Well….here we are at the end of another perfectly good year. I know that I
say it all of the time but….where on earth has the time gone? It seems as
though the first of the year has just gotten here. *SIGH*. Whoever coined the
term “My! How time flies!” was certainly paying attention to details.
This is also to say that I’m creeping up (as in,
being dragged kicking and screaming) to the big “65” in a few days. That
totally bums me out because I was starting to put some real effort into
outlining what it was I wanted to be when I grew up.
Anyway…..all is well here at the ranch. The trees are all going to sleep for
the winter and the gophers are all at rest knowing that it will be too cold for
me to be hunting them for awhile. I don’t know; maybe I’ll stage a surprise
attack one morning and flush the little buggers out into the open where I can
finish them off with a grenade or some such. We’ll see.
The canning is over for this season. Connie is the “Green
Bean Queen” for a day…or a month…or a year. On this last go around, she didn’t
even know she had any green beans growing and ended up with 14 pounds of them!
Not having our produce stand in operation yet (or planned yet), she opted to
just can them. Add to that the fact we have plenty of bacon, salt
pork, side meat, pork shoulder, and other pork products then you
can imagine the options that we have for green beans in the future. The church
potlucks will certainly benefit from a few of the casseroles, no doubt. “Green
beans in the mornings. Green beans in the evening. Green beans at supper time”
(surely all you old folks remember the song: “Sugartime” – the McGuire Sisters
1958).
Our bees are doing whatever bees do for the winter. We
checked them the other day and they have honey for the winter. But, we’ll make
sure that they don’t run out prior to the next bloom by feeding them if they
need it. I’ve checked with a couple of resources and
not one of them has recommended that you make sure that they have plenty of
electricity for their tiny light bulbs so they can keep warm. I’m sure they’ll
figure out how to survive the winter. So far, we still have two of the original
four hives. The ants drove one hive off and the wax moth invasion ran the other
one off. We'll see if we can hustle up another hive or two.
There's usually a swarm to be found from time to time. Perhaps we'll end up
with a couple of replacements.
We’re still eyeballing the concept of getting some chickens. I
love chickens (especially with mashed potatoes and gravy). They’re great to
have around and are a great source of fertilizer and such as well as being, of
course, a great place to shop for eggs and meat. They do keep the insect
population under control too.
The problem is that we live right on State Highway 190 which is
all called “Mashed Flat Alley”. We have one neighbor who has lost three
pet dogs to the traffic. Yes, she should have been more attentive to the matter
and do what we do. We have an “electric fence” that keeps Maggie the Wonder Dog
from wandering into the path of a stray tire. She most certainly is a “wanderer”
and is quick to exercise that undesirable trait if left to her own desires. The
fence gives her a buzz when she approaches the limit. If she continues, she
gets a hot shot of electricity which is enough to cause her to holler in pain.
She’s learned not to do that.
Wandering is doubly applicable to chickens. They seem to have
an overpowering instinct to throw themselves under the first moving vehicle
they encounter. I can’t count the number of dead fowls I’ve seen in my driving
days. Likewise, who hasn’t seen a group of chickens on the shoulder of the road
just idly pecking away at the nutritious dirt and asphalt?
There are a couple of ways to approach the matter. One
would be to fix them up with the same electrical fence that we use for the dog.
Upon further examination, that would likely be a mess for a couple of reasons.
For one, why would anyone want to hang a 25 dollar shock collar on a brain-dead
2 dollar chicken? Exactly. Not today.
Secondly, a chicken is so stupid that, when the collar
shocked them, they would probably just rebelliously continue on their marry way
until the current just killed then cooked them (nothing like zap fried chicken,
I always say). So, it’s best that we perhaps get a few chickens and practice
watching them kill themselves naturally.
Then, of course, there has to be a coop or protective
enclosure of some sort too. That’s to keep the predators from having a free
lunch. Our local coyotes are really into free lunches here. We can hear them
all the time yipping and howling at night demanding their free lunch.
There, again, is the issue of spending 600 clams to house
20 bucks worth of chickens. There may be a time when the math works but for now
I’m not convinced that it does. Anyway, I'm gonna change the subject before you
all think I'm the local chicken whisperer.
The weather report is a bit odd for this early in the
season. We’re expecting a hard freeze. Those are rare birds anyway but, to have
one the first week of December is unusual. Must be all of the global warming
we’re hearing about. You know: like the cold snap that hammered the east a few
days ago. Nothing like brutal cold to make you a believer in global warming,
don’tcha know. The climatologists in the early 1970’s were warning us about
“global cooling” and we should be listening to them. Back then, they didn’t
have computers that could be programmed to get the desired results. They just
used hard evidence. How amazing.
Before too awfully long, Ol’ Rancho Ran will have to grab
each of his gas motor powered equipment and run them for awhile. They need to
be started and run a bit to keep the gas from gunking up. I use “Sta-Bil” from
time to time but usually don’t store stuff all that long to have to need it.
The tractor needs a bit of attention but that can wait until warmer weather. I
can still start it up and let it run for now and that's all it needs. Our
mechanic is in Aridzona for the winter and will be back for his spring planting
in late February or so. I'll give him a holler. He loves Ford 8N's and even has
one himself.
The weedeaters and 3.5K generator I think can be started
with just a quick shot of starting fluid. It’s made mostly of ether which was
the first anesthetic. So, you can just take a big sniff and have your tooth
pulled while warming up your motor.
We got to go see the grandkiddies for a couple of days down in Harbor
City.
That’s next door to Torrance
and is about 200 miles as the Armadillo crawls. It was a nice time of
fellowship, food, and a bit o' frolicking (the kids did the frolicking part. I
did the “watch the kids frolic” part while comfortably parked). They are all a
hoot plus a bag of chips. I’ve never seen a batch of kids as sharp, thoughtful,
caring, well disciplined, and talented all in one place. They’re all believers
too and attend church regularly.
A couple of them are even in the Easter pageant that their
church conducts each year. They recreate paintings and works of art that depict
scenes from the Bible by using costumed and made up characters. It’s actually
wild to see a masterpiece like the “Last Supper” literally come to life before
your eyes!
The van rolled into the driveway about 10:15 PM that evening. Because we
departed in the middle of the rush hour we had to do our penance by parking on
the 405 for about an hour. That was brilliant. So, the 4 hour trip took an hour
longer.
That’s the skinny on the Ranch and its ranch hands, El Cheapo y Abuela
Guapa. Stay tuned for more adventures from Rancho Relaxo. Good night Mrs.
Calabash, wherever you are.
