Rancho Buzzo

The Buzz

The folks at “Rancho Relaxo” have been busy as bees lately. We’ve been trying to get our barn built since….May. UGH. It is almost finished but requires some “tweaking” yet. The stairs need to be finished (the railing, and step covering, etc) and we have a small issue with the electrical. Though everything seems to be up and running, the outside carriage lights and the upper area flood lamp are not working. They are going to install two ceiling fans in the barn and then two 48” florescent light fixtures and bulbs in the upstairs storage area. We had asked them to do that but the contractor “knew better” so he only installed three simple single 100W bulb fixtures.

For some reason we keep expecting the tradesmen to do what we ask and to do it correctly (silly us). However, we are continually running into a dynamic that we can only conclude as a “TMD” (“typical Mexican deal”). In fact, a dear Mexican friend and brother, Trinidad Ortiz, looked around at our barn and, without solicitation or hesitation, asked, “Did Mexicans do this work?”. He had seen this (low) level of workmanship before and was disappointed for our sake but not shocked.

This is also to say that, other than the contractor himself, there have only been two Caucasian workers on our rather extensive (dare I say “expensive”?) project of building the barn, building the patio cover, installing two evaporative coolers (one on the house and the other on the barn), and trenching for the electrical work and for the propane lines for the residential generator.

We’re finding that the Mexicans have many positive attributes.  One attribute is that they show up for work (now, there’s an amazing concept) which we’re also finding the “white guys” are disinclined to do. However, it seems to us that they also just apply the very minimal that’s required of them.

On that note, Trinidad was also advising that many of the Mexican workers he’s familiar with will work for about thirty minutes then take a break for awhile (I think “siestas” are their friends). As I can personally testify, Trinidad works until the job is done and rests only when it is reasonable and at lunch time. He is a true friend and a true treasure.

The picture becomes painfully clear when you consider that too much of our barn assembly has been what you can call “slap dash”. When it came to our second story, it was almost like they threw the boards to the floor then nailed everything in place where they lay. That’s a somewhat theatrical description but not far at all from being accurate. Connie and I just stood dumbfounded. Some of the bracing boards for the trusses where as much as 15 degrees out of level! There’s no way to build shelving with such a mess. We were unable to fathom how anyone could conscience such a deviation from the norm!

Loosing Our Cool

We ordered our evaporative cooler back in May. The previous year, our leaky, old, and tired swamp cooler saved us approximately 50% on our energy usage for staying comfortable compared to only using our AC units (one for upstairs and one for downstairs) for this year. A month ago, we finally got the thing installed (by Mexicans). They told us that the unit was a 240v model. I had specifically ordered the 110v model so thought this to be odd. When apprised of this “fact” about the wrong voltage, the contractor dutifully called his preferred electrician who wired the circuit for 240v. That should have been the end of the matter. Not so.

Because the first air conditioning guys washed their hands of the matter (another TMD because you would think that they would want to work and get paid), the contractor called yet another A/C crew in. They hooked up everything and threw the switch only to see the 240v COOK the 110v motor. Seems that these incompetents didn’t understand ENGLISH well enough to interpolate their environment. The motor was fried and so was I.

Come to find out, the unit was, indeed, the 110v model that was ordered. However, the manufacturer had plastered the wiring diagram for the 240v model on an inner panel of the unit. They (los hermanos) didn’t have sense enough to figure this all out so now we’re going to have to pay huge A/C bills because the cooler will likely not be available at all this season. Ain’t that enough to make you want to slap your nanny? We’re trying to deal with the contractor, Home Depot, and the manufacturer for a replacement motor as of today.

Another friend who works for Southern California Edison advised us to find a third-party source and just fix the bloody thing. I called high school friend, Darrell Blassingame (“Darrell’s Heating and Air”) and left a message about the dilemma. I’m sure that he will get back to me on Monday (he, did, in fact, return my call this morning and made an appointment). After that we can simply address the issue with a lawsuit if necessary. In any case, we hope to have a working swamp cooler.

Yard Sale City!

We just survived our thirteen-family yard sale this previous weekend. This was not our “first rodeo”. The two of us are well-seasoned yard sale’ers so, though difficult, we managed to have a good time of it. It did take a toll on our aging airframes so we’re still recovering.

After the sale, many of the folks just left the “tailings” here to be picked up by the local “Sheltered Workshop”. They run a thrift store which sits back from the corner of Olive and F streets. It’s “Value Village” now but which, when we were teenagers, was a grocery store (that later failed for whatever reason). They deal with helping handicapped kids so we have no problems helping them.

However, that meant that lots of “free stuff” was there for the picking. So, we did just that and looked through a few boxes and availed ourselves of a few things. Another dynamic was that, for the next couple of days after the yard sale closed up, people were still coming in and buying things. That meant that we are still making a few more shekels! Shekels are our friends! Most of the proceeds will fund our trip to WA.

Hot Shot!

I finally got my Mossberg Model 817 17HMR (Hornady Magnum Round) bolt action rifle glued together. I had to wait for the BSA “Sweet 17” scope because the rifle doesn’t come with an iron sight. I fired a few shells through it to tighten up the scope but I need to really dial it in. Long-time friend Jerry Lewis has access to a range and probably a shooting bench and a pair of binoculars so I may have some options (I’ll buy the targets. HEHEH). Otherwise, I’ll just pin a target to a tree at 100 yards. I may not have to since I’ve already nailed a ground squirrel out that far. Another option is a “bore sight”. You simply screw the device into the barrel, turn it on, then sight in on a target. When you’ve adjusted the scope, you’re good to go. We’ll see.

The .17 cal is a really sweet item. It zips along at around 2550 fps (at least the ammo I buy states this as fact). That’s at least twice as fast as the .22 cal long rifle bullet. What is really nice is that the bullet is either 17 or 20 grain and it doesn’t have a lot of mass even when compared to the venerable .22 cal ammo. If you hit something hard with this bullet, it will simply disintegrate instead of ricocheting off into the neighbor’s back yard or such. The scope is quite a bit larger than the one on the Ruger 10/22 .22 cal rifle so I’m looking forward to actually hitting what I see. HAR! In fact, I’ll likely put another “Sweet 17” on my 10/22 and dial it in.

I’m also looking to put a Wolfe hammer and spring kit into the 10/22 so that I can mitigate the 6lb trigger pull. Having to use both feet and both hands to pull the trigger is throwing me off by quite a bit. I talked with the local gunsmith who said that he can do the upgrade for me.

Getting Trashed!

Today was “dump run” day. The dump (technically, it’s a “transfer station”. I guess they transfer it to Russia or someplace) here is only open on Friday’s and Saturday’s. We haven’t been to the dump in about two months so our trash got so large that it was about to start ordering us around. That also meant that we had to enlist the aid of the “real trailer” which is the big white 6’ x 12’ covered rig that we bought last year.  

We filled our big white trailer, “Heffalump”, to the gunnels with everything from the usual household trash and yard sale tailings to broken down computer desks and cardboard boxes. Connie and I were quite the tuckered twosome after that adventure. At least we won’t have to stumble over our trash for now.

We did get blessed at the dumpsite too. Instead of the usual 35 clams to accept our stuff (because of being in such a large trailer), he only charged us for two pickup loads worth of trash (12 bucks times two = 24.00)! I can live with that. The guy that runs the place knows that Connie and I always clean up the area with a couple of brooms so he sometimes cuts us some slack.

Ditch Dealing

In a few days another contractor will come to fill in the trenches that had to be dug for the electrical conduit and for the propane tank lines for the residential generator (that has been patiently waiting installation on the driveway for months!). I will have my back yard in my possession for the first time since last March. The casual observer will note that I don’t actually have a back yard at this time. What is there is an arid patch of hard dirt and dead yellow grass and in which there are a couple of trees that are fighting for survival. I suppose it’s all for “the cause”.

The contractor who is filling in the trenches will also build the apron or ramp to the barn entrance. The barn was built upon a 10” pad of decomposed granite per county ordinance. That left it sitting quite high because the ground upon which it is situated happens to be a tad below grade in regard to the rest of the terrain (i.e. it sits in a hole). So, we now have to build an almost 20” high apron to even reach floor level! I couldn’t make it up the steep pad and into the barn with the little ’85 Toyota pick-me-up truck the other day! He’s also going to use his backhoe to rip out a few old unproductive trees that are just in the way. There are a couple of other odd jobs he’s going to help with.

Trippin'

Getting back to the trip to WA, we’ve now postponed our trip by three more weeks. The trip north usually happens in July when we can escape the heat of the Valle de San Joaquin. If necessary, we may just shut down the entire project and “get outta Dodge” before this thing ends up being finished at Christmas time. It will be great to see friends and family again.

Last year, the good folks of Washington were suffering from an unexpected and brutal heat wave. We found that it was so very nice of them to time that with our arrival so that they could share their sweltering heat with us. That far north most folks don’t have air conditioners and can’t spell “A/C”. So, there were a lot of melted Washingtonians flowing around. At least the soft drink industry prospered significantly during that time. 

Dear friend and brother, Jeff Edgecomb, has announced that he will be preparing a feast for us while there. This won’t be the first huge feast he has hosted. We have been the recipients of Chef Jeff’s culinary expertise on a number of occasions. After covering us in deep fried sea food and hand crafted deserts, not a soul was able to leave the place hungry! There is often a jam session to boot!

The trip north will have barely cleared our short term memory when we will be departing for Texas in November. Most likely we will be there for Turkey Day. It’s really nice to get together on holidays with friends and family. Our family (Minnick, Sanders, Mitchell, Brown and other kith and kin) used to do that quite frequently. But, after the elders all passed away and after the youngin’s all moved out of the area, we rarely get to see each other.

Stay tuned to AM fourteen thrifty (where squawk is power) for more news and updates (a parody of the local radio station KTIP AM 1450 "Where 'TALK' is power").

SAFE!!

We’re “SAFE” in Springville. Well…at least our rifles and shotguns soon will be. We just mounted our 625 lb Patriot Safe Company 39 gun “Warrior” 59'' x 39'' x 27'' gun safe in the garage. It hasn’t been opened yet because no time has been allocated. The big beaut has been patiently sitting in the driveway for four months. She has been all decked out in cardboard and squatting on a wooden pallet all this time waiting to be included in the family. It happened today.

We borrowed a pallet jack from great friends, Mike and Frankie Archer, so that we wouldn’t have to hire elephants to move this beast.  It took a bit of shouldering and grunting but we finally pushed the huge chunk of beauty into place. The next step is to drill a hole in the concrete, hammer in a concrete anchor, and bolt it into place. 

Connie and Julie Hergersheimer (Christian friend and neighbor) spent a great deal of time in the heat (with the aid of the trusty and blustery “Turbo-Fan”) in the garage making way for the safe. Part of the plan was to clear the garage of “stuff” (most of which is just “ffuts” spelled backwards, don’tcha know) so that we can actually use it as a garage and to get ready for our huge (not an exaggeration) yard sale. The gals did a bang-up job at the expense of a lot of time and sweat.

Now…I don’t mind flexing what few muscles I have left. However, I have long known that when you flex a muscle, it equates to “work” and “work” equates to heat. Let it be known to all that “heat” is my enemy. I fiercely defend myself against heat of any nature except for food which needs to be near the molten point for me to enjoy it. If my food isn’t hot enough to rip off the top layer of skin on the roof of my mouth, I probably won’t enjoy it. It is recommended that you don’t ask about such a dynamic because Ol’ Ran can’t explain it to himself much less anyone else. The bottom line is that I did a “Garfield” and watched the gals do their thing while I stayed in the cool shop working on computers. Hey…there has to be a little bit of an income to pay the help!

“SALE”

Speaking of yard sales, our May yard sale is ready to go for this weekend. Oh…you did the math on that? I thought so. We’ve had to put it off because the barn wasn’t complete. The big twelve family (with more pending) yard sale has come upon us for this weekend so we’re up to our ears in getting ready. That means that we had to go to Exeter with the big white 6’ x 12’ covered trailer (nicknamed “Heffalump”) to pick up some yard sale goodies for dear minister friends, Paul and Sherry Breski.

On the return trip, we stopped at dear friend and fellow musician Bill Hull and his wife, Jan’s, place in Porterville to pick up some of their goodies. That filled the remaining 30% or so of the trailer’s available space. Then, we all headed to “Rancho Relaxo” to unload.

When we arrived, we found that our new awning cover for our eight pole 12’ x 20’ car port had arrived (the old one was trashed)! We had actually believed their initial shipping forecast that the cover would be available on the 5 of August. What a blessing that it arrived in time to be available for the yard sale! We all pitched in and got the cover pulled into place and secured in almost no time! It will afford at least some shade for the welcomed shoppers at our gala affair. We have a couple of other nice “easy up” awnings to work with as well.

It has to be noted that we originally had planned this big event to be concurrent with the “Springville Rodeo” in April. What with all of the hundreds of cars passing our place, there’s no way we could have anything but a successful yard sale. However, we just found out that the “Mountain Fest” musical event is being held in Camp Nelson this very weekend of the yard sale! There will be scads of people passing our way!

In all of our travels and loading, we’ve had to deal with a phenomenon called “summer heat”. And, that means that we were all melting into a puddle of primordial slime while we loaded and unloaded everything. What is really interesting is that it hasn’t been all that hot lately here in the Valley. It has been only about 95 degrees or so and will remain about that temperature for the next few days. “Hot” here means 105 to 110 degrees. I’m most thankful that it wasn’t hot enough to boil crabs in a crock pot but I’m still filling my armpits with a swamp when I have to be outside for any length of time.

“BARN”

The barn is almost finished! The electrical part has been completed and there are a few small finishing touches that will be needed. We’ve already started loading it up! The new swamp cooler is patiently waiting installation too. At least the water to the cooler has been plumbed (tied into the house line).

The apron/ramp still has to be built up to the floor. As it is, the floor of the barn stands almost 10” above the pad on which it was built. I couldn’t even get the little Toyota pickup in there! The contractor has a pile of dirt and a pile of DG (decomposed granite) with which to build it.

Also, the trench needs to be filled in and a couple of small trees removed. After that, I can think about having a lawn again. What’s there now is not a pretty sight after not having had water on it since March.

Stay tuned to find out how the big yard sale turned out!