Rancho Dusto

Ain't she a beaut?! We figure that it will take until about the year 2525 (if man is still alive) to sell enough eggs to break even on this gig.

 This is about as close as I care to get to there being a chicken playground at our ranch.

Heeeeere, chick, chick, chick! These little gals have already eaten enough chow to satisfy a herd of elephants. Something  tells me that I need to start looking for "options" concerning chicken feed before my eggs start costing 20 bucks apiece. I do have some ideas.

That's just wood shavings on the floor of the coop. We just found out that the sawmill above Springville will give us all the sawdust we can haul off for free.....free is our friend.

Ol' Gardenin' Granny. She now has a bunch of green goodies in the boxes (bless her sweaty little heart).

Here's Wooly Pully loaded with some hay for the roosting boxes. We're at the local feed store in Porterville.

The framing is finished for the lattice work. They just finished the gate for the center section. It has two parts with each part folding in the center and it's supported by two large casters on each part.

    Our tradesmen getting it all together.

HAY!! This is actually rice straw instead of wheat straw. The feed store was out of the "regular" stuff. I doubt if it will make a difference to the hens.

 Abbie (aka Princess Sniffasaurus) checking out what's happening in her realm. She pays attention! No Gypsies allowed!

The longer section of the patio with the framing in place.

Sometimes...even a princess needs a nap. I'm of a ready mind to rename the place "Rancho Nappo".  We didn't even have to train her to do this. She's actually only following what she sees us do.









Here we are....again....staring April in the face. I could have sworn that March just got here. Does this line sound familiar? It should; I've used this same gripe a number of times these past few years. Really....it's not that I'm out of things to say. It's just so bloody unbelievable that summer is almost here and I didn't even get to wear my leather jacket this year!

Reckon we can all rationalize that we're one month closer to the end of the earth, eh? I mean....even if it takes awhile, the end will be here (scientists estimate at least 1.75 billion years). I have plans until then.

Things are "moving along" here at the ranch. Our irrigation water will be turned on in a few days. By law, all ditches in CA have to be shut down for three weeks and cleaned. I don't mind it except.....they do it right when I need to get my garden, trees, and lawn watered before everything croaks. Gee....thanks, guys.

The water comes from the Tule River. Guess what? The Ol' Tule is at...zero flow....again. We're out of snow and therefore, out of water. This will make year three that the Tule has suffered this condition and things will not be pretty at all. This is an unprecedented drought condition so I suspect that water rationing will be just around the corner.

 One cannot but feel quite sorry for the good folks down on the flat land in the Valley. In some places, they are still receiving water...by truck! Some have had to move on while others are toughing it out because they can't afford to relocate.

 We "Foothill-ians" tend be thankful for being somewhat sequestered (though not really isolated) from the flat and featureless farmland near us (the Foots and the Flats really do get along). The water dynamics, though related, are not identical. Most of us get our water either from SPUD (Springville Public Utility District) which gets its water from the Tule River and/or from personal  (Rancho Relaxo) or corporate water wells (e.g. Del Oro Water Co. based in Maglia, CA just north of Paradise...I know.... I had never heard of the place either and I've been to Paradise more than twice). Not sure where SPUD gets its water if the river actually dries up but my guess is that they have a well or two up their sleeve.

That's a good thing...sort of. The Valley floor has dropped at least 4 feet since I was in high school thanks to the interminable sucking of water from beneath our feet (another good "straight line" that will be forfeited by the Rancho comedian .....for now).

It will be interesting to see how the new draconian water legislation enacted last year will affect us. If I understand correctly, the STATE now has all authority over all water and has the "right" to control and dictate all production and usage. In fact, if you have "too much" water (i.e. if you have more than "your fair share" of water), the state can TAKE/STEAL whatever it wants and leave you lacking and without sufficient water so that someone else will have their water needs met. That way, we're all equal. 

Moving along to the chicken forecast (B'GAAAK!)......looks like fair feathering in the near future with much plumage developing not long afterwards (noooot quite ready for the 6 o'clock news). The coop is finished and our plumage producing pullets are neatly stuffed inside and happy as larks. We toss in batches of fresh chopped veggies that we get from a local store to help balance their diet. It'll do until they can get out and stretch their legs and hunt down some bugs and such. The greens are the trimmings and culls from the store's produce department. They give it to us and they don't have to mess with it. It's a "win win" deal. Add to that the "chick starter" and some scratch and you have some well-fed pullets who are preparing to start production. Lay me some money! Ol' Rancho Ran will have to sharpen his egg marketing skills soon.

There are a couple of new "chicken stands" for them too. The stands are your basic 2" x 4" boards with 4' closet rods between them to make a place for them to park when the mood strikes. Two have three rods and the other has 5. The chickens are diggin' em so far. There is a taller "tree" too that has several 18" rod branches for them to tinker with.

 Our contractor, Rob Sanford, and his crew did a great job on all of it. He took the time to look up some coops and such and had a lot of input that helped glue all of this project together. I think his other half, Bonnie, is looking to have him fix up their place with one of these now!  

The "Abbie Report".....Princess Abbie is now firmly entrenched in our hearts and ranch. She has endeared herself to us despite a poopy start (I would have preferred rocks). Talk about frolicking and romping! Our pampered pooch can have more fun in a few minutes than I've had all year! What a hoot! Though not having a GPS, the lay of the land is now part of her programming so she keeps track of what's on her farm. Not much slips by her...especially the coons (though we haven't seen any as of late).

She and I do the fetch thing and, when there is enough energy for Ol' Ran to work with (which is about as likely as finding a box of chicken lips in a mile-high snow drift), we do Tug o' War. In only a couple of minutes it dawned on me that....I wasn't playing with the dog..... she was playing with me! Needless to say, she runs rings around me. It's usually my nap time right after that.

Her intelligence also appears to be increasing with every passing day. I've not seen such a sharp doggie. She's all but a mind reader and seems to be one step ahead of us most of the time. Looks like I need to sharpen my trusty-but-rusty Ginzu knife.

And......her ability to love us seems to grow day by day. She thinks we hung the moon and it isn't likely that we will try to change her mind any time soon. She is loathe to leave us and hates it when we depart. But, she always greats us with great joy when we return from town. However, we'll need to work on the part about French kissing her owner when he isn't paying attention. Doggie tongues are just tooooo long! We're still dialing her in so the next update will likely be a bit more detailed.

We're short another apple tree. Seems someone or something/animal or such took exception to the sapling tree's attempts to survive the drought. I found the tree this afternoon stripped of its branches. They had been ripped off rather traumatically and I can't really account as to how it could have happened. It was almost like it had been run over with my lawn tractor but the grass around the tree was still un-touched. Weird. I'll likely re-plant it since it has hardly grown at all in three years anyway.  I lost a couple of others in the past couple of years so we're down to 5 of the 9 that were planted. I have a shovel and have some options so....no worries. 

 Missing also are a peach tree and three plum trees. I re-planted two more replacement vines and added three more. There are three more nectarine trees yet to be planted too. We got trees!........ including the small pomegranate tree that not even the drought could kill!

 The garden boxes are thriving, I'm pleased to report. Connie is babysitting them with much TLC and insuring their ability to turn into an abundant harvest. She's already think ahead to canning stuff. We don't call her "Connie the Canner" for nothing!

Wait until you see the new patio addition! Since we will have chickens ranging about, it became rather obvious that our nice patio would be a target for indiscriminant yard birds who have no shame at all. That means that we would be having to clean the patio and every....single....thing.....high....and ....low almost every day. With the local rancher's waning energy reserves being tightly husbanded, that's not gonna happen. So, our lightning-fast minds concluded that the patio should be enclosed with a latticework of some kind. 

We checked with our contractor, Rob Sanford, who advised that it would be a great idea and would be a straightforward project. And, since he was already here and working, he could start immediately upon completion of the coop. He did just that. In a few days we'll have a chicken resistant patio that will be safe from critters and most varmints. Hey....I may even break out the ol' barbie and cook up a storm (I like my storms medium rare, don't you?).

The materials are all here and much of the framing has been done. The main swing gate is finished and the two end gates are just about ready. Most likely, a drop roll screen of some sort will be hung so we can block the sun in the evenings and keep the skeeters out. We'll see.

Stay tuned. The heat is rising....the water is lowering....things could get....interesting around here. 

Princess Abbie

 This is Princess Abbie on her first day at the ranch. She's getting acquainted with her friends, the chicks. I think she thinks they are toys.

She is checking things out and enjoying all of the attention being the "new kid on the block". The dog really enjoys being a princess.

"Can I have one of those?!" is undoubtedly what she is thinking. We finally put a screen across the tops of the four boxes so she wouldn't help herself to a chicken dinner.

She's getting used to being outside. I have her on a nice long cable here but have since put the electric fence collar on her. She can roam all around the property that way and not just the front. For some reason, she isn't recognizing the doghouse as her friend. We're going to spiff it up a bit and make it fit for a princess. Perhaps that will make our little princess happy (uh-huh).

This is the carport that we converted to a coop. It has just been assembled and the roof put on. We installed a metal roof rather than the fabric one that came with the carport. The carport in front of the house doesn't fair all that well with its fabric cover.

The finished exterior of the coop. There is chicken wire under it too so that critters can't dig under it. The ground in this area is some of the hardest I've ever seen. Even a pick ax is useless against it (that's not an exaggeration). You can see the 4x6's as a base which makes the coop "portable". But, it's not going anywhere even in a stiff wind. The nesting boxes are being installed at this point.

Our garden boxes are almost ready here.

Connie the Canner prepping one of the boxes. She planted a bunch of stuff that day. There are still a couple of boxes to plant.

Springville really is a pretty place in the winter and spring time. It actually is green during that time but quickly turns brown when the water stops.

This is the bridge across the Tule River just about 1.5 miles from where we live. We're on the way home now (eastbound).

One of the homes near the "Triple R" development not far from us.

Taken from "Triple R" looking slightly left of due north.

It had to happen sooner or later and I'm pleased to report that it's sooner than later. After dear Maggie the Wonder Dog went to the great hunt in the sky, we were sort of on the prowl for a new pooch that could keep an eye on the ranch whilst we are gone. It wasn't like we were actually hunting for a dog. It was more that we were (more or less) waiting for the right dog to track us down. That's almost what happened.

Connie was trolling the turbid waters of Craig's List and had been catching nothing but bottom dwellers (for us, anyway). Seems like a large number of postings were either pit bulls or chihuahuas. That's not a bad thing; it's just not "us". So, she kept fishing and one evening she tapped me on the shoulder and....there she was: the prettiest little doggie I'd seen in a long time. Whereas, with the other dogs, I'd simply pass, it took exactly two seconds to say, "That's our dog!". I think I affected Connie's speech for awhile since she thought I would just make a casual comment then move on.

One of the reasons that she was a bit caught off guard was that I had said I would not drive 50 miles to fetch a dog. Guess what? The dog was in Visalia which is ....yep....50 miles away. *SIGH*. Goes to show you never can tell.

So, we called the nice people and advised them of our story about how we lost Maggie and that we needed another dog. They had already determined that, because of their love for the dog, she wouldn't be given to just anyone that came along. They chose us as the new owners. That made us feel really swell. We made an appointment to see them the next day.

Now, going to Visalia (a "real town") is a major event for the hicks who live in Hooterville, CA and who only get to go that far onest in awhile. In doing so, we planned to make a full day of it. That means that we knocked over "Home Town Buffet" for lunch and then "WinCo" supermarket for stuff that we just can't purchase anywhere near our blessed little area (that has promised to come into the 21st  century.....someday...yes...we're laid back here). After a couple of other short stops, we made our way to the folks who were going to give us their 6 month old puppy.

When we drove up, they were in the driveway (we had called ahead). They were super Christian folks who advise that, because of a serious event in their family, were not able to tend to the little dog and take care of her the way that they thought she should have been treated.

After we were all introduced, we met Abbie. It was love at first hug and tail wag. I was already hooked from just looking at her picture so I was smitten with this little cutie when she greeted me like I was a long lost relative.  The folks apprised us of a few more things and then we said good-bye. It was no trouble at all getting Abbie into the van as she hopped right in and made herself comfortable in the back seat. She didn't hop around and didn't go exploring. Blew my mind! There was no way I could keep from loving this dog to pieces. She snatched my heart quicker than a fly can dodge a swatter. This was our new "love dog" because she could dish out a ton of love!

This dog just oozed with class. Though not "papered", her blood line was obvious. She was a premier example of the "Treeing Walker Coonhound". Her intelligence was overwhelming and it appeared that she had had at least some training. Just taking her for a walk on a leash revealed that she was already "leash broke" and wouldn't pull you around ripping your arm off. You could tell that she knew what you were saying, too. Without controversy, she was true royalty.

Once we got home, she settled in without much of a hitch. Ah, but there were a couple of hitches. One was that she knew she was a princess. That isn't a good thing. She has a streak of rebellion that keeps you from being in charge if she has an idea that she deems more important than your idea.

That is particularly pronounced when we discovered that her housebreaking training was not quite complete. Oooooooh, swell. Within a day or so, though taking her for walks, this other hitch became apparent. She managed to produce a couple of "wet spots for joy" and each time we immediately took her outside. Then she made a real mess. Uhhhhh....real messes are not our friends and are not acceptable. So,  I cabled her to the tree next to the big doghouse in front and left her there most of the day (really long cable and lots of food and water).  The routine walks continued. All seemed well.

On about the fourth day at the ranch, I had determined to take her for her early walk. Well...seems like Miss Abbie just wasn't going to have any part of such a thing and invoked her highness. She hadn't quite woke up enough and didn't particularly want to greet the day or take on her early morning constitutional (actually, I didn't either but that's beside the point). You could see in her eyes what she was thinking: "I am the princess....you are not the princess. I am cute....you are not cute. I don't have to obey you or anyone else because you serve me and I do not serve you. I can do whatever I want whenever I want and shall select such times to do my business as I please. I've just been obedient to you all this time because I was in a good mood and was humoring you; you fell for all of it".

As I coaxed her toward me so I could hook her leash to her collar, she turned away in abject rebellion, headed up the stairs away from me and, half way up, promptly unloaded a.....really....really.....large.....heaping.....molten.....mess....which appeared to me to be....half as large as the dog...... .....gaaaauuuuuuuugh. That's not the way to start my day or to impress me because cuteness can only go so far in endearing my soul. My lightning-fast mind tried to make the best of things by piping in, "Clean up on aisle 9! Clean up on aisle 9!".

Of course, this prompted me to re-evaluate things and to perhaps lower my esteem of this royal little poophound. It occurred to me that I would probably start calling her "Princess Poo-Poo Pooch" (or "Princess Three P's"). That, however, was too cute in a perverse sort of way. The next moniker didn't go over well either; it was "Poop Doggie Dog".....still too much of a ring to it and she would probably end up on TV as a rap singer. I think I've found the right one. If she doesn't behave, she'll be tagged with this most unflattering, truly non-royal, and humbling sobriquet, "Princess Steamer". The dog needs to pay attention.

We live near Highway 190; the last thing on earth we want is a flattened coonhound puppy. So, we broke out Maggie's electric fence collar and strapped it on Abbie. Up until then, I had taken her on familiarization walks around the ranch using a long leash. She enjoyed every second of it (but we still didn't find a single coon).

The electric fence is a marvelous invention. It uses a 6V battery in a special case on a collar. When the dog reaches the limits preset then imposed by the controller box, it emits a warning buzz. If the buzz goes unheeded, and the dog continues beyond the limit, the collar delivers a high voltage shock.

As an aside, let's take a second to explore that dynamic. The first thing you think is "how do you get a high  voltage shock from a measly 6V battery?". They use a step-up transformer which multiplies the voltage to the desired higher voltage which is determined by varying the number of windings.  The next question is, "Well...doesn't that high a voltage hurt the dog?". Nope. Here's why. According to "Ohm's Law" (E=IR), voltage and amperage are inversely proportional. So,  when you double the voltage, you halve the amperage (voltage is potential or "pressure" while amperage is the actual "flowing"). A 6V battery starts with a maximum of just a few milliamps and that's not enough to harm anyone or any animal under any circumstances. When you do the math on it, the few milliamps end up being reduced to insignificance. You get the dog's attention without harming it.

Having said that, Abbie was taken outside for her usual walk and to explore the new boundaries then the cable was unhooked from the leash.  Being the rather astute hound that she is, she instantly knew that she was free and could exercise her free will any way she pleased (or so she thought). Away she went to hunt down some new adventure, some coons, and to explore the farm with that magnificent nose she sports.

As you can imagine, she soon found out things had changed. When the neighbor's dog let out a bark and challenged her, she sped toward him and almost immediately banged up against the unforgiving and ever vigilant fence. She let out a bloody coonhound yelp like never before! 

Have you ever seen a coonhound do the Watusi? How about the Watusi and a vertical aileron roll at the same time? She did both and hit the ground running at breakneck speed away from the barrier. You could tell by the most humble look in her eyes she wanted no part of that again. That electric fence demoted her from princess to janitor in no time flat. Of course, it took a couple of more lessons but she learned to heed the warning buzzer when it went off. We can now let her out to have plenty of sun and exercise.

We're looking forward to Abbie being our new Rancho Relaxo love dog from now on. We love her to pieces and with just a bit more fine tuning,  she'll fit in just fine.

The chicks are doing great and growing like weeds! We've been making sure that they are warm and well fed. We've even been crumbling up our stale bread for them as an extra treat. We'll likely get the "Pullet-zer Prize" for our efforts (I know. I know. It's a cry for help). They get to move into their magnificent new poop coop in a couple of days. It has to be tweaked and finalized then we can get the flock out of our house. Connie isn't at all happy with her kitchen and sewing room smelling like a chicken ranch. The yard birds will have to go.

We're going to add a couple of Guinea hens to the mix. They are good "guard chickens" (who woulda thunk?). Most likely, we'll end up with a goose or two as both "weeders" and guards. There's nothing like an attack goose to get your attention.

Who knows.....we may end up with rabbits too. I can see it now, "Wandy's Witto Wabbit Wanch". Has kinda of a ring to it, eh? 

Our family raised rabbits when I was about 13 years old. They aren't all that much trouble and certainly to do multiply without much assistance. They're good eatin', too. It's dark meat and a bit like chicken (you knew I was going to say that, didn't you?). But, it's the truth. Good stuff.

I grew up eating rabbits and squirrels. Just fry them up and dodge the buckshot when you dig in. The wild rabbits around here are a bit "gamey" tasting but that could be a seasonal thing as I don't recall that being the case prior to now.

That's the news from Rancho Relaxo. Hang around....things could get.....interesting.