RANCHO MUY VIEJO

Well....here we are again. It's the beginning of a new year and all is well but all is speeding by way too quickly (as though I haven't said that before). So, I thought what I might do is just bellyache about how old I'm getting then show a few pics of the Ol' Ranch over the previous few years so we can see some changes and such.

"Viejo" is the Spanish word for "old"....yep....that about 'splains how we are starting to feel around here now that the shiny new calendar spat another year in our face. "Rando Gringo Viejo" may have a bit of a ring to it but....I may just go ahead anyway and forsake any Spanish I've learned over the years and go back to Ol' Ran (which strangely has only a smidgeon of an age connotation). Besides! I can't possibly be 66 years old! It's more like I'm 36 years old with 30 years of experience! So, my body is lying to me (nothing like one's birth date to interfere with a perfectly good delusion of youthfulness, I always say)!!  

It's not that my entire body is feeling old, mind you. Just the other day I found a place on the heel of my foot that wasn't complaining. Well, come to think about it, my earlobes have been silent in the conversation, too. So, all is not lost. May I tender that it really does help to use a moderate amount of the traditional mood-lifting black elixir of life, espresso coffee. It assists in mitigating the soul's weariness and to sets it free so that it may soar above the doldrums of life (albeit, oh, so temporarily).

Why would a fella want to complain about his age when he can't actually be "old". After all, it's only been about 50 years since I graduated from high school! I mean, it certainly seems like only a short time ago. Aren't the sights, sounds, and smells still fresh in our minds? Doesn't the music from that era still ring in our ears and souls? Can't we still hear the rumble of the hopped-up cars that proudly roamed the streets just waiting to show off by wasting gas and "laying rubber" from a stop light? Can't we still taste the 20 cent  burgers, 10 cent fries, and 10 cent Cokes from Coleman's?  Can't we still feel the vibration of the ill-fitting roller skates at the "Skateway" roller rink? How about the stinging shyness at our first "Sock Hop"? That's still stuck in the frontal lobe on the third brain cell from the left!

Oh, bother! Can't we just ignore the stupid calendar?! Seems reasonable to me (but it is conceivable that age does weaken a person's grip on the reality of time...double DRAT!). Maybe we old people don't even want to engage brain cells in pondering such mysteries of life as we still have more important things on which to expend our mental energies.  Ah, but what comfort it brings when you caress the soul with the warm memories of years gone by.

Moving along....this prime time reminiscing session has been brought to you by the "Group Hug and Clouded Memory Club" sponsored by the old folks here at "Rancho Relaxo".

Now that that's out of the way, here are a few random pictures from the ranch. My hard drive crashed recently so I lost far more pictures than I want to even think about. I had them backed up on a nice 3TB external hard drive that I managed (without help from a single other soul) to pull into the floor to see if it would bounce. It did....but just ....once (my  lower lip stopped bouncing after awhile too). So, I don't have any recent pictures that can be posted. *SIGH*. 

This is a "faith" picture of our garden boxes. That means that we are speaking of those things that are not now (our boxes are an unprepared mess right now) as though they were (just like this picture presents). Just think; in only a few days of back-breaking labor, we will soon have verdant prosperous garden boxes in our back yard! 

This is the cage that now protects our previously unprotected trash. Nothing like well-protected trash, I always say. The idea being, of course, is to keep the critters (of which there are no few around here) from dining on our ex-lunches at their leisure. The dining part is not such a big deal. But, boy! Are they a bunch of inconsiderate slobs! You should see the mess they leave behind!

This is our sweet little storage shed we call the "igloo" (is that obvious or what?). This little guy just fits the bill for storing some of our goodies like lawn mowers and other power equipment. I keep a few gallons of gas on hand in there just in case one more more of the old ranch hands forget to get gas for the other powered stuff around the ranch (keeps us from being tempted to speak "French" should we run out of gas just when we need to use the weedeater). It's a converted cargo container from an early Boeing 747 freighter. Later containers are not made of fiberglass and are not so easily reconfigured. Lots of envious local folks when they saw this handy gadget                                                                                     being modded.

"Ol Ran, the Bee Man", they call me! Well...that's one of the things they call me (and it could be worse, eh?). I want to say that someone could realistically get by with calling me "Ol' Ran, the alien with surround sound ears and a snare drum head". My friends, the bees, don't seem to be particularly offended by my not appearing to be all that human. I left behind a couple of gallons of fortified sugar water so they would know that ....are you ready for this?.....I come in peace.

Not too many things as cute as a mourning dove. This is "Lovey Dovey" our resident baby dove production plant. She blessed us with three crops of chicks that we got to watch grow up. She's sitting on the first two here right at our back door. She broods two eggs at a time. The other two times, she hatched them in the hanging flower baskets on the front porch.

We really love our pole barn. We had no idea when we had it built that ...it would be too small. *Sigh*. The "Rancho Rafto" is the 14' aluminum fishing boat to the left of "Heffalump" the 6' x 12' covered trailer. It has yet to feel the cooling waters of the nearby lake. Next to the boat is the "Ranch Rhino". It's a little 1950-52 Ford 8N tractor with a drag scraper hooked to its three-point hitch. I would own an 8N even if I didn't need one. I love the little buggers and have since I first drove one in 1965. Next to the 8N is usually either the big 27 hp Craftsman lawn tractor (the 8N has 40 hp) or the 5' x 8' stake-side trailer.
Now, that's a handy gadget to have! I can haul anything!
When we had it overhauled, we had the guy put in heavy-
duty springs so it can literally handle a one-ton load!

Here's shot of the front of the barn. The window above is my "radio shack" which also double as my "fishing shack" where I clean, service, and store my fishing tackle. I have some SW gear and some VHF/UHF scanners up there along with a laptop and printer. A CB rig is up and running but it's only hooked to a mobile antenna. I need to finish up with my ham gear. The antenna tuners are ready but the antennas themselves have yet be strung and tuned. Maybe on my next.....day off. The little pickup is our ranch fetcher and shagger. It's the main garbage hauler when we hook the stake-side trailer to it. It's a "Toyota" but I could swear it's built by "Timex".

No trip down memory lane would be complete without a shot of "Ol' Maggie the Wonder Dog". Life just isn't the same without this "love dog" and I truly miss her. She was a hoot to the end.

Here's grandson, 12 year old Thatcher, standing next the 8N that he just conquered. He's now officially a tractor driver. He wasn't the least bit afraid and took to it like a turtle to a lettuce patch. His 10 year old sister, Liesl, not to be outdone, likewise, showed the tractor who was boss! She owned that thing! She was fearless! Yes...that is the igloo in the background diligently guarding our goods. And the trash cage can be seen doing its duty as well. 

No trip around the ranch would be worth much without getting to see the latest addition to the "family". Meet "Cafe Roma", a sweet little (but rather weighty!) like-new, low-mileage espresso brewer built by Breville. It brews espresso magnificently and is actually better than my other one. My big espresso maker is also made by Breville and is a more expensive unit. However, it needs more attention than I can afford to spend on it at this time (perhaps on my next day off). So, Connie, bless her darlin' heart, found this cutie on "Craig's List" for 35 bucks!! That's 35 with a capital Three! It retails for about 269.00! We were the first to call and I doubt if it would have been available for a second inquiry. 


 

RANCHO ENERO

Whew! Once again the first of the year is rocketing by with no regard for my comfort level! Here it is the middle of the month and I’m still waiting for the month to start!

We’ve kicked of the year at “flank speed” and it’s not likely we will decelerate to “slow ahead” any time soon. I’m not convinced that our old barges were meant to go this fast!

The Ranch is still trying to handle to effects of all the goodies we hauled back from our vacation. Stuffing and stowing our booty isn’t always easy since the space in the barn and garage are already pretty well accounted for. We always think of something. 

Well….Ol’ Ran’s head has a couple of extra holes in it. Seems that the tooth fairy has fallen on hard times and wanted her money back from when I was 7 years old. I said, “Fat on you! I spent it!”. The next thing I knew, she snatched 4 of my teeth and left me with a couple of gaps. You know times must be tough when the tooth fairy turns into a thug. *SIGH*.  I'll have to take an antibiotic for a few days and so, far, I don't need any pain meds at all (after the first day). That's nice. 

The weather has been very mild again this January. It’s hard to complain with your day time temps are in the 60’s and you're wearing short sleeve shirts. We even had one day in the upper 70’s! There was a couple of days it did get down to below freezing but, by mid-day, the temperature was back up in the low 50’s. It doesn’t appear that we experienced any frost damage at all.

The bad news is that our precip levels are only about 25% of normal. That’s not good. It remains to be seen what will happen if we get hit with another dry year in a string of them. The state has passed some remedial legislation but they don't tell you the downside of such power grabs. Between the state and the Feds, they have commandeered all authority of all water resources even private well water on private property. But, they're "here to help", right?

Guess which “Computer Dude” is having computer issues and had to rebuild one computer and is in the process of doing the same to another? Yep…the “Grand  Exhausted Computer Poohbah”, that’s who. My big custom-built studhorse quad-core machine decided to go on strike. It’s hard to imagine a big bad beefy box going south on you at the most inopportune time but it did.

We were in the middle of publishing the church bulletins when it croaked. I haven’t started pulling the covers off yet because I don’t have time. Thankfully, I had just rebuilt my other big bruiser, the Dell XPS420 quad-core stomper with 8GB of ram. I replaced the motherboard and both hard drives and I dual-boot to Win7 and Win XP. The Win7 hard drive is 2TB and the XP hard drive is 320GB. Both are running as smooth as buttermilk. The hard part is bringing all of the software up to speed.

The good news is that I backed up most of my docs and such on both of them because I’m really sensitive about backing things up. Wanna know why? Because recently  I accidently pulled my 3TB external back up hard drive into the floor and killed it along with untold numbers of drivers, docs, pics, music and such, that’s why. Hard drives don’t cotton to being dribbled on a hard floor.

My heart sank lower than my jaw but I had to be careful not to be too tough on myself because Connie doesn’t take to anyone beatin’ up on her hubby. I could have ended up with some bruises.

It’s already time to start preparing our garden boxes for spring planting!! We’ll need to strip off the top foot or so of compost and replace it. We’re not happy with last year’s crops at all. This time we’ll probably add some top soil and make a mix. Our friend, Rudy in Springville, just uses the straight stuff and his garden grows like wildfire. Ours just needs to be fine tuned, I suppose.

A couple of apple trees along our front driveway need to be replaced, too. One of them didn’t thrive so that gap has been there awhile. Then, during this last yard sale event, someone backed over one of them and wrecked it.

Likewise, a couple of our vines need to be replaced. The replacements are patiently waiting in their pots but someone (ahem…wonder who?) needs to dig a hole….with a shovel….straining their latissimus dorsi, abdominal, and lower back muscles.

Oh, yes….then there’s the peach tree and plumb tree replacements too. I really think that the Ranch is soon going to see a couple of shovel-toting young fellas working around her for a few hours instead of the old muscle-protecting ranch hand. Whoa!! I just got a loud “AMEN!” from my gluteus maximus!

And, we are getting ready to have a chicken coop built!! There’s still a lot of planning to do but it should be….interesting. Chickens are fairly easy to raise but they still require work. Yet, nothing beats farm fresh eggs from free-range chickens. Most likely, there will be 6 or so layers to start with. There may be some “meat chickens” as well. We have options.

Our bees are happy and healthy. "Uncle Buzz", Dave Cruz, our friend the beekeeper, gave them a clean bill of health the other day. In a few days, we’ll feed them some sugar water. The bloom will be returning soon so we won’t have to feed them again for a long time.

Would you believe, there’s still stuff that needs to be stowed from our last yard sale and after hauling stuff back from our vacation too! Looks like we may be hiring a herd of helpers to help us get these energy-robbing chores done! I turned our upstairs mezzanine area into an "eBay" and "Craig's List" work room, too. So, there are all kinds of sell-ables hunkering in every imaginable corner and stacked all over. That all needs to be pared down and sold. Looks like I need another day off!

Lots of things need to be overhauled around here too. Most of the motorized equipment/tools need to be de-winterized and such. My motor powered trike needs a new rim. The old one is bent. Connie’s trike needs to be built! I’ve not done that yet!! There are still two more small motors that mount on bikes that need to be installed. Did I mention that I need another day off? 

Before I forget, I post this newsletter on “Facebook” for friends and all but also for relatives for whom I don’t have an e-mail address. My database was lost during my computer crash so it’s not that I am trying to snub anyone. If you can send me an address, I can restore it into my contact list (swordman1949@gmail.com ). Also, you might forward to others so I can stay in touch with them too. Thanks.

Speaking of “replacements”, we’re still trying to find a nice pooch to be our guard dog. I’m still thinking that the dog will find us first. The place just doesn’t seem quite right without a dog. The dog house is a mansion so the new tenet will feel special, no doubt. Not sure yet what we’ll name it but a couple of names have been floating about our noggins for awhile. We’ll see.

Anyway….that’s the news from “Rancho Relaxo”. Stay tuned because things…..just might get….interesting.