Rancho Pollo Loco

I'm not sure how many things or animals are as cute as chicks which, I think, are right up there with witto bitty baby bunny wabbits. There are 24 total but I have this sneaky suspicion that we may become a "chicken rescue ranch" or such. Good thing I still remember the Boy Scout motto, "Be Prepared"!

 When I asked the nice man at the local feed store about chicken scratch, he advised that they no longer use that for chicks. Instead they use this stuff. "Load it up!", says I. "Always feed your chickens", I always say.

This is the "un-hatched" carport that we are converting to a coop. The way we did it, we saved more than a payment on a new Ford pickup on fees, plans, materials, and extra time to build by making the coop "portable". The carport is built into 4" x 6" "skids" which are then anchored to the ground. The way that it's constructed, it isn't likely to go anywhere. It's also protected by the barn on one side and a row of tall trees on the other. No worries, mate!

You must have lumber if you're going to build, eh? Well, here's some of the materials and is the first of two such loads. If you've ever wondered what 801.57 dollars worth of lumber looks like, this is it. "Wooly Pully" is surely earning its salt today!! When we overhauled it, we had them install heavy duty springs on it so it will haul around a ton of goodies.

This is the area that I scraped off using the box scraper on the back of the Ranch Rhino. The tradesmen are in the process of putting the corrugated metal roofing material on. The little tree in the lower right hand of the picture is a plum tree that is in full bloom....in February.....which very much seems like...late March or early April.

 An almost-a-coop with a new roof.

You can see the framing in the back and along the sides at the rear. The laying boxes will be along those side walls as well as along the back.

Coming along nicely! The forward part will be a chicken run that is protected by a metal wall at the bottom half and chicken wire above that. I may put a large sign up that says, "No Critters Allowed" or "No Free Lunches" or something to that effect. I don't know; I haven't seen to many local coyotes sharpening their reading skills lately....just their teeth.

The coop is pretty well established but the boxes are not yet installed. With three walls and the vertical studs in place, their won't be a whole lotta shakin' goin' on.

The Rancho Rhino. I love this little guy. The Ford 8N was the first "real" tractor I drove when I was about 16 yrs old. The largest was the WABCO 222F/G, 21 yard self-loading scraper and the largest Caterpillar was the D-8. My favorite is the newer D-6's. Great tractor! The favorite self-loading scraper for me was the John Deere 15 yard 860A. Nice machine and fairly easy to operate. Did I mention that I love the smell of diesel smoke?

Well.....I suppose that it just had to happen; there just had to be a chicken involved with Rancho Relaxo. I mean, exactly how can you call a ranch a ranch if you don't have at least one chicken? In this case, it's actually chickens, as in 24 of the cutest Rhode Island Red chicks you can imagine. In fact, our chicks are cuter than the Kardashian chicks by a huge margin (though I may be somewhat biased in that opinion).

These are all pullets which is also to say that Ol' Ran and his sidecook, Connie the Canner, will have scads of huevos around the ranch. Connie is already looking for any recipes that have eggs as ingredients. "Huevos in the morning. Huevos in the evening. Huevos at supper time. We'll eat those yummy Huevos; we'll eat them all the time" (all you old people surely remember the pop song "Sugertime", I should suppose). Eggs are now permanently on the menu. This is a  good thing.

One Sunday, not long ago, we made mention that we had some plans for adding chickens to the ranch. We didn't advise that our plans were not all that well-formed and that our seriousness level wasn't exactly bending the needle on the "serious gauge". Perhaps we should have because one of the ladies at church ordered a batch of chickens for us! That sort of revved our plans into high gear because the chicks were set to arrive in only a couple of weeks! But, what are you going to do; are you going to complain about free chickens? Not today.

Did you know that "huevos rancheros" (ranch eggs) just happens to be one of my favorite breakfast items? Isn't that a neat co-incidence? You probably wouldn't be surprised to know that I also just happen to have a stash of chorizo stuffed in the freezer, now would you?  Mexican sausage is great stuff. However, you may not want to read the label because the Mexicans eat everything on the pig. Chorizo is made of the parts that are right next to the oink. This leads me to say that "Huevos con chorizo" is also high up on my list of favorites for breakfast. Bet you can guess that it's likely that I'll chuck "Ol' Ran's Pain-free Weight Loss Regimen" out the window for awhile, eh?

Connie rustled up four large washer/dryer boxes that serve as temporary chicken coops. She parked a couple of lamps on each one to keep the chicks warm and made sure that they had a feeder and water dispenser. The small concession we have to make is that the boxes are in the house which makes it smell like.....yep....a chicken ranch. It's a small price to pay for the excellent reward of fresh farm eggs in the near future.

How nice to watch the little cluckers grow as they covert from little fuzz balls with a beak, eyeballs, and spindly legs into fully-feathered fowls ready to make cackle berries for a living. Up to now, they have been feeding on "chick starter" but Connie just added leftover cooked oatmeal and some stale cake to their diet. We don't usually allow our cake to get stale so they may want to enjoy that treat as it isn't likely to happen again (at least, not on my watch). Soon, they'll be getting table scraps added to the scratch.

Of course, you can't have hens without a ....coop. So, that means that our "free" chickens will now cost us about a ton of dead presidents. We had some thoughts about what a decent coop would cost because we had looked it up online. But, when tractor-comes-to-tree stump, we saw that, to accommodate two dozen layers wasn't going to be.....cheep (sorry...it's a cry for help). The good news is that we have a contractor who is quite knowledgeable about such things and is helping us to dial in what he calls the "Taj Majal" for chickens (nothing like pampered chickens, I always say).

Actually, the "chicken palace" is a 10' x 27' steel pole carport with wood framing and such to  keep it stable. It's situated on the west side of the barn between the barn and a row of tall trees. The idea was to keep the brutal summer sun from baking our chickens (though I truly love baked chicken, don'tcha know). So, far there has been a lot of improvising (read: additional cost) so that things will remain stationary and we won't have to fetch our coop and chickens from the  neighbor's yard when the wind blows. There will be a total of 30 (double-row/stacked) nesting boxes across the back and sides. That should keep even the fussiest of old hens happy and clucking along with joy. The remainder will be a chicken wire enclosed "chicken run". Precautions are being made that will deprive the local coyote population of free chicken dinners.

We figured that it will take the sale of about 1,000 dozen eggs (about 3.5-4 years or so) to break egg-actly even on the deal. But, it looks like we'll be egg ranchers soon!  The best that we can tell, the local folks dearly love fresh eggs and we understand why. I grew up eating farm fresh eggs produced by free-range chickens and they're unbeatable. So, "Rancho Relaxo Real Eggs" should be in big demand. 

What with the batches of fresh veggies produced in our garden boxes, we may be setting up a produce stand alongside Highway 190 right next to the "Minnick Computer Services" sign. Maybe we could call it, "Zucchini Heaven Produce Stand" or such. How about, "Squash Me Gently Produce"? I know: "We Only Have Shallots For You". Maybe: "One Tomato, Two Tomato, Three Tomato, Four". "Eggs-cellent Vegetables", may work. Hmmmmm....if we add a hog to the mix (could happen!), then it would be "Greens, Ham, and Eggs". The possibilities are endless (and probably hopeless if I'm allowed to extend my creativity).

When the cluck-asauruses are comfortable with their new digs, we may let them free range. They keep the insect population under control while they fertilize the farm (fertilizer is our friend). They are handy critters to have around. There has to be a new guard dog to watch over them, though. The local four-legged chicken snatchers are pretty crafty. Connie, the Chicken Grandma (has a nice ring to it, eh?), has been watching Craig's List and such for a new guard pooch that will fit the bill. Lots of prospects but nothing has really captured our interest. Most have been too far away and I  refuse to believe that I have to drive 50 miles to find a dog (and won't). Porterville isn't a "real town" yet but we do have plenty of dogs from which to choose.

The garden boxes are pretty much prepped but for the addition of a couple of extra sacks of "make it grow" stuff. It'll be "some of this and some of that" this season. Squash is always a winner. Just throw water at it and it will certainly grow. Tomatoes are a must and green beans have made the cut as has okra. Man does not live by bread alone; he's got to have okra. There are probably twenty different types of seeds on hand and not enough room to plant them all. Connie will see that the important stuff gets planted. "Watermelon", you ask? That may work! We'll see. In any case, can't wait all that much longer or it will throw off our schedule. 

The rains finally came again and gave us a wee bit of wet. The mountains got more than a dusting but still not enough to be called a "real" snow pack. It's supposed to rain again tonight so more relief is on the way.

The "Ranch Rhino" has been tuned up and is all set to go. She purrs like a puddy tat. I used it to flatten out the area where the new coop is located. Likewise, the little "RanchoToyo" pick-me-up truck is tuned, the brakes are overhauled, and the cooling system has been tidied up (it was leaking). Now for the other equipment with a motor on it. I need to make sure that the portable generators are ready at a moment's notice and the chipper and tiller haven't been started in awhile. The trike starts easily but it needs a new rear rim. That shouldn't be a big deal except....the only bike shop in town (there are 65K people here)....doesn't ....speak ....English. I may just order one online and be done with it.

The computer biz is still keeping me busy and occupied. It won't be all that long that I'll be the "village blacksmith" and no longer needed. It'll be some time yet, though. By that time I'll probably be ready to just let it go and focus on full-time ministry. It's not "work" for me as I enjoy the challenges. Guess you could call me "Randy the Tinker Dude".

More later. We'll be adding a rooster to the equation at some point. That could easily be newsworthy. So, don't touch that digitally manipulated, rotating knob, connected to a splined shaft that controls the ganged capacitors which control the tuning of your electrically-powered, A/C rectifying, RF detecting, direct conversion, audio amplifying device that feeds the AF output to a cone speaker, and that sports a lighted LCD display.