RANCHO FIXO

I think I have one of life’s mysteries figured out: man has created and engineered all kinds of wonderful gadgets and inventions for one main purpose: to provide jobs for many tradesmen when these fabulous marvels break.

Take for instance my perfectly functioning Dell XPS420 desktop computer that sports a dual-core processor and a terabyte of storage volume capability and 4GB of RAM. “Perfectly functioning”, that is, until it had the proverbial “flat tire” the other day. It presented its hatred for mankind when the motherboard “headed south”. It’s a super-nice machine so I may go ahead and fix the bloody thing. We’ll see but I really don’t have time to deal with it and my main Gateway ‘puter (no slouchy box that can hold its own) is still carrying the load so far anyway. 

Putting a backup computer back online just takes a lot of time….something that I can’t quite seem to find enough of….or energy (ditto). I reckon that it’s one of those “life in the big city” events that should be taken in stride. Maybe ….if….I moved further into the country and farther away from a city….uh…..naw.

Folks often complain to me in utter bewilderment that their computer was functioning great a little while ago but it is now a fully-functioning door stop. I just share with them about the “flat tire” example. Your tire, I explain, was nice and round a few seconds prior to going flat. It’s a real “Ah, hah!” moment and they understand that things that go tick and whir and that are made by man, will break at some point.

 
The silver lining in this cumulonimbus is that a friend of mine needed to part with a “super screamer” custom computer that he had built for himself. It’s not often that a box filled with moving and non-moving parts attracts my attention to whatever degree. I’m just interested in whatever “plow horse” that can get the job done for me.

 Ah…..but this isn’t just any parts box and it did garner my fancy. What can a computer dude’s heart do but go arrhythmic when he is told of a spec sheet that reads like some thing smuggled from the “Millennium Falcon”? We’re talking about some heap big medicine here: an over-clocked AMD Phantom 3.2 ghz Quad-core CPU with ….gulp….16 Giggles of RAM and that has Windows 8.1 stacked in it! Add 1.5 terabytes of hard drive space and a boat load of software (including a built-in remotely controlled TV board and software allowing you to watch any TV program ever produced!) and you have a real “romper stomper” about which you can brag to the other kids on the block! Not many can outrun that little red wagon, to be sure! The thing runs as smooth as buttermilk and does things almost before you can get the thought out of your brain cell.

The GIGABYTE GeForce GT 630 2GB 128-Bit DDR3 PCI Express 2.0 x16 HDCP Ready Video Card can handle anything you can throw at it. I’ll switch to the HDMI capability when I can. But, for now, I’m using a KVM switch to run two computers from one monitor and it’s strictly a VGA device. My nice 21” monitor can handle HDMI so I will find a way to kick things up a notch with an improved/updated KVM switch and/or a second monitor (fun stuff).

 I haven’t even gotten close to starting to customize the box yet (did I mention not having enough time?). I have enough software downloads to keep me busy for quite awhile so will need to find a slow spot in the work schedule (I’m sure that that will happen any day now) so I can load this baby up and “Randy-ize” it. Then I'll be all fixed up and ready to go.

 Minnick Computer Services is also now sporting two additional 3TB USB external drives. That brings the total (for backups, drivers et. al.) to a little more than 12TB of external storage. Keep in mind that there are no movies involved here. These are just storage volumes for applications, utilities, drivers (I have a passel of those), operating system ISO’s, backups, and the like. My internal storage on just my four desktop boxes is about 3TB (not including Connie’s big Dell E521 XP machine at 320GB or the laptops).

 I’m also now running seven operating systems (who woulda thunk?!). Including laptops, they are Win 98, Win ME, Win XP, Vista, Win 7, Win 8.1, and Ubuntu (Linux). I could run Windows 2000 Pro if I wanted to (and have thought about it since I trained on that particular OS) but it’s the progenitor to XP so it is basically XP without the frills. Both are based on the “NT” kernel.

 The XP and ME boxes are tied together with a KVM switch to a big Sony flat-screen and a booming set of speakers with a nice sub-woofer like my main station and Connie’s station (at my right hand….not so far to reach for a smootch, don’tcha know). That XP/ME set-up has a ton (not an exaggeration) of really nice music, video, and office software that includes the ADOBE CS6 PRO Suite, CakeWalk, Fruity Loops, and Band in the Box. I’ll be hooking up a lot more hardware to it including a audio mixer and USB microphone…..when I ….have time. *SIGH*.

 All of the stuff is networked wired and wireless using standard routers and hubs. It isn’t sophisticated but it works well for me.

 The van is next on the list to get fixed. This will be the repairs from Hurricane Fizzlebane that blasted through here last August. It will be nice to have my big Ford all nice and shiny again after being pummeled by the neighbor’s barn’s corrugated roofing material, trash from several neighbors’ property, and who knows what else.

The old hoopy is still running strong with 137K on her clock. She needed a new pair of shoes so we just bought her a set of P225 x 60R x 16 Pirelli’s.  Those babies are silky smooth and are “VR” rated. That’s good for 149 mph but, guess what? Ol’ Brother Ran is good for about 85 mph but only if he’s out in West Texas on I-10 or I-20. But, he isn’t... I repeat... isn’t going anywhere near that speed without being strapped to a set of wings.

I did take my ’67 Ford Fairlane GT four-speed with a 335 hp 390 CID engine to 130 early one morning in Jan on the “20 Bypass” on the south end of Rockford, IL in 1970. You can rest assured that that happened well before my brain cells awoke to sanity and while they were still soaked in youthful floods of testosterone. That’s nothing less than having Superman’s bravado stuffed in Superdork’s brain. I don’t recall ever driving too much over 105 mph but only a few times after that. That’s because I shifted from 3^rd to 4^th at 105 mph “when necessary” (I can still hear that big four-barrel carb sucking wind).

 

It’s springtime so the “Ranch Rino” is will need to have the exhaust manifold fixed. I don’t need it a lot but it is a handy gadget to have when you have a stuck vehicle needing a tow (don’t ask). A local friend is a mechanic and he’s back from AZ where he goes to avoid the winter here. He’s home early because…..we didn’t actually experience but a few days of winter. I actually had the A/C on today a couple of times to cool down the van after it was parked in the sun for awhile.

 

Also, “Tilly”, the Rancho Relaxo tined cultivator, will need some attention. It hasn’t been run in a couple of season so the spark plug will need to be pulled and such. I have some “hot shot” starting fluid that takes the pain out of starting motors so that should help (have I mentioned that I’m “convenience oriented”?).

 

Granddaughter, Liesl, 9 years, just spent the previous week with us. She’s a hoot from the git go. There is no end to her spunk and sass. Having been home-schooled, she’s quite the bright LED, too. There are no flies on her pies at all! We made sure to do our part to be scriptural in “making fat her bones”. She seemed to be quite amenable to the matter and turned away no good thing.

 

We know she’s normal because the kid loves hamburgers. When we took her back to her momma, we all gathered at the IN-N-OUT Burger joint at Tejon Ranch (on I-5 just across the street from the Petro Truck Stop about 35 miles south of Bakersfield before you start up the Grapevine).  The burger and fries didn’t have a chance. In fact, the world lost quite a large part of a steer that day when all seven of us descended upon the place with our fangs flashing.

 

It’s been awhile since my “spoil the grandkids” expertise has been hauled out of the cave but I found that, with enough prompting, it resurfaced fairly quickly. In no time at all, I was approaching professional levels of competence. Boy, did Liesl appreciate that!

 

She loves to ride horses so, thanks to dear friends and horse owners, Frank and Bonna Wittick, she was able to mount up and go. She and Connie also spent some time slaving away in the kitchen and in the “arts and crafts department” (that would be the dining room table) gussying up prizes and decorations for our church Valentine’s Day party.

 

Anyway….we fixed up the little lady and she had a great time at the ol’ Rancho.  And, we had a grand time practicing our grand-parenting.

 

That’s the news from Rancho Fixo for now. Hang around and grab a wrench; there’s a lot to be done.