pullet who he helped nurse to health after it was stressed from being bullied. Unfortunately, she was severely injured this second time and is unable to stand. It was rather unexpected because there haven't been any serious issues at all since we put them in the general population. She's back in granny's kitchen (which is interesting since my maternal grandmother is "Granny Kitchen"). Connie's kitchen serves many purposes. Sometimes we even get to cook our food there!
This is the new roundabout at the intersection of Highway 190 and Reservation Road. We're headed west. This thing couldn't be more hated by the locals but the government (as it always does) shoved it down our throats. Then next thing we know, they'll erect a statue of Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown in the middle of it.
This is just as you turn left around the corner from old 65 onto eastbound Ave 94 (toward the "Hoot and Holler"). Looking northeast. The buildings had gone without use for decades so someone (Tulare County?) made way for progress. I mean....we really do need another Mexican restaurant (there's one right across the street just to the right in this picture).
To the right is Randall again but this time he is with his paternal great-grandmother, Geraldine (nee Kitchen) (Minnick) Black. We had just overhauled the steam tables at the "New China" buffet in Hooterville and had about enough energy left over to smile and a picture but that's about all. Naps are our friends. He is 17 and she is 88 and can still drive!
Well! Jump
down, turn around, and pick a bail of cotton! It's September! My believer is
still in unbelief over how fast the time is steamrolling by at warp speed!
When we realized that we were already in the middle
of August, Connie and I looked at each other and both were thinking,
"Christmas is right around the corner!! That, of course, had us shifting
into gears that were higher in number than those we thought we already had on
the console.
The really good news is that we are not having a
brutal San Joaquin Valley body-blistering-bake-your-biscuits-on-the-hood-of-your-Chevy summer (don't try this at home. It takes too long to scrape the
dough off if you screw up and not wait until the temperature is at least 110
degrees).
It hasn't exactly been a "non-summer"
summer. That would be comparing our summers to our winters which are almost
"non-winters" since you can't really tell when they start or end. For
the previous decade or more, the Ol' Rancher hardly needed a jacket during
winter (though he did notice that the ladies usually are bit more prone to
temperature variations given that they usually have only a two degree [76-78
deg] temperature tolerance and comfort zone). I think I wore my real jacket
only twice and once was for a dress up occasion (I was wearing my Tony Lamas,
don'tcha know). The other time was just to wear it to the car in case I needed
it later in the day (I didn't because it never got below about 50 deg.). Anyway, no one is complaining about the heat
so far and it's nice to not have to turn the mister on to cool the cluckers.
Speaking of chickens, it's time for the chickening
report. Here's the update on Phil, the bantam rooster: it took a bit of "Googling"
but we now think that he is a bantam white Leghorn. I had first thought that he
may be a "Japanese Phoenix" but he He doesn't quit fit the profile.
On the other hand, he does have a solid match for the "Leghorn".
The little strutter hasn't lost an ounce of pride
for the matter. He still thinks he's a gallon's worth of feathers ruling over
quarts of hens. The hens don't seem to have the same opinion and ignore him
much like he was a younger stupid brother. But, Phil is a slow learner and
doesn't get the message at all and continues to thrust his beak into their
business (I know people like that!). He still tends to loudly crow over his
non-accomplishments (I know people like that, too!).
Our young Aurucanas are nearing the time when they
will begin earning their pullet pellets. The little gobblers have turned into
big greedy gobblers. They need to start contributing a bunch of huevos to the program
to offset the mountain of chow they consume each day.
The rest of the hens at Cluck Central Station are
holding out for more scratch, the best I can tell. Their egg production is off
by quite a bit. It could be the heat but it hasn't really been all that hot
around these parts. On some days, they'll lay a lot but on others, they'll lay far
fewer. It's like they are sending a message: "You want more eggs? More
scratch, pal". So, more than likely, I'm dealing with a chicken strike of
some kind. I'm trying to get the point across to them that I hold all of the
high cards and that, if I am of a mind, they will be feeding me instead of me
feeding them. They're pretty slow, though. Negotiations with the "Big Bad
Biddy Committee" are ongoing (I hope that there are no Rusty Warren fans paying attention to this...that wouldn't be you, eh Jerry?).
It must be "surprise season" around here! First, Connie had a cool surprise in the last blog. Now, son, Jeff, called on a Friday and asked what we would be doing in a couple of
days. That sounded like the proverbial "loaded question" to me (and
it was)! I just advised that we would be holding down the ranch and headed to
church on Sunday. He said that they would be departing Abilene after work on
Saturday and that he and the fam would be here in 24 hours or so (driving
straight through)! I told him we would be ready and waiting with toes on our
bells and to drive safely (given the number of fools on the respective
Interstates). They arrived in California on Sunday, stopped first in Visalia to
visit other family, then were here at the ranch late that afternoon.
Let me tell you, neighbor; when they arrived, it was
huggies all around, to be sure! We hadn't seen any of them since our last trip
back there a couple of years ago. We stowed their gear and settled in for a
time of catching up and such.
Do you know what happens when you don't see
teenagers for awhile? They grow up! And up
is where grandson, Randall, directed his energy! He's over the six foot mark
now! Despite my warning them of the hazards of feeding children, his
parents continued to allow him access to the feed bag. He's now as tall as his
daddy and he's only 17!
Let me crow about our grandson (hey...I raise
chickens and they taught me how to properly crow!). At the age of 16, he
graduated from high school and is now preparing for a business career! The real kicker is that the business will be in merry old England! He's waiting until he's 18 (a wise
conclusion strongly suggested by his wise parents) then further investigating
the matter.
He keeps his noodle sharp by being involved with
regional "Yu-Gi-Oh" championships in places like (gulp!)
Philadelphia! If I understand correctly (I'm slower than the average jar of Safeway molasses, if you recall correctly), as the plenipotentiary
of the game, the local boys just move out of the way when they see him coming!
It also seems that that he has the same mastery of "Pokemon" and gives the other
competitors a run for their iPad (on the which all eyes are focused, nyuk nyuk).
He and his
dad tried to school us on how all of that stuff works. But, I'm still trying to
wrap at least a couple of brain cells
around the entire matter and am rather foggy on most of this modern stuff. Reckon
I'll figure it out someday but for now, I'm still trying to outsmart my
"dumb phone". So, if Ol' Ran,
the cornball Luddite (sorta has of a ring to it, eh?) sounds like a blithering
dummy about these modern fandongles while trying to elaborate, it's because he
is one (proving that he's not just any dummy but a very special kind of dummy).
Jeff is the general manager of all concessions and
food for the "Taylor County Expo Center" in Abilene (conveniently
located across the street from their regional airport). His degree in food
service and his decades of top-to-bottom experience in the industry are
serving him well. He knows the business like the Pope knows Communion.
During his time in the USAF, he was communications/avionics/radar
tech for the North American Rockwell B1B bomber. This allowed him to pick up another
degree in avionics on the which may focus on at another time (ok, ok...I
may be crowing a bit louder than Kenny Leghorn, the rooster, but I can't help
it).
Talk about a cool job! How many careers can you
think of that allow you to see all of the neat events ranging from rodeos to
rock concerts?! Not only do you not have to buy a ticket, you get paid for it!!
Whoo hooo!
While the ol' rooster is being so noisy..... his wife,
Sandra, is a top-tier commercial marketer and professional graphic artist. At the
moment, she is taking some time off (from "regular" employment) to
assist her mother through some difficult medical issues. The entire matter is on
our prayer list, to be sure.
It hasn't hindered her from embarking on a new
business, though! She has just launched "My Boyfriend's Briefs" line
of women's briefettes! Take a look on YouTube at what she's done so far. Keep
in mind, she has done almost all of the production work on this by herself!
She has also helped us with the "Minnick
Ministries" website too (slowly developing due to Bro. Ran being too busy
to finish up)! To say that we're proud of the Texas Minnicks is an
understatement! In fact, to say that she is one of the sharpest tacks in the
tool box is a huge understatement!
And, it's pretty easy to see where their son,
Randall, gets his talent, eh? I haven't found a single Ginzu knife as sharp as
he is!
It is a good thing that most Minnicks have the
ability to stay up late when necessary (good genes, eh?). That was required
because we gabbed until exhaustion bore down on the weary travelers. It was
only midnight here at the oasis but the Texas time was 2 AM! All the camels
went to bed.
They all got to see friends and family for a couple
of days. It was especially nice since Jeff hadn't seen a couple of his siblings
in ten years! What was truly special is that he got to see both of his
grandmothers. Given their advanced age, it may be the last time to do so. It was
also a special opportunity for Randall as well. He got to see both great-grandmothers!
He's old enough now to remember this as a really special moment. Both grannies
were tickled to get to see their youngin's again!
Wednesday morning was
their departure time. Thankfully, and with the exception of Jeff, we all got a
reasonable night's rest. Jeff was on call the entire time away. However, his
employees kept forgetting that he was in a different time zone. So, when they
called, it was rather early here. Ugh.
We all (you know: we
all, you all, all you all) congregated at the table for breakfast on their
first morning here. Connie piled a heap of helpings on the table and the fork fling-fest
commenced to start (etiquette lessons provided by my ol' pal, Jethro Bodine). There's
nothing quite like home-made breakfast cassarole and good hot coffee to feed a
starving soul.
The morning that they
departed, we fired up the BBQ grill (which had been forlorn and forsaken long
enough for it to be a crime in California) and had steak and eggs for breakfast.
Of course, our Rancho
Eggs performed well (as they always do) and were a savory standout (sounds like
more crowing to me). You a should have seen us tuck
into our huge repast until we were full (and could hardly walk)! La comida más sobrosa!!
All too soon, their baggage was boarded and Randall
stowed his big Breville "Roma" espresso maker that granddad gave him
(he loves espresso coffee...wonder where he gets that from?). It was mucho
huggies time and then, "Adios!" What a wonderful and unforgettable time!
But, I did forget one thing; I have at least seven
digital cameras. Do you think that I would remember to take pictures? Not
today. I'm looking for someone to loan me their favorite large stick with which
I may beat myself until I'm black and blue. *SIGH*. I don't mind so much
getting old. I do mind very much getting old and stupid. Moving along......
The next surprise was for Connie's birthday. She wasn't expecting the "Rachel Ray" cookware set that mysteriously showed up for her birthday (Amazon is our friend). Her theme for the ranch is always in blue and blue gingham so the new cookware was a theme-conforming medium blue. We put it to work straightaway the next morning with a nice huge breakfast of eggs, hash-browns, bacon, SPAM (for me since Connie doesn't eat mystery meat whose ingredients include all parts of the pig nearest [and which may even include parts of] the oink), and toast. The Ol' Rancher washed his down with a fresh hot cup of java.
The next surprise was for Connie's birthday. She wasn't expecting the "Rachel Ray" cookware set that mysteriously showed up for her birthday (Amazon is our friend). Her theme for the ranch is always in blue and blue gingham so the new cookware was a theme-conforming medium blue. We put it to work straightaway the next morning with a nice huge breakfast of eggs, hash-browns, bacon, SPAM (for me since Connie doesn't eat mystery meat whose ingredients include all parts of the pig nearest [and which may even include parts of] the oink), and toast. The Ol' Rancher washed his down with a fresh hot cup of java.
The Rancho report: the
Ol' (dim LED) Rancher just had "Porterville Ag-Home" overhaul and
service his faithful trusty (and dusty) Craftsman GT5000 lawn tractor. It now
has new belts and blades (three of them!!) so my 54" cut will look nice. They
stuck in new oil and a filter and tuned up the 26 hp Kohler motor. She purrs
like mountain lion with a kid goat on its breath. The folks at PAH are tops and
we highly recommended them.
For quite awhile, the little noise maker has been experiencing flat tires on the front. One side had a slow leak and the other had a fast leak and neither could be cured using "Slime" or "Fix-a-Flat" (which, after using, you have to fix a mess). You just can't mow the lawn with flat tires (though Connie was most encouraging by advising that they were only flat on one side). Just for the record, flat tires are not my friends.
After "Googling" to find replacements, the ranch hands were flambooberated to find that the dinky 16x6.5-8 tires were as expensive as car tires and that it
would cost around 160 dollars for just two of them! The only thing a good yard
sale'er can do in such a case is find an option (options are our friends).
After digging around
awhile, the tractor dude decided to just stick a couple of tubes in the bloody
things and be done with it. So, a local "Les Schwab" tire store had
the exact tubes for 11.50 each. We tossed the tractor onto the trailer (it's
easier than it sounds because Wooly Pulley is a tilt trailer), hauled it to
town, went in, and purchased the tubes. And, they mounted them for free! Not only that, I snacked on their free popcorn
'till I was almost bloated (free x two is definitely our friend)!!! We were back down the lane at total
expenditure of less than 25 bucks! No more flats!
It may surprise some
folks that 26 hp is only 4 hp less than a Ford 8N tractor which has a Model A
Ford engine!! The difference is in the way the power is delivered to the ground.
Traction makes all the difference. That's why I'm going to be mounting real
tractor tread tires and hub weights on my little labor-saving rider so that it
can get a grip on the ground. After all, what's a tractor that can't tract? The
hub weights (the exact ones for my GT5000!!) were a donation from a friend who
wondered if I knew anyone that wanted them! Have I mentioned that
"FREE" is my friend?!
There are a couple of
handy implements on hand (picked up at yard sales, natch) that it can tow, too.
One is a nice small tilt-trailer with an end dump. It can handle two 60lb -75lb
30 gallon trash barrels at a time. That makes coop cleaning a bit easier since
all clean-up materials are bound for the compost pile out yonder north of the
pole barn.
The other is a small
harrow for breaking up clods. We don't have but few clods here since it usually
requires moisture to make the ground soft enough to plow. D-8 and D-9 Caterpillars pulling
rippers can make large clods without having water involved but, sadly, I don't
have either of those big beauties. Our ground is hard enough to challenge a
new jackhammer so we end up with clod-less ground because of cloudless skies. I'll
be hunting around for a "real" tractor so I can bust some sod around
here and have more options for planting stuff.
To say that Rancho
Ran likes to remain comfortable while working may be yet another
understatement. A lot of the morning's routine is accomplished while he is clad
in his bed-pants, a T-shirt and sandals. Now....don't be tempted to think "hippy"
as Ol' Ran is far too "L-7" to go down that road. But, he has learned
to be comfortable if at all possible at this stage of life. So, if you see a middle-aged, over-weight, white boy
hauling chicken feed around and looking like he's comfortable, he is. It surely will be me. Around here, it's just called "ranch dressing" (ok....ok...I
won't quite my day job).
In this part of the
country (especially in rural areas where Rancho Relaxo abides) we have a rather intimidating arachnid to
which we need to pay attention. That would be the "black widow"
spider. Though notorious, they pretty much leave you alone if you do the same
to them. Still, they can make the temperature of your blood drop a few degrees
if you unexpectedly encounter one.
So far, their population has been held in check (we're not sure why yet though we do have four fierce free-ranging fowls guarding the place). Since we have several other spider species that have taken up residence around here (rather large ones, I might say), we've developed a way to determine which large spider web is which and thereby stay safe. First, you kick the web. If you damage the web, its occupant is probably the "Black and Yellow or Banded Garden Spider" or the "Spotted Orb Weaver". Next, if you kick the web and your foot rebounds but it keeps your sandal, you run! It isn't all that scientific but, hey, it works.
Well, neighbors, that's the latest from "Rancho Relaxo" and its fearless, fretless, feather-loving, farmers, Rancho Ran and his side-cook, Connie the Canner. Don't touch that device with all the buttons on it because things could get....interesting.
